


The Lord & His Squire

by foreveragain87



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Anal Sex, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Humor, M/M, Oral Sex, Past Sexual Assault, Period-Typical Underage, Self-Voyeurism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2018-10-18 20:35:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 55,632
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10624674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/foreveragain87/pseuds/foreveragain87
Summary: A prequel of how Loras Tyrell went from being just Renly Baratheon's squire to his lover.





	1. A New Home

**Author's Note:**

> I've always wondered about Renly and Loras's back story and how their relationship evolved, so this is just my imagination of how it might have unfolded from the beginning. 
> 
> Of note: Chapters 1 through 10 are basically "PG" rated. From Chapter 11 onward it becomes Explicit.

Loras climbed off his horse and stared at the castle of Storm's End where he would be squiring for the foreseeable future. He already felt a knot in his stomach and his throat tighten as he half-listened to his father talking to Renly Baratheon, his new Lord. He hated this place already. After a few minutes of discussion, his father, Mace Tyrell, turned to him and smiled. “Well Loras, I’m going to take my leave now. I’d like to get back to Highgarden before dark. Do what you’re told and work hard. I know you’ll make me proud, son.” His father smiled and pulled him in for a quick embrace before climbing back up on his own horse and leaving. Loras felt a lump in his throat as he watched his father leave. He could feel the sting of tears beginning to well up in his eyes. He wanted to yell out to his father not to leave him there, but he knew that he couldn’t. It was his duty to do as his family wished, and the plans for him to squire for Renly Baratheon had already been finalized. He could never question his father’s wishes for him.

“Loras?” He turned to look at Lord Renly for the first time. “I’m Renly Baratheon. It’s nice to finally meet you. I’ve heard good things about you. I hear you’re quite the swordsman for your age. Why don’t you grab your things and I’ll show you around the property.” Loras picked up his small sack that had some clothing and a few things he had brought from home as comfort items. He threw the sack over his shoulder and followed his new lord for the tour. He only half-heard anything the older man said. He was too into his own head, his own thoughts and fears to pay much attention. After walking around the outside perimeter they went inside and Loras was escorted to his room. “Here we are” Renly said, “This will be your chamber.” He opened the heavy door and Loras stepped in. The room was small, dark, sparsely furnished and cold. It was nothing like the spacious room he had at Highgarden. He understood that he was here as a servant more or less, to be at Lord Renly’s beckon call and to train to become a member of the Kingsguard some day....but he never expected his accommodations to be this dismal.

Renly could read the face of the young squire. “I’m sure it’s nothing like you’re used to. I am sorry about that.”

“No, it’s fine. Really.”

“Well, I’ll let you settle in Loras, all right? Supper will be in a few hours. Take the rest of today to make yourself comfortable and get familiar with the house. We’ll start first thing tomorrow on your training, okay?”

Loras nodded his head and looked down at the ground. He felt a firm hand place itself on his shoulder. “It will be okay,” Renly said softly. “It will take some time for you to get comfortable. Don’t worry though. I’m sure we’re going to become good friends.” Loras looked up and saw that Renly was smiling at him. He had kind eyes and a soft voice.

Loras could feel the burning of tears forming again and looked away quickly. “Uh huh” was all he could muster. He knew if he spoke actual words Renly would hear his voice shake, and he didn’t want that. What kind of a squire cries anyway? “Well then, I’ll leave you to it then. I’ll see you at supper. If you need anything just ask.” And with that, Renly exited the room and closed the chamber door. Loras leaned his back up against the door and looked around the depressing room once more. He slid his back down the door until he was sitting on the floor. He pulled his knees up to his chest, placed his head down and silently cried.

  *****************************************************

Loras was sitting on his small bed when he heard a knock at his chamber door. “Come in,” he said. The door opened and Renly entered with a tray. “You never came down for supper” he smiled. “So I thought I should bring you something to eat. We don’t want you wasting away on your first day here, do we?” Renly chuckled and set the tray down on the nightstand beside the bed.

“Thank you. You didn’t have to do that. I’m really not hungry anyway.”

Renly took the one chair that was in the room and moved it beside Loras’s bed and sat down. Loras studied his face. He looked nothing like his older brothers, King Robert and Stannis. Loras had seen them both a few times over the years. They were always so stern and angry appearing. But Renly had had a soft and gentle smile on his face since the moment Loras had arrived. Maybe he was just being polite to break him in, Loras wondered. When he learned that he was going to squire for a Baratheon, Loras had serious reservations. The name “Baratheon” was well known throughout Westeros and that wasn’t necessarily a good thing.

“You’re 12, is that right Loras?”

“Yes, my Lord.”

Renly laughed. “Oh no. You can just call me Renly when we’re together. Obviously on formal occasions and such you would need to address me as Lord, but not when it’s just you and me. Do you understand?” Loras shook his head in agreement.

Now it was Renly’s turn to study Loras’s face. The boy kept his head down and his long blond curls partially obstructed his face, but it looked like he had been crying.

“Loras? Can you look at me?” Loras lifted his head just a little bit. He didn’t want Renly to see that he had been crying for almost two hours straight. Renly looked at the boy closer....his eyes were puffy and red and his cheeks had tear stains on them.

Renly leaned in from his chair and placed his hand on Loras’s wrist. He gave it a gentle squeeze that startled Loras a bit. “I know this is hard for you Loras. I don’t know who decided that 12 was the age a boy should suddenly stop being a child and become a man, but I think it's far too young. I’m only a few years older than you, but I know that I couldn’t have left home at 12 and felt good about it. But I promise we’re going to take good care of you. You’re going to train and learn a lot while you’re here. I want you to be happy here. I hope in time that you are.”

Loras nodded his head. He knew he should say something...something to show his gratitude or appreciation. There were so many other boys that the Baratheons could’ve given the position of squire to, but Loras was chosen. And that in and of itself was an honor. But Loras couldn’t think of anything to say. He wished he were home where he felt safe and secure.

Renly rose from his chair and made his way to the bedroom chamber door for the second time that day. “Please try and eat something. Lily in the kitchen will be upset if you don’t!” Renly flashed a big smile at Loras, and for first time Loras managed a small smile back. He knew he should be grateful that his new lord was being so kind to him.

“I...I will. Thank you.”

“Good night Loras. I hope you sleep well.” And with that, Renly was gone.


	2. The Storm

The rain had started to come down in torrents. Loras had just secured the horses in the stable for the night and made a mad dash back to the main house. It had been one full week since he first arrived at Storm's End and he had learned a lot in that week. He had been training with an excellent swordsman on his technique and skill. He had been perfecting his horseback riding with another teacher. And he had been learning how to serve his new lord. Renly had been very patient with him, always instructing him with a gentle tone of voice. If Loras did a task wrong, Renly corrected him with kindness. He never yelled at him. Loras knew many squires were yelled at constantly by their lord. A friend of his back in Highgarden had squired for someone who not only screamed at him day and night, but beat him as well. So Loras clearly knew how very lucky he was.

Loras ran through the main door of the house and shook off the rain from himself. He heard a voice coming up behind him. “It’s really coming down now, isn’t it?” said Renly as he approached Loras. “Looks like we’re in for a good one tonight. That sky is turning black.”

“Yes, my lord.” Renly shot him a look with a raised eyebrow and a half smile. “I mean, yes. Yes it is...Renly.” Renly smiled at his new squire. Things were going so much better over the last few days. Loras was getting more comfortable, he was coming down to have supper with everyone else, coming along well with his training, and every once in a while he could manage to get a smile out of the boy.

“Well, I’m going to retire to my chambers now Loras. There’s really nothing left for you to do, especially with this storm coming. So just take the rest of the evening for yourself, okay?”

“Um...are you sure? I mean...I can arrange your clothes for the morning or I could....”

“No, no, no,” Renly stated. “Just take the rest of the night off. I don’t need anything. I’ll see you in the morning Loras.” Renly flashed him his signature smile and headed down the hall toward the other end of the house where his chambers were.

Loras headed to his own dismal room and closed the door behind him. He lit a candle, which barely did anything. Even when the sun was shining his room hardly ever got any natural light. It was enough to make anyone depressed. But with the dark sky and driving rain pouring down, Loras could’ve had 10 candles burning and still been in the dark. He took off his wet boots, pants and shirt until he was down to just a small pair of underpants. He crawled into bed and tried to see if sleep would come. But every time he would start to nod off, a boom of thunder would come followed by a strike of lightening.

Loras hated thunderstorms. If he were home in Highgarden right now he would be in his sister Margaery’s room. She always let Loras climb into bed with her when he was scared. How he missed Margaery. He missed her comforting smile, her melodic voice, and how she could always make him feel better. Loras sniffled and blinked back the start of a few tears. No – he wouldn’t cry. He hadn’t cried in three days and he wasn’t going to start that again.

But just then another deafening boom crackled through sky, causing Loras to jump up and out of bed in a panic. He bolted out his bedroom door and down the hall. He wasn’t exactly sure what he was doing or where he was going, but he couldn’t bear to be in that dark scary room all alone with a thunderstorm going on. He charged down one hall, then another, and then the next until he finally came to Lord Renly’s chambers. He flung open the door so fast it slammed onto the wall of Renly’s room with a loud _'CRASH'_.

Renly was in bed reading by candlelight and nearly jumped out of his skin at Loras’s entrance. Loras suddenly realized he had broken one of the first rules he learned upon arriving at Storms End: _Never enter your lord’s chambers without knocking first_. Loras immediately grabbed the door, stepped back out into the hall, and closed the door as quickly as he could.

Renly, still sitting in his bed, blinked for a moment trying to register what had just happened. He snorted softly in amusement and closed his book. He knew why Loras was there. He waited for Loras to try again.

 **KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK**.

“Who is iiiiiiiiiiiit?” Renly called out in a sing-song voice, sounding more like an old lady than a lord of 17 years. He chuckled and waited for the reply.

“It’s Loras. Can I come in?”

“Oh! Loras? I never would have guessed. Sure, come on in!” Renly was laughing out loud at this point. So seldom was there any comic relief in Storm's End and he relished it on the rare occasion that there was.

The door opened and Loras sheepishly came in, cheeks red with embarrassment for making such a huge mistake. “I...I’m so sorry. I forgot the rule.”

“Nonsense. Don’t give it a second thought. What can I do for you, Loras?” Renly looked at the boy, standing half naked in his underwear, half trembling from fear of the storm and half because it was always so dam cold in the castle. “Are you scared of the storm?”

“Uh, no. No, I’m not scared. I just...uh...I just...”

“You just felt like running around my halls in your underwear?” laughed Renly. Loras looked down at himself. He had been so scared when he jumped out of his bed that he had forgotten to put his pants on. He felt the heat from his cheeks moving towards the back of his neck in embarrassment. “ _What a stupid idiot I am_ ,” he thought. First he had barged into his lord’s chamber room unannounced, and as if THAT wasn’t bad enough, he was in his underwear.

“Oh gods, I’m so sorry. I...I...I’ll leave.”

“No, no, no! Get over here and sit down. Don’t worry about it.” Renly motioned for Loras to come in and sit down on the right hand side of the bed. Loras did as he was told and sat down. Another thunderous boom came at that moment and Loras startled and jumped at the noise.

Renly smiled at the boy. “You know, I used to be afraid of thunderstorms when I was young too. But you know what helped me?” Loras shook his head no. “My mother, before she passed, used to tell me that whenever there was a thunder and lightening storm, it meant that the gods were having a celebration battle. Kind of like how we celebrate down here on our nameday. Their swords make the thunder we hear, and the lightening is when one god has won the battle.” Loras smiled at him. He knew it wasn’t true, but appreciated the fact that Renly was taking the time to tell him.

Renly placed his book on the nightstand and leaned back on his pillows. “Do you want to stay here for a while Loras? Until the storm passes?” Loras looked at the bed. It was three times the size of his tiny one back in his room. And Renly’s room was large, bright and comforting. Loras nodded and quickly sprung up to the head of the bed like a cat, jumped in and pulled the blankets up.

Taken aback at how quickly Loras leaped into motion, Renly side-glanced over at the boy with more than a little amusement. He hadn’t meant for the squire to jump INTO the bed with him, just to continue sitting there for a while and talking. Renly tried to hold back a laugh. He covered his mouth with his hand so Loras wouldn’t see the grin that had formed. Loras had made a third mistake, and a rather large one at that, but Renly honestly didn’t care. Loras still had so much to learn, but right now he was just a boy of 12, a child still. A child that had been pulled away from the comfort of his family and was frightened of a thunderstorm.

“Well, all right then, Loras. That will be fine. I’m sure the storm will pass soon and then you can go back to your room. Right?”

“Uh huh,” Loras replied and pulled the covers up under his chin.

The two talked for a long while, Renly telling the boy stories and adventures from his own youth, and Loras asking questions here and there. Renly had been droning on about the last time he and Robert and gone hunting, when he noticed Loras’s questions had stopped. He looked over and saw that the boy had fallen completely asleep.

“Poor kid. I probably bored him,” Renly thought to himself. The 12-year-old had had a difficult first week, but he could tell he was slowly becoming more comfortable. Hell, he hopped right into his bed uninvited with only his underwear on – it doesn’t get much more comfortable then that. Renly leaned over and blew out the candelabra on his nightstand, then rolled over on his side to go to sleep himself. No reason to wake the boy up now. He would send him off to his own room when morning came – and the storm had passed.


	3. The Stable

Renly stepped outside of the castle, surprised at how warm it was. The sun was strong and the sky was unusually blue with dozens of white, puffy clouds. He made his way around the vast property to the back where the stable was. He was sure he would find Loras there tending to his personal mare, as that was part of his morning routine. He stuck his head in and saw Loras toward the back of the stable, brushing Nellie and talking to her. Loras was brushing her with one hand and stroking her nose with the other, then leaned in to give Nellie a quick kiss on her nose. Nellie in turn nuzzled her long face into Loras’s neck, playfully pushing him back a bit. Renly took another few steps forward and upon seeing Loras reach into his pocket, stopped and listened.

“There you go girl,” the squire said as he pulled an apple out and presented it to the horse who snatched it up greedily. “Don’t tell anybody though! I stole it out of the kitchen, so SHHHH!” as he put his finger to his lips, as if he and Nellie had entered into a silent promise of keeping the secret. Loras startled and turned around quickly as he heard a soft laugh.

“My Lord! I’m sorry – I..I..I...didn’t know you were there. Um...I’m sorry.”

“Sorry? For what, Loras?” Renly smiled.

“For stealing the apple. I know I shouldn’t have done it, but Nellie likes them and I try to give her one every day. I’m sorry,” said the squire softly as he looked down at his feet and kicked a bit of hay around.

“It’s okay, Loras. Just don’t let the kitchen staff catch you, that’s all.” Renly stepped forward and stroked Nellie’s mane as she finished crunching on her stolen treat for the day. “It’s really hot today, isn’t it?” Renly began. “I can’t recall the last time it’s been this hot.”

“Yeah,” started Loras, happy to have the subject changed. “It’s usually so cold and miserable here and...” he stopped short, realizing he was insulting his Lord’s home and land.

Renly laughed out loud. “It certainly is, I won’t argue with you there.”

Loras looked up out of the corner of his eye at Renly to study his face. Renly wasn’t at all mad about the petty crime Loras had just confessed to, and he was grateful for that. People had their hands cut off in Westeros for theft and his Lord would have certainly been in his right to punish Loras in any way he saw fit. But Renly was unusually kind. With each misstep and mistake Loras had made over the last year (and there had been far too many to count), Renly always tackled it with a cool head and kinds words, hardly ever raising his voice. Loras knew how incredibly lucky he was to be squiring for him.

It had been almost a year since Loras had come to Storm’s End and the two had become close – almost friends Loras would say. Certainly Renly was his superior in every aspect and Loras was there to serve him, but when they were alone, Renly was somebody that he could talk to in a way he couldn’t talk to anybody else at Storm’s End. And seeing how he didn’t seem upset about the apple thievery, Loras decided to ask the question he had been contemplating all morning.

“Renly? Um...since it’s so hot, do you think I could go swimming in the pond today with Arthur? I mean, once I have all my chores done of course” Loras asked sheepishly, still stroking Nellie.

“Arthur – the stablehand’s son?” Renly thought for a moment. “Sure, that will be fine. It looks like you have all your morning chores done anyway. Just remember – I need you to be ready by dusk tonight.”

Loras’s eyes lit up as he put the brush down. It was so hot and Loras was so grateful for a chance to just have a little fun for a while. “Thank you! Thank you, Lord Renly!” and he dashed out of the barn to find his young friend. Renly smiled and shook his head as he gave Nellie one more pat on the head. “I thought you were looking a little fat lately, girl. Now I know why!”

Renly walked out of the stable and over to a stone bench just beneath a few trees. It was far too beautiful a day to be stuck inside that gloomy, damp castle. He sat down, closed his eyes and allowed the sun to warm the skin on his face. He hoped the day would pass slowly as he was not looking forward to this evening at all. He was dreading it, in fact.

Renly opened his eyes at the sudden sound of boyish laughter and splashing. Loras had apparently found Arthur. He looked down the grassy hill to the pond where the two boys had stripped themselves of their work clothes and were down to just a small pair of white cloth underpants each. Renly found himself smiling as he watched the two jump in and out of the pond, pushing each other under water, laughing and gasping for air. Renly couldn’t really remember a time when he was that carefree and he silently mourned the loss of any real childhood of his own.

The morning quickly passed into afternoon. Renly had directed the kitchen staff to bring some lunch out to the pond area for the two boys, and he himself even chose to eat outside under the trees and blue sky as well.  Loras had called up to him numerous times to join them in the pond, with Renly declining.  Lord's don't swim in ponds after all, but it felt good to be invited into their play nonetheless.  Before long, one of the servants came out to notify Renly that it was time to begin preparing for the evening.

Renly stood up and bellowed Loras’s name three times before the boy responded. He watched as the two boys climbed out of the pond, Arthur pulling his pants on as best he could with wet legs, and then heading for home. Loras looked around the grass for a moment, eventually picking up his boots, and headed up the hill toward Renly.

“Loras, where are your pants?” Loras stood before him, dripping wet, wearing nothing but his small underclothing that was stuck to his skin like glue.

“Arthur threw them in the pond. I can’t find them.”

Renly shook his head. “Go in the house and dry off. We need to start getting ready for tonight anyway.” Loras dashed off, spraying Renly with water droplets from his long wet hair.

“And don’t go by the kitchen!” Renly yelled after him as an afterthought. At this time of the day there were sure to be at least a half-dozen female servants in there and he didn’t want a half-naked squire shocking any of them.

“Okay!” Loras yelled back, running around the property to gain access via a different door.

Renly laughed and shook his head at the sight. Not a day had passed since Loras had arrived that the squire hadn’t made him smile at least once, each and every day. Hopefully his squire’s bright personality would get him through the dreaded evening ahead of him as well.


	4. The Party

_**KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK** _

“Come in,” Renly called.

Loras entered his Lord’s chamber, having dried off and changed into appropriate clothing. Now he would tend to Renly to ensure he was ready for the evening as well. Loras busied himself pulling out some of Renly’s nicer pieces for tonight’s grand event. He helped him as he slid his arms into the shirt and formal coat with cape. Loras secured all the buttons on the jacket and lacings on his pants in short order and finally slid Renly’s high leather boots on. What used to take Loras easily a half-hour was now done in under 10 minutes.

“There!” Loras proclaimed, almost proud of himself. He gestured to the mirror. “Look at yourself. You’ll be beating the girls off with a stick tonight!” he grinned.

Renly looked at his reflection in the mirror. He had to admit, he did look rather handsome thanks to Loras’s help. But he wasn’t happy. The last thing he wanted to do was attend another ridiculous party in hopes of finding himself a bride. His older brother Robert, King Robert to be exact, seemed to be endlessly trying to marry him off as quickly as possible. Robert didn’t like the implications that were suggested by Renly remaining a bachelor...didn’t like the whispers that always followed whenever Renly attended such an event and barely spoke to any female there. Renly was becoming a liability to Robert and the Baratheon name.

Loras picked up a hair brush and began to brush Renly’s long hair, having to stand on his tippy-toes to do so. Renly squirmed uncomfortably, knowing they would have to leave momentarily.

“Stand still!” Loras pleaded. “You’re more difficult to brush than Nellie.”

Renly laughed in spite of himself. Tonight was going to be miserable, but he was bringing Loras along so that would be of some comfort to him. Renly took one last look at his reflection in the mirror, sighed heavily, and took Loras as they headed downstairs to the awaiting horse and carriage.

*************************************************

Renly entered the ornately decorated castle with Loras trailing behind him. It was the home of some prominent government official that Robert knew. They were guided toward the main ballroom that was already bustling with guests. A small orchestra was playing in the corner of the room and a few couples had already begun to dance. Renly scanned the room, hoping to see at least one familiar face in the crowd, when he felt a tug on his arm. “What should I do my Lord? Should I go stand over there?” Loras asked pointing to a wall where other servants were positioned as they waited for their respective Lord or Lady.

“No. Why don’t you come with me,” replied Renly not wanting to work the room alone. “At least until I can find somebody I know.”

Renly grabbed a glass of wine to calm himself and slowly made his way through the large room, Loras keeping a few paces behind him as a good squire should. “Gods, I hate these things” Renly muttered under his breath.

“How come?” chirped Loras, whose eyes were darting around at all the fancy people, the gourmet food, the musicians, the ornate decorations dripping from the ceiling and walls. “I’d come to one of these every night if I could!” said an excited Loras.

Renly half-smiled and turned to face his squire. “I’m not here for fun, Loras. I have to find a bride soon and get my brother off my ass.”

“Well, I’m sure you can find one here,” Loras said encouragingly. “I’ve never seen so many women before in my life.” There were dozens upon dozens of young, pretty, age-appropriate ladies in attendance, any of whom would have probably killed to get a dance with the handsome Renly Baratheon.

“Yes, but finding the RIGHT one is hard, Loras. My last name is Baratheon. I’m the Lord of Storm’s End and my brother is the King. How am I to know if a woman has feelings for me...or just my last name?”

Loras nodded his head in agreement. Admittedly he had never thought about such things as marriage before in his young life, but he certainly understood the dilemma Renly was in.

“Plus, if I marry...I want it to be for love – I want it to mean something. I don’t want my marriage to be arranged because her family is wealthy and together our families can unite to ensure future success. I want it to be because I honestly love that person more than any other human being on earth. I want to love them enough that I would lay down my life for them, and they for me. How do you even begin to find such a person?” Renly looked off in the distance, lost in his own thoughts.

A few young ladies walked by, offering shy side-glances at Renly and giggling. Loras was young, but he new flirting when he saw it. He nudged Renly to bring him back out of his own thoughts. “Lord Renly – those two girls over there...they like you” he whispered into his ear.

“Thank you Loras, but I can handle this myself,” he replied.

“Suit yourself. But if I were you, I’d go for the one in the blue dress,” Loras stated in a hushed voice.

“And why is that?”

“Because the other one is trying too hard. Her tits are practically hanging out.”

Renly snorted and turned his head away. “Oh – so you DID notice them, eh?”

“Well yeah, how could I not? I’ve never seen so many half-naked breasts in my life.” Loras wrinkled his nose in disgust.

“You act like that’s a bad thing, Loras” Renly chuckled. “You mean to tell me you don’t enjoy looking at them?”

Loras again wrinkled his nose, scowled his face, and crossed his arms in front of his chest. He looked like a 2 year old about to have a tantrum Renly thought to himself.

“I guess you’re not quite old enough yet. But some day you WILL desire them, Loras. Every man does. Well... _almost_ every man.”

Loras eyed Renly. His Lord certainly wasn’t comfortable at this formal party and he felt sorry for him. He knew what it felt like to have to do as your family wished, rather than making your own life choices. Renly’s brother desired to have him married off...Loras’s father desired to have him squire far away from home...and probably married off at some point as well he assumed. Both were simply respecting their family’s wishes and commands, whether they wanted to or not. To be able to follow your own heart was a rare commodity in Westeros.

Another young lady approached, one whose bosom was more respectfully covered up Loras observed, and introduced herself to Renly. Loras stepped back a few paces to offer them their privacy. He could not hear the conversation over the orchestra’s music, but Renly seemed to be holding his own in exchanging pleasantries with her. After a few moments Renly excused himself and stepped toward Loras. “I think I’m all set” he whispered in his ear. “You can go stand by the wall now.”

Loras eyed the pretty female patiently waiting. He looked her up and down before nodding his head and stating “Yeah, I think she’ll do. She doesn’t look like a floozy. Her tits are all covered up. So go ahead.”

Renly snorted. “Well, I’m glad to have your seal of approval, Loras. I’ll come get you in a little while, okay?”

Loras nodded and headed over to the area where the other squires and servants had assembled. From there he watched the night unfold – the dancing, the eating, the nobility and upper class interacting with each other. Some day Loras hoped to be a part of this world himself. The orchestra’s music had changed from lively to a much slower pace as the night wore on. From the corner of his eye, Loras could see the pretty girl from earlier trying to coax Renly onto the dance floor with her. Renly was resisting as best he could, but she was unrelenting. Finally pulling him out to the floor where she wanted him, she placed her hands over his shoulders, forcing Renly to reciprocate by placing his hands on her waistline so they could dance. Loras giggled a bit to himself, seeing the uncomfortableness in Renly’s face. They hadn’t spent almost every waking moment together over the past year without Loras learning how to read the older man’s body language.

As if sensing eyes upon him, Renly looked up and over at Loras. Loras gave him a smirk and puckered his lips up as he teasingly imitated a kissing gesture. Renly shot him back a glare....dark enough that Loras realized he had probably crossed a line. Loras looked down at the floor, still grinning a little. Lifting his eyes a few moments later, he noticed the girl’s eyes darting back and forth between Renly’s eyes and lips, as she moved her face in closer to Renly’s. Even Loras knew she was begging to be kissed, and Loras knew NOTHING about girls.

“Kiss her Renly, for gods sake, _kiss_ her!” Loras thought to himself. “What the hell is he waiting for?”

Loras watched as the awkward scene unfolded, the girl herself eventually taking the lead and kissing Renly. Renly reciprocated out of what seemed like politeness, but nothing more. “Wow,” thought Loras. “That didn’t go well.”

Loras turned his attention away from the uncomfortable scene on the dance floor and began talking to another squire until he felt a hand on his shoulder. “Come on, Loras. I think we can go home now,” Renly said quietly. “I did what Robert asked me to do – I attended this stupid party and spent the better part of the night with a girl. Anybody who was here can attest to that if he doesn’t believe me.”

Loras waited until they were outside and discreetly inside the carriage before he spoke. “What happened in there? Don’t you like her? She’s pretty, isn’t she?”

“Yes, she’s VERY pretty Loras.”

“Then why didn’t you want to kiss her?” the young squire asked, his face puzzled and confused.

“It’s complicated Loras. It just didn’t feel right. You wouldn’t understand – you’re not old enough. I don’t want to talk about it anymore, okay?”

Loras nodded and settled back in his seat as they headed back to Storm’s End. After a few moments of silence, Loras spoke.

“Renly?”

“Hmmm?”

“I’m sorry. When I made the kissy face. I’m sorry if I made you mad.”

Renly looked over at his squire and smiled. “It’s okay Loras. I was only mad for a second. That’s why I brought you tonight. I figured you’d do or say something stupid and childish like that to make me laugh.”

Loras beamed at the backhanded compliment. He relished any word of praise from Renly. “Can I go to the next party Robert sends you too?” he asked hopefully.

“You better believe it, because I’m not going alone,” Renly chuckled.

“Good,” Loras smiled. “And don’t worry. Next time we’ll find you a better girl. I’ll even help you pick one out. One that DOES feel right.” Loras put his hand on his friend's shoulder and squeezed it.

Renly turned his head away to look outside. Loras had become such a good friend and was only trying to be helpful, but he had no idea how wrong he actually was. There would never be a girl for him that felt right. Not ever.


	5. Loras's Nameday

Renly smiled as he looked down at the gift he had specially made for Loras’s 14th nameday. He gently covered it back up in the velvet cloth it came in and carefully placed it back behind his bureau where it had been hiding for a week as he knew Loras would never look back there.

Renly walked to the window of his bedroom chamber and looked outside. In the distance he could see Loras jousting with his instructor. Loras preferred to practice outside on the days when weather permitted, and today was one of those days. This was the third instructor Renly had to obtain in just this past year. Loras had progressed so quickly that he soon became a better swordsman than the instructor in front of him. If he out-bested this one, Renly wasn’t sure how far or wide he would have to look for a replacement. He smiled as he watched his squire go on the attack, causing the instructor to retreat and sidestep out of his way. His young squire was well on his way to achieving his wish of becoming a knight in the Kingsguard in short order. Everything had seemed to come so quickly for Loras – handling a sword, handling a horse – even handling Lord Renly himself. Renly could barely remember what life was like before Loras came to Storm’s End and he really didn’t want to. Over the past two years Loras had become more than just his squire. If Renly was completely honest with himself, Loras was his best friend. Perhaps the only _real_  friend he had ever had in his entire life.

That was why the gift Renly had specifically picked out for Loras was of such importance to him. He wanted to get Loras something that he knew would mean something – something to show him how much he appreciated his service these past two years. Not that the last two years had always been easy...Loras was young and easily distracted. There were too many times to count when Renly had needed Loras for something, but yet the boy was nowhere to be found. And of course there were several times Loras had to be packed up and shipped back to Highgarden due to severe homesickness. That would happen every few months or so, but after a short stay at home Loras always returned. It was like he needed to touch base at Highgarden every now and then to secure his confidence and then he would always return with a renewed outlook.

Renly looked out again at the hillside and saw that Loras and the instructor were done and heading back to the castle. Renly had left word with the downstairs staff to give Loras the message that he wanted to see him in his chambers. Within a few minutes, there was a knock at the door.

“Come in,” called Renly.

“You wanted to see me my Lord?”  Loras walked in, face grubby with dirt and damp with sweat, causing Renly to smile a bit.  

“Yes, I did. Come on in and shut the door. I know your nameday isn’t for a few more days, but I have something and I wanted to give it to you tonight, if that’s okay,” Renly smiled.

“A present? Really?” chirped Loras excitedly. “I had almost forgot it was my nameday!”

Renly walked back to his bureau and, upon reaching behind it, pulled out a rather long, thin item that was concealed within velvet drapings. He walked over to Loras while holding it across both arms.

“Here,” Renly said with a smile. “Open it.”

Loras looked at it inquisitively as he reached over and gently removed each piece of material until the item underneath was visible. A light gasp came out of Loras’s throat as the glean of the steel flashed before his eyes. He put his hand on the ornately decorated handle and lifted the sword up into his full view.

“Is this...? No, it couldn’t be...is it?” Loras looked at Renly with huge eyes.

“Yes Loras. It’s Valerian steel. I ordered it almost a year ago to make sure it could be made in time. And look here on the handle – I had your initials engraved in gold.”

Loras saw “L.T.” engraved into the mahogany handle that was encrusted with different colored gems. Loras wasn’t sure exactly what each one was, but they appeared to be diamonds, rubies, emeralds...and many others. The entire sword glittered and gleamed from the tip to the handle. And it was SO heavy.

“You’re going to be a knight some day Loras – I have no doubt. So I wanted to get you a sword worthy of that title. Now, this is heavier than what you’re used to – you’ll have to get used to it, but this is the weight that an actual Kingsguard knight would be wielding. Do you like it?” Renly asked.

Loras stood speechless for a moment – his mouth wide open. He could only imagine how much a custom made Valerian sword would cost. Valerian steel was rare and expensive. And then the added cost of the gemstones that adorned it...the gold engraving...this was more than Loras would have ever expected ANYONE to gift him, much less the Lord who he served.

“I – I – I,” Loras stammered. “I don’t know what to say.” Loras’s voice got quieter as he continued on. “Nobody’s ever given me anything like this before. Thank you...thank you so much.” Loras’s eyes filled up a bit as he took a few steps to the side to place the precious sword carefully down on Renly’s bed. He then turned back and flung his arms around his Lord’s neck, much to Renly’s surprise. He had never demonstrated such affection before with Renly– certainly it wasn’t something a squire should do – but Loras couldn’t contain himself.

“Thank you – thank you SO much,” he whispered again in a muffled voice as his face was buried deep in Renly’s chest. Renly placed one hand on the back of Loras’s head and the other on his back, awkwardly returning the hug. Signs of affection were foreign to Renly. Whereas Loras had grown up receiving hugs and kisses from his family, Renly had not. Loras had grown up with a sister who loved to drown him in kisses, hugs and snuggles – Renly had grown up with two older brothers who barely acknowledged his existence, much less ever a kind word.

Renly stood motionless as the squire continued his unrelenting bear hug upon him. A smile spread across his face, realizing how much Loras appreciated the gift.

“Happy nameday Loras.”


	6. The Small Council Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renly's growing affection for Loras becomes noticed by others.

Loras quickly finished setting up the room for the meeting that afternoon. All of the small council members were planning to meet at Storm’s End to discuss....well....whatever it was they discussed. Loras really didn’t know – but what he DID know was that King Robert would be in attendance this time, so he would certainly be pouring a lot of wine into his chalice as the evening wore on. He finished arranging the chairs, providing an ample supply of paper, quills and ink in the center of the large table, and an even larger supply of wine on a small table off to the side.

Loras stepped back and out of the way as the various members arrived. He did not know all of them, but he knew Petyr Baelish, Lord Varys and Grand Maester Pycelle from prior meetings and trips with Lord Renly to various parts of Westeros. At this point they were all simply waiting for King Robert to arrive. The council members began to chat amongst themselves when Loras noticed Petyr staring at him. “What do you have there, boy?” Petyr asked, gesturing to Loras’s hip.

“It’s my new sword,” Loras replied proudly. He had made sure to wear it at every opportunity since receiving it.

Petyr stood up, walked over to Loras and removed it from its holder. “Valerian steel? Where would a lowly squire get something as extravagant as this?” he asked with a furrowed brow.

“It was a gift...for my 14th nameday...from Lord Renly,” the squire replied slowly. Loras noticed Renly shift in his seat a bit. He had apparently said something wrong, but Loras wasn’t sure what.

“A gift from Lord Renly?” Petyr scoffed as he turned to face Varys. “Have you ever heard of a Lord gifting his squire with something as exquisite and rare as this?”

“I can’t say that I have,” replied Varys raising his eyebrows at Petyr in mock surprise.

“There are dozens of jewels on it,” Petyr commented as he continued to study it. “And it’s even engraved – in gold nonetheless!” he scoffed. “Well, well, well, that does seem curious, doesn’t it?”

“Quite curious, I agree,” stated Varys. The two council members exchanged smirks as Loras looked on, not exactly sure what was happening.

Renly stood up, taking the sword from Petyr and handing it back to Loras. “What I choose to do, or NOT do in my own home and with my servants is absolutely none of your business,” he said through clenched teeth, growing slightly red in the face.

Maester Pycelle began to speak – “Well, I’ve always said that...” before being cut off as King Robert loudly entered the room, late as usual. For the first time ever Renly was actually relieved to see his brother so the meeting could begin and change the topic of Loras’s gift.

Once they were all seated Loras stepped forward and began to fill the chalices with wine. When done with that task, Loras knew it was his place to step back and keep an eye on whoever’s glass was becoming empty – that usually being Robert’s – and simply refill it. Small Council meetings were quite easy, but extremely long and boring and Loras dreaded the thought of standing for the next several hours holding a pitcher of wine the entire time. He glanced over at Renly, who was seated at the opposite end of the table from Robert. Renly gave him a warm smile and a nod, and that was all Loras needed to be content with his duty for the day.

The meeting droned on and on, as it usually did. Loras found himself looking longingly out the window at the little bit of blue sky left he could still see. The sun was setting...how he would prefer to be outside riding his horse – or practicing with his instructor – or, well, doing just about ANYTHING other than standing during this boring meeting.

“SQUIRE!” King Robert bellowed, startling Loras out of his daydream. “My glass is empty!” Loras darted forward to quickly fill his glass, almost spilling the wine in the process. Loras took a breath, trying to calm his heart rate, realizing he had just made an enormous mistake by not paying attention to his one and only assignment.

Renly motioned for him once Robert’s glass was filled and Loras headed down to the other end of the table. Renly’s glass wasn’t empty, but he topped it off nonetheless, bending over to allow Renly to quietly whisper in his ear - “Pay attention Loras. I know you’re getting tired, but we won’t be much longer.” Loras nodded and headed down to the opposite end of the table where he knew he would be needed again before long.

“What’s this one’s name again, Lawrence is it?” King Robert asked, looking at the squire with slight annoyance.

“Loras. It’s Loras,” Renly replied.

“Loras, yes. Mace’s Tyrell’s son. I can’t keep all you young pages and squires straight anymore.”

Petyr smirked. “Lord Renly seems to have no problem keeping his squires straight...at least not _this_  one.”

“Is that so,” Robert retorted snidely while studying Renly’s face for a moment, watching it change different shades of red. Robert knew what his brother’s proclivities were. As much as Renly tried to deny it, Robert had known which way his brother leaned for quite some time now. No young man as handsome as his little brother would be without a female on his arm for this long unless he _chose_  not to have a female on his arm.

“Yes, Your Grace,” Petyr began again. “Before you arrived the little squire was just showing us the nameday gift that your brother so graciously bestowed upon him,” gesturing toward the sword on Loras’s hip.

“Valerian steel - quite an extravagant gift to give one’s squire, wouldn’t you say Your Grace?” Varys exclaimed as Robert glared down the table at Renly.

Renly could feel his face redden even more – a strange mix of embarrassment and rage. They were in HIS home, on HIS land...how dare they throw their snide remarks and false accusations around. His feelings for Loras were that of a little brother and nothing more.

Renly rose up from his chair, his hands on the table as he leaned forward – glaring at each man in attendance. “You will NOT come to Storm’s End and insinuate any such lies. This is MY home, in case any of you have forgotten!”

“Storms End was _given_  to you! By me in fact!” Robert bellowed as he rose out of his chair and pounded his fist on the table. “Perhaps I should’ve given it to Stannis as you’ve never fought a day in your life and probably never will. I doubt you could even hold your own against _him_ in a fight,” gesturing towards Loras.

“That’s not true, Your Highness!” Loras shouted. “He bests me all the time when we joust! He’s taught me almost everything I know! You should see how he...”

“Loras! Enough!” Renly shouted as he shook his head at Loras, telling him to stop. Renly knew what Loras was trying to do, but spewing forth a bunch of lies on his behalf would not help. Robert certainly wasn’t stupid enough to believe that he could beat anybody in a match, much less Loras – who was already becoming known across Storm’s End and beyond for being extremely gifted with talent.

Loras stopped speaking dead in his tracks, realizing his contradicting the king would not go over well. He swallowed hard as the sudden silence in the room was deafening. Each man at the table turned their eyes toward Robert. The king stood straight up and glared at Loras. Loras felt a knot form in his throat and he could hear his heart pounding through his ears. Robert took several steps forward until he was directly in front of the young squire, staring down at him. Robert was a large man - a frightening and unpredictable man, and Loras felt so small as he towered above him, uncertain as to what he was going to do.

Renly shifted on his feet, ready to jump into action if need be. He had witnessed his brother’s treatment of others who dared to defy him in the past and it never ended well.

Suddenly, and to everyone’s surprise, Robert burst into a loud roar of laughter. Putting a hand on Loras’s shoulder and shaking him a bit violently, he then turned to Renly and loudly exclaimed, “This kid has balls of iron! Just what the Kingsguard needs more of!”  Loras let out a small smile of relief and steadied himself on his feet as Robert drunkenly shook him a few seconds longer.

The Small Council members all nodded and agreed with Robert, as was expected of them. But it was Renly who heaved a huge sigh of relief. Clearly the large amount of wine Robert had consumed had turned him jovial as opposed to sadistic. You never knew what you were going to get with Robert, and Loras probably didn’t even realize how close he came to being either violently thrown across the room or possibly tossed in the dungeon to learn his lesson. Storm’s End was Renly’s home, but King Robert outranked him no matter where they were.

Still laughing, Robert released his grip on Loras and made his way back to the table. “All right – enough of this nonsense. Let’s get back to the matters at hand.”

The tension eased as the meeting resumed and hour after tedious hour wore on. Plans were discussed and written down, then torn up and revisited again and again. Loras could feel his legs getting numb from standing so long, and every now and then his eyes would become so heavy that they would begin to close. He would snap them open as soon as he realized what he was doing, but it was becoming more and more difficult. Loras could feel his head begin to fall forward...if he could just...stay awake....a little longer...

_**SMASH!!!** _

The loud noise jolted Loras awake and startled the entire small council members. Loras looked down to see that he had dropped the crystal pitcher of wine and that it had smashed into a hundred pieces.

“Stupid boy! What are you, an idiot?” Robert bellowed.

Loras looked quickly at Renly and nervously shouted “I’m sorry!”

“It’s okay,” Renly said calmly as he stood up. “We’ll clean it up.” Two of the kitchen servants came running in at the sound of the crash and helped Loras clean up the broken glass and wipe up the puddle of wine on the floor. Loras then ran to find another pitcher and filled it with wine so that King Robert would not be without it a second longer than necessary. Loras resumed his place again at the end of the table near Robert, but he was visibly shaken, breathing heavy and his hands were trembling.

“Loras,” Renly began, “Put the pitcher on the table and go sit down for a few minutes,” as he motioned to a couch on the other side of the room, with Loras obeying the command.

“Your squire falls asleep on the job, destroys a crystal pitcher, not to mention all the wine inside it, and you discipline him by having him retire to a couch to rest?” Robert snarled, looking at Renly with disbelief. “If that was my squire he’s be thrown down in the dungeon for a few weeks to teach him how to behave!”

“Well he’s NOT your squire, he’s MINE! It’s after midnight and he’s been standing for over six hours now. I don’t see the point in insisting on child labor at this time of night when we’re all clearly capable of pouring our own wine.” Renly’s voice trailed off at the end, not wanting to rattle Robert any further. “Let’s just finish up so everyone can retire for the night, shall we?” Renly offered hopefully.

Petyr huffed and shook his head at Varys, each exchanging side glances. The meeting then proceeded on for another 30 minutes before even Robert himself had to admit he was exhausted. They adjourned the meeting and each man filed out – finally. Renly breathed a sigh of relief as he turned around to relieve Loras of his duties for the night.

“Loras, you can go to bed now...” but he stopped short, seeing that the slumped over squire had already fallen fast asleep on the couch and had not heard a word he said. He walked over to gently shake Loras up, but to no avail – he was out cold. Renly looked around for a bit of help, but there wasn’t a servant to be found as they had all retired for the night. He contemplated simply leaving him there on the couch for the night. He would be just fine there of course, and decided to do just that. Renly began to walk out of the room, but then reconsidered. He turned around and decided he would just place Loras in his bed himself. He walked over to the couch, bent over and scooped the boy up, discovering he barely weighed anything.

Renly proceeded to make his way down the long corridors. As he got to the squire’s chamber he kicked the door open with his foot, walked in and set the boy down on his bed, with Loras barely even stirring as he did so. After removing the sword and its holder from Loras’s waistband, he tugged each boot off and then grabbed the blanket from the foot of the bed and covered him up. Renly stood there for a moment, looking down at the sleeping boy. His squire had certainly caused quite a bit of chaos and upheaval at the council meeting that evening. Renly would have to reprimand him tomorrow about speaking out of turn to Robert, that was certain. Loras had no idea how close he came to having Robert’s full wrath unleashed upon him. It was always one step forward and two steps back with Loras it seemed. But the boy tried so hard and Renly smiled knowing why his squire had spoken out of turn. Loras had his back – as a squire should.

Renly blew out the candle beside Loras’s bed and made his way to the door. He closed it quietly and made his way back to his own chambers. Loras may not have all the tact and social skills necessary to conduct himself in the harsh political world just yet, and he certainly did not know how to handle Robert yet, but Renly knew where the boy’s loyalties lay. Renly entered his chamber and for the first time in his life, he felt like he actually had someone in his corner and on his side...and it was the most comforting feeling he could ever recall having.


	7. Figurines

Loras sat against the headboard of his bed, face red and arms folded across his chest, still fuming at the scolding he had just received. Immediately after breakfast Lord Renly had summoned him to his chambers, sat him down, and proceeded to recount the events of the Small Council meeting the night before and everything that Loras had done wrong - but the main topic being his speaking out of turn with King Robert.

Loras hated being “spoken to.” It did not matter if it came from his father or grandmother, or from Lord Renly himself. Loras didn’t take correction or disapproval very well.

Loras reached under his bed to retrieve the soft velvet sack that he had brought with him to Storm’s End when he first left Highgarden two years ago. He opened the bag and dumped out all the small wooden figurines that had been so carefully made for him. They were miniature replicas of brave knights – some standing with swords or shields, some kneeling, some with the ability to be positioned on top of the many wooden horses that were in the collection as well. Loras and Margaery had spent countless hours playing with the carvings as children and Loras had decided to take them with him to Storm’s End as a remembrance of home and a comfort item. He hadn’t felt the need to take them out and touch them in several months, but today – after the dressing down he had just received - today he did.

Loras began arranging the horses and knights on his bed when he heard a knock on his chamber door. Lord Renly entered, not giving Loras enough time to gather up all the items and place them back in the bag.

“Well – what do we have here?” Renly asked with a smile as Loras tried to shove a horse and knight into the sack, quite unsuccessfully. “Where on earth did you get these toys?” he asked.

“They’re NOT toys!” Loras shouted. “They’re figurines!” he huffed, highly insulted at the suggestion that someone of his age would actually waste his time with toys.

Renly sat down at the foot of the bed and picked one up to study it, marveling at the intricate detail and love that had clearly been carved into each one. “These are incredible Loras – somebody must have spent hours carving out each one of these.” There had to be at least 20 different pieces in the collection. “Who made these for you?” he asked, picking up another to inspect.

“My maester – back at Highgarden. He would always make me a new one when I completed a new lesson level – to keep me focused,” Loras said quietly, embarrassed that Renly had discovered his secret collection from home.

“The detail on these is amazing. Your maester must have loved you very much to spend such time and attention on these,” Renly surmised.

Loras’s eyes lit up a bit as he was always happy to talk about anything related to Highgarden. “Some of these are Margaery’s” he said as he picked up a female carving that had long hair, a delicate face, a decorative hooped dressed, and was holding a rose. He held it out to show Renly. “Maester Rolan made this one to look just like Margaery and she would always use this one when we would pla...,” he stopped short. “I mean...when we would look at them together,” Loras concluded with his voice trailing off.

Renly smiled knowingly as he took the female figure and studied it. “She’s beautiful,” and handed her back to Loras. He placed his hands on his thighs, holding back a grin.

“Why are you here anyway? Did you forget to yell at me about something else?” Loras asked coldly.

“Now Loras, you know perfectly well I didn’t yell at you. I don’t even think I raised my voice once at you,” Renly began. “I simply needed for you to understand the seriousness of your speaking to Robert like that, that’s all. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to you.”

Loras looked up briefly before looking back down again at the wooden knight in his hand, still sulking.

“But no – that’s not why I came down to see you. I just wanted to let you know that I will be leaving quite soon for a short overnight trip. I will be back tomorrow and will see you then. So you have the entire day to do whatever you want – doesn’t that sound good?,” Renly asked brightly.

“You aren’t taking me?” Loras asked a bit disappointed. This had been the fourth time in the past six months that Renly had taken an overnight trip and left Loras home.

“No, Loras. I’m not taking you. It just a quick business meeting and I’d prefer you stay here at Storm’s End.”

“But why? I don’t understand? I’m your squire - I should always be at your side. What if you come upon somebody on the road who wants to harm you? You NEED me!” Loras pointed to himself, speaking loudly.

Renly tried to conceal a soft laugh. “Well, I appreciate your desire to take care of any roughians I might meet on the road, but I’ll be fine. I’m not going that far.”

“Are you punishing me because of last night?” Loras asked in a small voice, fiddling with a wooden horse.

“No, of course not. I don’t believe in punishment. I will see you tomorrow.” With that, Renly rose from the bed, patted Loras’s leg and made his way toward the door. “Enjoy your toys, Loras” he said over his shoulder as he closed the heavy door.

“They’re FIGURINES!!!” Renly heard him shout loudly from behind the closed door. He chuckled as he made his way down the hall, back to his own chamber to finish readying for his trip.

***************************************************  


Not long after Renly had left his room Loras heard the gallop of a horse beneath his window. He got off his bed and looked out to see Renly trotting Nellie down the road that lead out of Storm’s End.

“Hmmph,” Loras huffed to himself. “I didn’t want to go on any stupid business meeting anyway.” He headed downstairs, trying to decide what to do with an entire day that was suddenly all to himself. He decided to he would try to find the stablekeeper’s son and see if he wanted to go swimming with him. As he headed down the servants’ corridor he came upon the kitchen. As he approached further, he could hear two women speaking in hushed voices and Loras decided to stop for a moment and listen.

“He has been going much more frequently as of late, hasn’t he?” said the first female.

“Yes, he has. I do hope he’s being discreet about it,” said the second female. “

“Well, as long as you keep your mouth shut, Lord Renly will have nothing to worry about. It would do none of us any good if Robert found out where he is going and who he is seeing.”

Loras surmised that Renly had been sneaking away from Storm’s End because he was meeting somebody...a girl he imagined. But why keep that a secret, especially from him? Loras headed out the servant’s entrance undetected by the kitchen staff, pleased that he had figured out why Renly had been leaving so frequently lately. Tomorrow upon Renly’s return, Loras would confront him and insist upon knowing all the details about his secret new girlfriend.


	8. Unpure Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renly begins to realize that Loras isn't a little boy any longer.

The following day Loras busied himself until Renly’s arrival back at Storm’s End. It was almost nightfall when the Lord of Storm’s End finally returned. After tending to and securing Renly’s horse, Loras proceeded to make his way to Renly’s chamber to find out more about this mystery woman and Renly's secretiveness.

Loras knocked on the chamber door and entered. Renly was standing in front of his dresser removing a few rings from his fingers. “I know what you were doing last night. And it wasn’t a business meeting,” Loras began matter-of-factly.

Renly’s face turned instantly red. “And how do you know that?” he asked slowly.

“I...well...I heard one of the servants talking. But it’s okay. You can tell me. You can tell me _anything_ ,” assured the squire.

“Well...uh....” Renly began to stammer a bit, not exactly sure how to proceed. “What _exactly_  do you know?” he asked.

“I know that you went to meet someone,” Loras offered.

Renly nodded his head in agreement.

“A girl! You went to see a girl, didn’t you?” Loras proclaimed, feeling quite proud of himself that he had figured it out on his own. A small grin spread across Renly’s face. “And you need to take me next time so I can meet her. You need my advise...I can tell you if she’s good enough for you or not,” Loras exclaimed happily.

“Really?” Renly said, trying to hold back an outright belly laugh at the irony of it all. A young squire, completely inexperienced with women himself, offering relationship advice regarding women to a gay man. “Well, we’ll see about that Loras...we’ll see.”

With that being settled, Loras got to work on his nightly ritual of helping prepare Renly to retire for the evening. He stood beside his Lord and began undoing the multiple laces and hooks on his many layers of clothing. Out of the corner of his eye Renly studied the squire in greater detail than he had ever before. “Have you gotten taller, Loras?” he asked. The squire, who just two years ago had barely reached his chest, was now at the height of his chin.

“Huh? I don’t know – maybe. Why, do I look taller?” Loras asked hopefully.

“A bit, yes,” Renly replied. Loras tugged away at a particularly difficult lacing on Renly’s coat, giving the older man some time to study the squire’s face. He was certainly growing into a handsome young man – nobody could deny that. He examined Loras’s cheek that was only a few inches away from his own face – he would probably be shaving before too long. When he had first arrived, his round boyish face still retained a bit of baby fat in his cheeks – with Renly only now realizing how it had slimmed, giving him a much more mature angle to his face. The little boy that had arrived just two years ago had certainly made some transformations right before Renly’s eyes, but he hadn’t really noticed any of them until now.

Renly grew slightly uncomfortable at the sudden thoughts going through his head. He could feel Loras’s breath on his neck as he continued to work at the stubborn lacing and he could smell the scent of Loras’s long golden hair under his nose. Renly desperately tried to push the unpure thoughts out of his head, a difficult task as they were standing so closely to one another. His thoughts for Loras had always been completely pure – like those towards a little brother, so why this sudden change in perception of the squire at this particular moment had Renly somewhat unsettled.

“There! I got it!” Loras proclaimed, proudly showing the offending lace who was boss. Loras began to remove the coat when Renly stopped him.

“It’s fine Loras – really. I think I’m just going to finish undressing myself tonight. You can take your leave now, thank you.”

“But I always help you undress. I have to hang up your cloak and coat and take your shirt to be washed and...”

“No! I’ll take care of it myself tonight!,” Renly said, a little more harshly than he had intended. “I’m just tired, that’s all. Goodnight Loras.” Loras walked slowly to the door, not exactly sure why he was being dismissed before completing his task of tending to Renly, but obeying the command to leave nonetheless.

Once alone, Renly finished undressing himself and hung up his coat...a task he hadn’t performed for himself in quite some time. He stood in front of his dresser and splashed some cold water onto his face from the basin. He splashed himself a second time, hoping it would somehow wash away the improper thoughts swirling through his head. He could hear the first sounds of distant rumblings of thunder rolling in. It sounded like Storm’s End would be receiving another one of her famous storms before the night was through.

Renly grabbed a book and slid into bed, but try as he might he couldn’t focus on the words in front of him. After reading the same paragraph over a dozen times he closed the book with a sigh. A large streak of lightening lit up the black sky, followed by a large crackle of thunder. Renly sat back against the propped up pillows. He knew that within a minute or two Loras would be at his chamber door. It was a habit that he had permitted two years ago when the then 12-year-old was afraid to sleep alone during thunder storms. Renly was just now beginning to regret having let the practice begun in the first place. Loras was certainly too old now and Renly could only imagine how many servants had raised an eyebrow at it as well, although none of them had been bold enough to speak of it for fear of losing their job.

And just as Renly had suspected, within one minute Loras was knocking at the bedroom door. Loras never bothered to wait for the _“Come in”_ anymore – he just knocked and entered, knowing that his relationship with Renly would allow that bit of informality between them when they were alone.

Before Renly could protest, Loras quickly scampered across the room and leaped into the bed, as he had so many other stormy nights over the past two years. Renly heaved a large sigh before he began to speak. “Loras? I think we need to change this practice of you staying with me during thunderstorms. You’re 14 years old now.”

Loras blinked a few times from beneath the blankets. “But why?”

“Why do you have to question everything, Loras? Because I said so!” Renly’s voice was harsh and Loras wasn’t quite sure what had suddenly changed between them. “You’re always reminding me how you are not a child anymore...so this would be the perfect opportunity to demonstrate that.”

Loras sat up in the bed, startled at the sharpness of Renly’s words and unsure what had happened to make him suddenly angry at the innocent little tradition that they had been doing for two years. He blinked his eyes quickly to prevent the sting of tears that he felt just starting to burn.

“Why are you mad at me?” he asked softly. “I told you I was sorry about the Small Council meeting...”

Renly cut him off. “This has nothing to do with that. It’s just that...people talk. Somebody might see you leaving my chamber in the morning.”

Loras blinked again, trying to process what the problem was - as he could see none. “But...we’re just sleeping.”

“I know that, Loras. But the other servants may not know that. Do you understand what I’m trying to say?” Renly certainly hoped he did as he didn’t want to be any more explicit than he needed to be.

Loras shook his head to indicate that he understood. He stepped out of bed and began to walk toward the door just as another crash of thunder and lightening lit up the sky. Renly saw the jolt of surprise and fear ripple through the squire’s body. He felt a pang of guilt surge through him as he watched Loras’s hand reach for the handle of the door. Renly knew Loras had no idea what was going on in his head right now – and that was _his_ problem, not Loras’s.

Renly spoke softly from the bed. “Loras, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap at you – I just have a lot on my mind right now. Look – you can stay for an hour or two, but not the entire night. Does that sound fair?”

Loras turned around, nodded, and returned to his place in the bed. Renly turned on his side facing away from Loras, trying to figure out what was going on in his own head. He could sense his feelings for Loras were suddenly changing and he hated himself for it. Loras’s father had entrusted his son into his care and for the past two years Renly had certainly lived up to those expectations – he had exceeded them in fact. Mace Tyrell spoke of Renly Baratheon with the highest regard. But he wondered what Mace would have to say if he had any idea what thoughts were in his head right now. And for all the physical changes that had occurred in Loras’s body over the past couple of years, he was still somewhat of a child, Renly tried to convince himself - an immature child.

In exactly two hours Renly gave Loras a gentle nudge to awaken him. The squire then silently returned to his own room, the storm having already passed through Storm’s End.


	9. A Half-Confession

Loras was busy with his daily chores and duties, still trying to figure out the sudden personality change in Renly from the night before, when he heard the loud, familiar bellow of King Robert wafting through the corridors of the home. His voice was coming from Renly’s chambers. Loras wasn’t sure how long Robert had been there, but he was clearly angry about something.

Loras crept a little closer to the door in an attempt to figure out what Robert was so irate about. He could only make out a few words here and there – something about disgracing the Baratheon name, strange proclivities, and not being discreet. In between Robert’s ranting and raving he could hear Renly trying to get a word in edgewise, but to not much avail. Loras ducked around the corner as soon as he saw the door to Renly’s chamber fly open as Robert exited and stormed off. He waited a few minutes until he heard Robert’s horse riding away and then knocked on Renly’s door.

Loras stepped inside to see a clearly distraught Renly pacing around the room, running his hands through his hair, only stopping upon seeing Loras standing in the doorway. “What is it, Loras?!” he snapped at him.

“I...uh...I heard Robert yelling. Is everything okay? Is he still mad at me?” the squire asked.

“No – this has nothing to do with you. Go back to whatever you were doing.”

“No – I can help! Tell me what to do to help.”

“There’s NOTHING you can do to help, Loras! Nothing!”, Renly screamed before slumping down in a chair and holding his head in his hands.

Loras blinked a few times. Renly had never yelled at him before. The squire was unsure what to do, having never seen his Lord this upset. Renly was generally easy-going and took on every problem with a positive attitude – but he was clearly beside himself at this moment. Loras considered leaving him alone, then decided that perhaps the best thing he could do would be to stay – just to let Renly know that somebody was there and he wasn’t alone.

Loras walked toward the chair that Renly was in and, without another chair being available, settled down on the floor at his feet. Renly lifted his head from his hands and, upon looking up, mustered a small smile as the squire who sat looking up at him.

“What wrong, My Lord?” he asked. “You can tell me anything...I’m your squire.”

Renly sat back in his chair for a moment before speaking. “Robert is furious at me. Apparently somebody recognized me the other night when I was away and they told Robert.” There was a quiver and catch in Renly’s voice that Loras had never heard before.

“Why would Robert be angry? You went to see a girl, didn’t you? That should make him happy,” the squire asked, not understanding the full brevity of the situation.

“It’s not what you think, Loras. I...I went to a brothel,” Renly finally admitted, somewhat ashamed.

“A brothel?!” Loras half-shouted from surprise. “But why? You’re highborn and there are dozens of girls right here in Storm’s End that would give their right arm to spend a night with you!”

Renly shook his head. “You don’t understand, Loras. You’re too young to understand. I’ve told you far more than I should have. I know you’re concerned and I appreciate that, but let’s just leave it at that, please?” Renly asked with sad eyes. The room was too dim to be completely certain, but Loras thought that the other man’s eyes looked somewhat tearful. Not wanting to upset him any further, Loras decided he would forego any further questions about the brothel or the argument with Robert for the time being. He scooted himself in between Renly’s legs and placed his head on the older man’s left thigh and wrapped both arms around his calf. It was the kindest, most comforting gesture Renly had ever experienced. He took his hand and gently placed it on the top of Loras’s head, lightly stroking his long curls.

“It will be all right, My Lord. You’ll see,” Loras offered quietly.

“I hope so, Loras. I truly hope so.”   Renly looked down at his squire who had also become his closest friend.  Things were changing, for better or worse, and there was no denying it.  Loras was becoming older and would certainly be able to piece things together for himself soon enough.  Renly sighed and took a deep breath, being grateful for Loras's presence and friendship, and fearful that before too long he might lose it.  


	10. The Weirwood Tree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renly decides to tell the truth to Loras.

Renly stepped outside on the grounds, hoping a walk and some fresh air would help clear his head. The past several days had been difficult. Between his brother being enraged at him and the snide remarks he had been receiving from various Small Council members, all he had wanted to do was to hide away in his chamber and not come out. He had even sent Loras away when he arrived at his room in the mornings and evenings to attend to him – not wanting to face his squire either. Whatever sexual tension had begun to stir inside Renly, he would just have to learn to handle that himself. Loras could never know of it.

Renly began to walk down a small path at the edge of the woodlands that was very familiar to him. He had traveled this path hundreds of times as a child. It was his own personal retreat – a path that lead deep into the woods where, as a child, he could escape his two older brothers when they were being particularly cruel and unkind to him. It lead to a place of quiet, comfort and solitude, and it was the only place that he truly felt at peace with himself.

“My Lord!” Renly stopped and turned around to see Loras running down the path towards him. “Where are you going?” he said once finally catching up. “Can I come with you?”

Renly sighed and smiled. “I’m just taking a walk to clear my head, Loras. Why don’t you stay here.”

“But I want to go with you?” the squire pleaded.

“You don’t understand, Loras. I...I want to be alone...so I can think. I’m just not in the mood for conversation,” Renly stated.

Loras, clearly not taking the hint, started down the path towards the woods. “That’s fine. I’ll be quiet as a mouse – I promise.”

Renly rolled his eyes and lightly huffed, but decided not to press the issue any further. As long as Loras remained quiet he could come. The two entered the woods and the narrow path took them deeper and deeper. Loras had not realized that the property extended back this far.

“Hey! Where are we going? How come you never told me about this path anyway?” Loras asked excitedly.

Renly shot him a look, causing Loras to immediately stop talking, having already forgotten his promise to remain quiet. After a while of walking in complete silence the heavy trees thinned out and they came out to a large grassy area. In the center of this lush green spot was a very large and old weirwood tree. Loras looked up at the enormous tree and then turned toward Renly, hoping for an explanation of why they were there, but knowing his promise of silence prohibited him from asking.

Renly could sense the inquisitive nature of Loras. “I suppose you’re wondering why I came all the way out here, aren’t you Loras?”

Loras shook his head yes, not sure if his vow of silence was still in effect.

“When I was a little boy,” Renly started, “I discovered this tree. I would walk through the woods when I needed to get away from Robert and Stannis – just to be alone. I would climb up this weirwood and sit on one of those branches up there...just pretending I was a bird. I thought if I pretended hard enough maybe I could fly away someday.”

Loras stared at Renly’s face as he stared up at the high branches, clearly lost in a far away, sad childhood memory.

“And then when my parents died...I came out here even more. It was the only place I felt any peace or happiness. I hated being home. Nobody ever understood me...nobody could ever accept that I was...” Renly halted for a second before he finished – “Different.”

Loras tried to comprehend the loneliness that Renly must have felt growing up – losing both his parents so young and not being close with his brothers. Renly was raised by servants more so than his own family. It was such a stark contrast to how Loras grew up – feeling very much loved and accepted. Loras felt a stabbing pain of sadness in his heart for his Lord and friend.

“So I still come here to this very day when I need to think and clear my head,” Renly continued on. “I’ve had a lot on my mind the past few days, between Robert and...” Renly stopped himself before confessing anything further.

“Do you still climb it?” Loras asked hopefully, stepping closer to the tree and looking up at the branches. He placed his hands on a low branch as if contemplating shimmying up it himself.

Renly laughed out loud – for the first time in several days. “No, I don’t climb this tree anymore. I haven’t for several years now. But you can if you’d like to.”

Loras gleamed at having been given permission and quickly pulled himself up. He climbed the old weirwood until he found a branch to his liking and then settled down on it. He could see the tops of ships that were docked at the coastline, as well as some grassy hills, far away mountains, and scattered buildings that looked so very small in the distance. “Whoa – you can see EVERYTHING from up here!” he exclaimed. He could see why from this vantage point a young Renly would have wished to have the ability to fly. From up here, Storm’s End was beautiful as far as the eye could see. “You should come up here with me!” Loras yelled down to his friend below.

Renly shook his head. “Grown lords do not climb trees. Come on down now, Loras. I don’t want you falling out and breaking your neck. It’s a long walk back to the castle if I have to carry you,” he laughed slightly. Loras skillfully climbed down, branch by branch, until finally reaching close enough to the ground that he could jump the rest of the way. He brushed the dirt and tree bark from his hands. “Thank you for showing me your tree,” he smiled brightly.

“You know,” Renly paused as he thought, “I’ve never shown this tree to anybody else before. Only you.”

“Really?” Loras smiled, feeling quite special at being the only one who knew of Renly’s secret place.

“Well, we should really start heading back. It will be nightfall soon,” Renly stated as he turned to head back toward the path.

“Wait,” Loras called out. “There’s something I’ve wanted to ask you, but you wouldn’t see me for the last few days, so I couldn’t.” Loras took a moment to collect his thoughts before proceeding. The last few days he had nothing but time on his hands since Renly refused his services. With all that time, Loras had been piecing together the various conversations of King Robert, comments by the Small Council members, and even statements made by Renly himself on multiple occasions over the past two years. Little by little things were just now beginning to make sense to Loras, but he had to know for certain. He was tired of guessing and assuming...he wanted to ask and he wanted an honest answer in return.

Loras swallowed hard before speaking, hoping that his question didn’t offend his Lord. He knew as a squire his question was out of line, but Renly was also his friend and Loras felt he had the right to know.

Renly stood silently, waiting for his squire to speak. He already knew what the question would be before Loras had even asked it.

“Do you like girls?” Loras asked, very softly. So softly in fact that if Renly hadn’t already known what the question was going to be, he might have needed him to repeat it.

Renly smiled softly. Loras wasn’t a child anymore, if Renly’s recent feelings toward him were any indication. What point would it serve in carrying on the charade any longer?

“No, Loras. I _don't_ like girls,” was the answer.

Loras nodded his head, indicating his acceptance of the answer as he had known already. The two headed down the path, back to the castle in complete silence.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be the last one that warrants a more PG rating. Chapters from here on in will be under the Mature/Explicit category.


	11. Crossing the Line

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature/Explicit category from this chapter forward. Please note the "Period Typical Underage" tag.

Loras placed his sword down and headed back into the castle to get some water, his jousting practice over for the day. The past few weeks had been particularly uncomfortable. Ever since Renly had confessed to him that he had no desire towards females, Loras had noticed he had kept his distance. He had allowed Loras into his chambers for some of his daily tasks, but there was an awkward silence between them now, whereas before they would chat and talk the entire time. Loras was saddened at the sudden change in their friendship and hoped it wouldn’t last much longer. Renly had become his best friend – whether Renly knew that or not – and Loras missed the closeness that they had once shared.

After washing up a bit and changing, Loras headed down to Renly’s bedroom chamber in hopes of speaking with him. He knocked and entered, only to find the room empty. Renly had not told him of any meetings or trips for the day, so he was unsure where he could be. After checking the other areas of the house, walking around the property and checking the stable, Loras thought he might know where Renly had escaped to.

Loras walked down the long path that Renly had showed him a few weeks prior. He eventually came to the clearing and there he saw Renly sitting under the weirwood tree, his head bowed down, obviously deep in thought. Loras stepped back, deciding to return to the castle and let Renly think in peace. Just then he heard the loud _'SNAP'_  of a twig underneath his boot, startling Renly who lifted his head.

“I’m sorry, My Lord. I didn’t mean to bother you. I just didn’t know where you were and I thought...I’m sorry...I’ll go back now,” Loras stammered.

“No, it’s okay. Come and sit down,” Renly offered. “I’ve been wanting to talk to you.” Loras walked over and sat down beside Renly, leaning his back up against the tree. Renly began again. “I’m not sure how long you’ve truly known what my preferences are, but I’ll understand if you don’t want to stay on any longer. If you want to go back to Highgarden, I can arrange that for you at once.”

Loras looked a bit confused. “No, I don’t want to leave. I love being your squire. Why would I want to leave? It doesn’t change anything.”

“Doesn’t it?” Renly asked, slightly shifting his position, staring intently into the squire’s eyes. “When most people find out, they’re uncomfortable. Then they want nothing to do with me. They call me names like ‘pillow biter’ and ‘sword swallower’ behind my back and think that it doesn’t bother me. My own brothers are disappointed and uncomfortable around me – why wouldn’t you be?” Renly’s eyes were intense with a combination of hurt and anger at seemingly forever have to explain himself to people who didn’t understand him.

“Because it doesn’t matter to me,” Loras began. “You’re still the same person I met two years ago when I first came to Storm’s End. You’ve always been kind to me. You’re still my friend...my BEST friend,” Loras said sincerely.

Renly stifled a small choke. Nobody had ever said anything as kind as that to him upon finding out his sexual orientation. He smiled as he processed the words Loras had delivered, feeling a sense of relief that their friendship had not been completely lost.

“I’m glad to hear that. But I imagine you must have some questions for me, am I right?” Renly asked. Loras nodded. He had a lot of questions if he was honest. “I figured as much. So, Loras, what can I answer for you?”

“The brothel...you went to see a man, right?” Loras asked.

“Yes.”

“And that’s why King Robert was so angry with you?”

“Yes. His preference is for nobody outside the immediate family to know that I have tainted the Baratheon name,” Renly stated with a touch of sarcasm.

“How old were you when you...um...when you knew?” Loras asked.

Renly thought for a moment. “I’m not sure exactly. A bit younger than you are now though. But I think my entire family knew before I did,” he laughed softly at the recollection. “Stannis always reminds me how I used to dress up in capes and silks and prance through the hallways of the castle, pretending I was somebody else, while the other boys were off jousting and fighting.” Loras smiled to himself at the mental image of Renly as a child running through the halls. “I think they all knew long before I was ready to admit it to myself,” he stated softly.

Loras shifted his position on the grass, not sure how many more questions he could politely ask. “Have you ever...you know, tried to be with a woman – just to see if....maybe...”

Renly chuckled a bit. “Sure, of course. A few times, in fact. I thought that maybe, if I just slept with a woman once or twice, maybe I could learn to enjoy it – or at least tolerate it. It certainly would have made my life a whole lot easier, but it just never felt right to me.”

“Hmm hmm,” Loras replied and nodded. “So...so what are you going to do? If you find somebody that you truly love, you can’t tell anyone about it.”

“That’s right. I would have to keep it completely hidden,” Renly stated. “Well, as hidden as I possibly can. There would always be the servants and my brothers who would eventually find out – no matter how much of a secret I tried to keep it. But beyond that – nobody could _ever_ know.”

Loras nodded in his understanding. “But that’s sad. You could never marry him – no matter how much you loved him. It’s very, very sad.”

Renly sighed softly. “Yes, it is. It’s very sad.” Loras watched as Renly put his head down and cradled it in his two hands, similar to how he sat the other night after Robert’s berating. He hated seeing his friend feeling beat down and disheartened. Loras put his arm over Renly’s shoulders and squeezed him. “Have you met someone yet? Someone that you love? You can tell me if you have,” Loras asked. “You can tell me anything.”

Renly choked again slightly as he lifted his head up and looked into his squire’s blue eyes. Loras’s lips were so close to his own and before he even realized what he was doing, his desire and need took over and he pressed his lips against Loras’s. He felt the boy startle, clearly not having expected that. Renly pulled back quickly, rather ashamed. “I’m sorry Loras – I shouldn’t have done that. I crossed the line...I won’t ever...”

Loras cut him off – “No, it’s okay,” he said softly. “I...I’m glad you did.”

Renly, taken aback for a moment, had to process what his squire had just said. “Do YOU like girls, Loras?”

Loras shrugged. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I like yet. Sometimes I think girls are just too silly and giggly. But I’ve never kissed a girl...never kissed anybody, so...so I don’t know.”

Renly felt his pulse rate quicken. Every emotion in his body was telling him that he loved Loras and wanted him, but his head was telling him that it was wrong. To break the Lord/squire relationship would be wrong. Not to mention Loras was still somewhat immature and naïve – clearly unsure of his own sexual orientation just yet. Conflicting thoughts began racing so fast through Renly’s head that he felt dizzy. And all the while Loras was staring back at him with those eyes – the most beautiful ocean-blue eyes he had ever seen on another person – male OR female. Renly reached out with his left hand and touched Loras’s cheek, lightly brushing it with the pad of his thumb.

“But it would be wrong to kiss you Loras, wouldn’t it?” Renly asked, not quite sure who he was trying to convince more - Loras or himself. Loras shrugged and cocked his head slightly, causing several golden locks of curls to fall over his right eye. He continued to stare into Renly’s eyes, clearly waiting for him to make the next move. Renly’s eyes darted from Loras’s eyes to his lips and then back again – not completely sure if what he was about to do would be the biggest mistake of his life – or the best thing that could have ever happened to him.

Renly leaned in and kissed his squire again, but this time Loras didn’t startle as he had before. He felt Loras place his arms around his neck, allowing Renly to pull him in closer. He held Loras tight with one arm around the waist, while cradling his head with the other. He placed light, gentle kisses along the squire’s neck and collarbone as he took in the scent of his long hair before returning to Loras’s lips. Renly gently placed his tongue into Loras’s mouth and felt him startle again. The squire pulled back a bit, slightly embarrassed at his inexperience. “I...I’m sorry. I don’t know how to do that,” Loras said under his breath, a touch of pink rising in his cheeks.

“Do you want me to show you how? Or would you rather I not?” Renly asked, giving Loras the opportunity to change his mind and say no if wanted to.

“Uh huh, yes,” Loras nodded and smiled. “Show me.”

Renly took Loras’s face in his hands and gently placed his tongue inside the squire’s mouth, darting it in and out, letting it wander and explore. Loras was a fast learner, as he had proven time and time again over his stay at Storm’s End, and before long he was mimicking the tongue movements that Renly had demonstrated for him.

Loras explored his Lord’s mouth with his own tongue, experiencing the warmth and wetness of it for the first time. He felt an awakening of desire inside him – something he never really experienced before now. Not so long ago he was wrinkling his nose up at the unpleasant sight of people kissing at the parties Renly was forced to attend, but here he was now, completely enraptured in the feeling of Renly’s kiss. He felt the older man’s strong hands on his body, felt his breath on his skin, and felt the closeness between them.

Tired of the uncomfortable position of sitting up against the tree, Renly took Loras by the shoulders and gently laid him down on the grass. He covered Loras’s body with his own, being careful to bear some of his own weight so as not to crush his thin squire completely. Loras allowed the change of position, content to have Renly in control. He drank in the new sensations flowing through his body – Renly’s kisses, his soft tongue, his firm hands exploring parts of his body that he had never dared to touch before. Loras could sense his heart racing and pulse quickening as he felt strange and new emotions that excited and frightened him both at the same time.

Loras could feel Renly’s kisses becoming rougher on his lips and could hear his breathing change to a heavier pant. Loras opened his eyes briefly and looked up at the sky that was just beginning to darken above him. He closed his eyes again as he felt Renly firmly press his pelvis against his. A small gasp escaped from Loras’s mouth as his body reacted to the stimulation. He felt Renly’s hand travel from his face, down across his chest, his stomach, and finally to the waist of his pants. He felt the lacings being tugged apart that were holding his pants closed.

Renly was grateful for the hardness he felt beneath Loras’s pants. It reassured him that Loras was completely willing and not simply going along just to please him. As he gave the lacings one final tug he opened up the waistband of the squire’s pants just enough to allow his fingers to slip in and gently brush the length of Loras’s hardness.

Suddenly Renly felt Loras’s entire body stiffen and saw his head jolt back as a loud groan escaped his throat. He then felt a warm, familiar wetness accumulate in between his fingers. He lifted his head and looked down to see that their first moment together had already ended – far too quickly than he would have preferred. Renly tried to hide his smile from Loras.

“Oh gods – I’m sorry. I’m SO sorry!” Loras blurted out. “That wasn’t supposed to happen like that, was it?” As inexperienced as Loras was, he was pretty sure he had crossed the finish line far too early.

Renly looked down and smiled fondly at the panicked and embarrassed squire. “It’s okay Loras. It’s okay,” he said reassuringly. He leaned over and brushed his lips against Loras’s forehead before reaching into his coat pocket and pulling out a handkerchief to clean the mess. He then quickly retied the lacing to Loras’s pants and helped pull him up to a standing position. His own needs would have to wait for another day given the unexpected circumstances.

Renly suddenly found himself at a loss for words. A line had been crossed that could never be undone and he silently prayed that Loras would not regret what had been done in the morning. Would he feel taken advantage of? Would he want to leave and return to Highgarden? Renly felt the familiar feeling of panic begin to take the place of what had just a few moments ago been complete and utter bliss.

“Well...uh...we should probably head back now,” Renly stammered, feeling suddenly uncomfortable.

Loras nodded his head in agreement and they headed down the path towards home. He watched as Renly darted ahead of him, clearly unsettled. But Loras was not – aside from the slight embarrassment of ending their first moment together a bit prematurely, he now had a feeling of contentment and gratification within him. He stared at Renly from behind – looking at him now in a completely different light than he had ever before. He had always liked Renly - from the first day he arrived at Storm’s End he liked him. But now he was looking at him through different eyes. He was no longer JUST his Lord and friend – they now shared something else – an intimate secret. Loras wasn’t exactly sure what he was feeling or where it would go, but he was willing to see where it would lead them. His love and affection for Renly had grown over the last two years and as much as Renly seemed hesitant about what had just happened, Loras was thoroughly excited about it.

Upon reaching the end of the path, Renly muttered something inaudible and quickly took his leave, leaving Loras standing alone at the clearing. Loras stood still for moment, smiling to himself. He had just entered the next chapter of his life - his life as a man, not a boy, and he was eager to see where it would lead.


	12. Right or Wrong

Loras stood in the stable brushing one of the horses and waiting for Renly to return home. He had been gone for several days with Robert on another dreaded hunting trip. Loras smiled to himself as he recalled how exasperated Renly was when he told him about it. Robert always sprung these trips on him without warning. This one happened so fast that he and Renly hadn’t even gotten a moment to talk to each other following their “moment” under the weirwood tree. But Renly was due home this evening and Loras was anxious to see him.

Loras heard the sound of hooves entering the property and could see the two Baratheon brothers arriving. King Robert looked rejuvenated and energized while Renly looked like he had been run over by a horse and carriage. Loras looked down to hide a small grin as he grabbed the reigns of Renly’s horse, allowing him to dismount. “Thank the gods I’m finally home,” he huffed, glaring at Robert who remained atop his own horse.

“Did you kill anything?” Loras cheerfully asked the pair.

“Oh, you should’ve seen everything we killed!,” Robert bellowed happily. “Well, that _I_ killed,” he corrected himself with a smirk aimed at his younger brother.

“We all know you love your killing, Robert. I’m sorry I don’t share the same passion for blood and guts as you do,” Renly replied. “If you’ll excuse me, I’m afraid I’m in desperate need of a bath after four fun-filled days of filth and slaughter.” Renly took off into the castle, leaving Loras and Robert to themselves.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with that boy sometimes,” Robert said shaking his head, looking down from his horse at Loras. “Nothing gets the blood pumping more than sticking a spear into something’s heart and watching it take its last breath and die right in front of your eyes!”

Loras nodded politely. “I’m sure.”

“Well, that and fucking a cheap whore!” Robert roared with laughter. “Killing and whores...it’s what keeps a man alive!”

“Are you heading home to King’s Landing to your wife and children now?” Loras asked, making sure to keep his tone innocent in nature and not judgmental.

“Bah! They’re not going anywhere. I’ll return to them tomorrow. Tonight I plan on riding a whore - maybe even two! You ought to try it Loras – a good looking lad like you...they’d be fighting over you at Littlefinger’s brothel. Gods know living here under _his_  roof you’ll never learn how to handle a female properly,” Robert snorted.

Loras shook his head. “No, thank you,” he said quietly.

“Well, suit yourself. If you ever change your mind you let me know. I know of a particularly good one who could teach you a thing or two - things your young mind probably never imagined. She could turn you into a man right quick!” Robert laughed and then turned away on his horse, taking the road out of Storm’s End and towards King’s Landing.

Loras shook his head as he watched Robert ride off. “Hypocrite,” Loras huffed under his breath. Robert could spend hours berating and ridiculing Renly about being “immoral,” and yet he was disgracing and humiliating his own wife after taking an oath before the gods to love and honor her, without even an ounce of regret about it.

Loras took Nellie’s reigns and lead her into the stable, watered and fed her, and then brushed her out. He wanted to give Renly enough time to bathe and calm himself after what he was sure was yet another horrid experience with Robert for four days. After what Loras surmised to be enough time, he made his way into the castle and to Renly’s bedroom chamber. He knocked and entered, finding Renly half-dressed, barefoot with just his pants on, not yet having had the time to put on a shirt and boots. Renly looked up, somewhat surprised.

“Oh, I’m sorry – I thought you’d be done by now. I can come back later,” Loras offered, silently hoping that Renly did not want him to leave.

“No, no, it’s fine. Stay. I want to talk to you. For four long days and nights I’ve been wanting to talk to you,” Renly chuckled. He had missed Loras – he had actually missed everything about Storm’s End. Storm’s End seemed like heaven while shivering in a tent each night, smelling the stench of dead boar carcasses, and having to hear Robert snore loudly through a drunken stupor for four nights. But mostly he missed Loras. If there was any upside to the time spent away, it was that it had given him time to think and come to grips with his feelings for Loras.

Loras laughed softly. “I’m sorry you have to go on those hunting trips. I know how much you hate them.”

“Yes, you do. You know a lot about me, Loras. I was just thinking about that the other night while lying in that stinking, blood-stained tent.” Renly stopped and looked at Loras affectionately. “You know more about me than my own brothers do,” he said quietly.

Loras nodded and waited for him to continue.

“You’ve been here over two years now,” Renly started. “You were just a child then, but so many things have changed. I’ve had a lot of time to think over the past four days. I...I thought a lot about you.”

“I thought about you too while you were gone,” Loras began. “And what happened out at the weirwood tree...I know things didn’t end the way they were supposed to and...and I’m really sorry.”

“No, Loras. There’s absolutely nothing for you to be sorry about,” Renly smiled at him. “If anything, I’m flattered.”

“I’ll do better the next time – I’m sure I will,” Loras offered.

Renly paused for a moment. “There probably _shouldn't_  be a next time. I mean, it’s not proper for a Lord to...to...to have that kind of relationship with his squire.”

“But that’s NOT what I want,” Loras stated while shaking his head. “I WANT there to be a next time!” he stated quite matter-of-factly. Renly was somewhat taken aback at the determination in his squire’s voice.

Loras boldly took a few steps forward and put his arms around Renly’s shoulders to embrace him tightly. He rested his cheek on Renly’s bare chest and felt the older man hesitate for a second before returning the embrace. Perhaps he was a little out of line with his decision to embrace Renly first he thought, but Loras knew that the moment they shared under that tree was special and he would never forget it. And if Renly was on the fence as to whether or not there should ever be a next time, Loras wanted to show him that he strongly disagreed.

Renly held Loras in his arms and it was in this moment that he realized the choice he made now would forever change his and Loras’s relationship. The honorable thing to do would be to pack the boy up and return him to Highgarden. But that isn’t what Renly wanted...what he wanted was Loras – in his arms, in his bed, and in his life. He wrestled with the choice inside his head until it felt like torture – a torture only made worse by the fact that Loras was currently in his arms, holding him tightly, nuzzling his head against his chest...making it so much more difficult. Renly’s love for him was genuine and the thought of rejecting Loras simply to prove that he could take the moral highroad seemed foolish. For the first time in his life he had found somebody who he adored, and better yet, someone who adored him back.

Loras looked up at him, sensing that his Lord was racked with a difficult dilemma. He could see Renly’s brow was furrowed and his eyes were deep in thought as he tried to decide how to proceed. The last thing Renly wanted to do was to hurt Loras or cause his life to be more difficult than it needed to be. And being Renly’s paramour would certainly make Loras’s life more difficult – that was a guarantee. Renly looked down into Loras’s questioning face that was clearly waiting for an answer. He looked into the eyes that once belonged to a little boy afraid of thunderstorms, but that now belonged to a young man that was growing into a brave knight right before him. The concept of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ beat against the inside of Renly’s brain like a hammer. How could he take Loras as his own knowing the difficulties he would be placing upon him, and yet how could he send away the only person he had ever truly loved?

Sensing the internal battle raging within Renly, Loras rose up on his toes to reach Renly’s mouth and placed a kiss on his lips, making sure he did it exactly as his Lord had shown him several days prior. He looked up at Renly through long-lashed lids, waiting for an answer.

Renly wasn’t sure if it was the gentle kiss or the expression on Loras’s face while doing it, but he was incapable of resisting him any longer. ' _To hell with being honorable!,'_   he thought to himself as he pulled Loras in hard for a kiss – a kiss far more intense than the one they had shared under the weirwood tree. He held the squire with a grip so tight that it was almost uncomfortable, but Loras didn’t object. Four nights in that tent with nothing but time to think about Loras and their moment under the tree had Renly in a state of desperate need. He slid his hands away from Loras’s back in order to undo the lacings on the squire’s shirt and then quickly pulled it off over his head. He looked down at the now bare-chested squire. He had seen him without his shirt too many times to count over the years, but this time was different. He ran his right hand up and down Loras’s chest, stopping briefly at his nipple to lightly stroke it. He heard Loras suck his breath in quickly as he reacted to this new kind of touch. Loras followed his lead and ran his own hands across his Lord’s bare chest...something he would have never dared to do before now.

Renly then backed Loras up until he was standing against the bed. “Lie down, Loras,” he whispered in his ear. Loras obeyed and scooted back across the large bed, a bit nervous and unsure of what was going to happen. Renly tugged off Loras’s boots and then climbed on top of him. His plan, if he could even call it that, was to just simply take everything a little bit slower this time in hopes of it lasting more than a single minute.

Renly held his squire with one hand under the small of his back, while the other held the side of Loras’s face. He began to kiss him again, making sure his hands didn’t wander too far just yet.

Loras relished in feeling the weight of Renly pushing him further into the soft mattress. The two strong arms around him made him feel safe. He felt himself becoming more comfortable and sure of himself as he kissed Renly back...more confident in his decision that this felt right.

Renly finally removed his mouth from Loras’s in order to place tiny licks and bites up and down the squire’s neck. He was careful not to bite or suck too hard...he wanted to see the marks in the morning, but didn’t want them so big that they would be noticed by the staff. He could feel Loras slightly wriggling beneath him, adjusting his hips in an attempt to create more stimulation. Renly smiled down at him while taking his thumb and gently pulling down on Loras’s bottom lip, then letting it go. “So beautiful,” Renly murmured in Loras’s ear. “Will you let me do something to you, Loras?” he asked in a whisper.

Loras nodded, his eyes wide and unsure what he was agreeing to, but he completely trusted Renly.

Renly moved into a kneeling position so he could straddle Loras and began to undo the lacings of the squire’s pants. He looked at the squire’s face and could see he was nervous and breathing heavily. “Just relax, Loras. Take a deep breath, okay?” he said reassuringly.

Loras nodded as Renly slid the black pants down his legs and tossed them on the floor. Renly then looked down at the beautiful boy beneath him. He had seen Loras in various stages of undress over the years, but never completely naked. He took a few seconds to take this moment in. Loras was the most perfect creature the gods had ever created – from head to toe he looked like a work of art...the golden blond curls, the enormous blue eyes, his porcelain skin, his lean and toned body...and his young manhood. Renly could have stared at the image laid out in front of him all night. Sensing he had stared for far too long and realizing Loras was a bit uncomfortable at that, he knelt down at the bottom of bed in between Loras’s legs and separated them. He then leaned forward, coming close to Loras’s erection with his mouth, before stopping and looking back up at the squire.

“Yes?” Renly asked as he looked up, just to make absolutely sure. Loras nodded his head, giving permission. Renly then leaned in further and with his tongue lightly licked the length of Loras with slow and gentle strokes, careful not to go too fast or too hard, thus causing an immediate repeat of the other night.

Loras grabbed the sheets with his fists as he experienced his first time having somebody please him like this. He closed his eyes hard, one part of him enjoying the sensation of each tongue stroke, while the other part of him trying hard to last longer than he did before. The last time it was simply the brush of fingers that sent him over the edge. This time it was Renly’s tongue which felt even better.

Renly knew it would not take much longer to put him over the edge. He placed his hands on Loras’s hips and took the squire’s entire length into his mouth, causing a groan from Loras. Renly gazed at Loras, watching him squirm with pleasure. Loras’s soft moans grew louder as he stared at Renly, watching his mouth rise and fall over and over, seeing his own cock appear and then quickly disappear deep into his Lord’s mouth.

“Oh gods!” Loras yelled. “I...I...I can’t hold it much longer!”

Renly removed his mouth just long enough to speak a few words of encouragement. “It’s okay – you can come now.” He bowed his head back down again to continue sucking and added his right hand to help Loras along.

Within a few seconds Loras felt that same feeling from the other night wash over him as he exploded inside Renly’s mouth. He tried to hold back his scream as best he could, not wanting anybody else in the house to hear him, but it was close to impossible. Between Renly’s mouth sucking him and his hand pumping him, it was the most amazing feeling he had ever experienced in his young life.

Renly swallowed everything Loras gave him and then gave a few more licks to make sure he left him clean. He then quickly grabbed Loras by the hips and rolled him over onto his stomach. The sudden change of position happened so quickly Loras was taken by surprise. He could hear Renly undoing his own pants and removing them, but he remained staring down at the sheets, not wanting to turn around. He knew how men had sex with each other and a bit of panic began to set in. He felt Renly’s hand on his left butt cheek and braced himself – hoping it did not hurt. He felt the bed shake a bit, heard Renly groan, and then sensed something warm and wet on the small of his back. It was only then that Loras realized Renly hadn’t done what he thought he was going to...but had simply relieved himself on his back instead.

Renly slumped down on the bed beside Loras, slightly out of breath.  He was pleased that he had gotten Loras to last a little longer than the last time, and even managed to satisfy himself in the process.  “You’re okay, aren’t you?” he asked.

Loras nodded. “I’m okay. But...why didn’t you...uh...?”

“There’s no rush, is there Loras? I want to take my time with you if that okay,” Renly replied. “You’re young, this is all new to you, and I think it would be better if we took things slow.”

Loras smiled and let out a small sigh of relief upon hearing that. Taking it slow sounded perfect to him. As much as he desired Renly and the new feelings that were begin to rage within his body, he was a bit apprehensive of moving too quickly. Renly was experienced, whereas he was not, and a little time to get comfortable with all of this was what Loras was hoping for. He watched as Renly stood up briefly to grab a towel, then returned to clean up the white puddle that was still on the arch his back.

Renly tossed the towel aside and scooped Loras in his arms, pulling him in close. He brushed a few stray curls away from Loras’s face so he could look directly into his eyes. “So, what did you think of all that?” he said softly, running a few fingers across the squire’s cheek.

“Um...I liked it,” Loras replied a bit sheepishly.

“Yes, I could tell!” Renly laughed. “Is that something you could get used to doing every night?

“Uh huh,” Loras nodded his head with a shy grin.

Renly laughed softly at Loras’s happy, but slightly embarrassed expression. “I want you to stay here with me tonight in my chamber. Is that okay with you?”

Loras smiled at him. “Yes, my Lord.”

Renly shot him a feigned scowl. “I’ve _told_  you Loras, when we’re alone it’s just ‘Renly’...especially when we’re alone like this,” and placed a kiss atop of Loras’s head.

Loras scooted in as close as he could to Renly, feeling safe and secure in his arms. Within a few minutes Renly could tell by the squire’s breathing pattern that he had fallen fast asleep. He gazed lovingly at Loras while he slept, hoping that he had made the right decision. He adored the boy, there was no denying that. But no amount of affection would make their relationship acceptable to anybody, in any part of Westeros - that was certain.

Renly held him close and before long he fell into a contented sleep as well – their two bodies together as one, arms and legs intertwined. Their relationship had completely changed and, right or wrong, there was no going back now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I struggled with this chapter a bit....hopefully that doesn't show! Not sure how well it flows. I might tweak it when I get a chance, but I wanted to get it up today.


	13. Returning the Favor

_‘One week,’_ Loras thought happily to himself as he laid on his bed looking up at the ceiling. It had been one week since he had begun to spend each night in Renly’s chamber. A smile spread across his face as he recounted the last several nights...each time becoming more and more comfortable for him. Well, it was only oral sex so far, but Loras was perfectly content with that for right now. He could not imagine anything feeling better than what Renly had showed him so far. And the best part was that when they were done, he got to spend the entire night with Renly - in his bed and in his arms, until morning came and he silently crept back to his own chamber.

But it hadn’t escaped Loras that each time Renly would insist on finishing in the same way. He would go down on Loras, bringing him to an incredible orgasm, and would then quickly turn Loras over and relieve himself on his back – not once allowing Loras to satisfy him in return. He recalled Renly explaining that he wanted to take things slow, but Loras wanted to be able to return the favor and please Renly in the exact same manner - and he knew he was capable of doing it, whether there was a five year age difference or not.

Loras continued to stare at the ceiling, not sure how to approach the topic tonight when he retired to Renly’s chamber for the evening. Should he just ask if he could please his Lord orally? Should he just make the first move himself? Or would that be out of line? Loras wasn’t exactly sure. This type of intimate relationship was all so new to him and with no other experience to fall back on, he found himself depending on Renly to lead him. Renly had all the experience and Loras trusted that he knew best. But patience had never been Loras’s strong suit and being treated like a child did not settle well with him.

Loras shook the thoughts from his head and arose from his bed. He looked out the window and could tell by the newly darkened sky that it was the appropriate time to go down to Renly’s room. They had agreed that waiting a few hours after the evening meal would be best as most of the staff would be retired to their own rooms by that time in the evening. Everything had to be done carefully to ensure that Loras wasn’t seen entering Renly’s chamber each and every night.

After washing up and changing, Loras headed down the long, dark halls of Storm’s End. He stopped at Renly’s door, knocked and entered. Loras had barely taken two steps into the room when Renly quickly swooped in on him and gathered him up in his arms, showering his face with a frenzy of kisses.

“I guess you’ve missed me?” Loras managed to get out in between kisses, completely flattered with the onslaught of attention.

Renly paused just long enough to reply to the question. “I’ve been watching the sky darken for what felt like forever. I thought you’d _never_  come down tonight.” Loras could sense the need in his voice, which stirred up his own wants and desires as well.

Renly scooped him up and guided him to the bed, pushing him down gently. Loras laid on his back as Renly rapidly removed all of the squire’s clothing, just as he had for the past few nights. As Renly began his now customary ritual of kissing, licking and sucking a trail down Loras’s body until eventually arriving between his legs, Loras attempted to pay extra attention to every tongue stroke – every touch and every movement made. It was a constant struggle though as he continually found himself becoming lost in a haze of pleasure, only to have to refocus again on what Renly was doing.

Loras reached down to touch Renly’s head as he was nearing his orgasm – it still did not take him long to come, although he was able to maintain his stamina a bit longer than before. He stared and concentrated hard on Renly’s mouth, watching how he was easily able to take in his entire length at once, studying as Renly’s right hand firmly gripped the base of Loras’s cock and squeezed it. Watching the man whom he loved so skillfully and quickly bring him to a state of bliss made him love him even more. Loras collapsed back on the bed with a stifled moan as he came hard in Renly’s mouth. He had been waiting all day for that release and the long wait was worth every second of it.

Renly immediately grabbed at Loras’s hips in an attempt to turn him over, with Loras quickly protesting - “No! Please, don’t.”

Renly blinked and looked up at Loras, not sure what he was saying no to.

Loras chose his words and looked at Renly. “I’m not a child, you know. You don’t have to treat me like one,” he huffed under his breath.

Renly gave him a questioning look while raising one eyebrow. “What are you talking about? When have I ever treated you like a child?”

“Every night since I’ve been staying with you,” Loras replied in a frustrated tone. “You don’t let me do ANYTHING!”

Renly nodded slowly. It was true – he hadn’t let Loras do much of anything besides lie there. Maybe his squire was right. Perhaps he had been taking things too slow - even for Loras’s sake.

“Let me! I know exactly what to do,” Loras offered with a slight tone of arrogance seeping through.

“You’re quite sure of that, are you?” Renly smirked a little.

“Of course I am!” Loras replied with a raised voice. “I know for a fact I can do it just as well as you can.”

“Well, okay then. If you think you know it all, have it your way,” Renly stated.

Loras swallowed hard, half-pleased that he convinced Renly to see things his way, and half-nervous that he now had to _prove_  to Renly that he could perform. Not one to ever admit he was unsure or lacked confidence, Loras smugly replied with a snort – “It’s not hard. Anybody could do it. It’s just stupid that you wouldn’t even let me.”

Renly rose up from his kneeling position and hovered over Loras’s body, placing one arm on either side of his squire’s head and stared into his eyes. “If you think you’re such an expert on all affairs of the bedroom, let me see what you’ve got.”

Loras gave him a nonchalant look. “Fine – I will.”

Renly climbed off Loras and reclined on the bed, his head and shoulders leaning up against the headboard. He smirked a little at the over confident and cocky squire. If Loras was so sure of himself he would let him take control for a bit and show him what he had learned so far.

Loras rose from his back, completely sure he had it all figured out. He had laid on Renly’s bed the past several nights and was positive he could replicate everything Renly did to him. He scooted himself into position between Renly’s legs and slowly reached for the lacings on Renly’s pants to untie them for the very first time by himself. His fingers were clumsy and he found himself fumbling and tugging at the same lacing over and over, not seeming to get his fingers to do as they were told. Renly just sat there rather amused, watching Loras struggle for a bit before reaching down and undoing the knot that Loras had created in his feeble attempt to untie it.

“There you go. Can I do anything else for you?” Renly grinned.

Loras scowled and proceeded to pull the pants down and off Renly’s legs. For the first time since they had been sleeping together Loras got a perfectly clear and up-close view of Renly, not just a brief glimpse like the other nights. Loras admired his lover’s more mature physique. He was more well-endowed than Loras - but he was also older, Loras quickly told himself. Loras ran his hand over the light brown hair on Renly’s chest, suddenly quite aware that his own was still completely bare. He then placed his hands on Renly’s upper thighs, which were toned and muscular from years of horseback riding.  There was no denying that Renly was already a man.  

Loras let his eyes wander for a few moments, appreciating how perfectly flawless his older lover’s body was. He had Renly in the position he wanted, but now suddenly found that he was a bit apprehensive. Loras chewed on his bottom lip, his eyes drifting from Renly’s face to his growing erection and back again.

“Well?” Renly said softly, sensing Loras’s hesitancy. “I thought you knew _exactly_   what to do?” he smiled knowingly.

Loras smirked the comment off and lowered his head quickly. Of course he knew what to do, he was just getting ready. He took his tongue and began to mimic all the strokes and motions that Renly had performed on him. Once he had prepared Renly’s cock and gotten every inch of it wet, he went lower in order to pay special attention to his scrotum, taking each sack into his mouth, rolling and sucking gently before releasing it, just as Renly had done to him. Loras raised his eyes briefly to gauge his paramour’s reaction. Renly’s smirk had changed to an expression of complete enjoyment, his eyes closed and his face relaxed. Quite pleased with himself, Loras then ran his tongue up the length and turned his attention to the head of Renly’s cock that had already begun to show the beginnings of pre-cum forming at the tip. Loras licked and sucked the tip and teasingly swirled his tongue around it, watching Renly begin to writhe around in pleasure. _‘There’s nothing to this,’_ Loras thought to himself, feeling his confidence build.

Loras kneeled and grasped one hand around the base of Renly’s now throbbing dick. Loras flashed an over-confident smile at him before heading down again in an attempt to take all of Renly at once.

Sensing what Loras was about to do, Renly began to warn him before going too far. “Loras – listen to me. Not all at once. You’ll cho...” but before he would finish his words Loras had taken on more than he could handle and Renly heard the unpleasant sound of gagging coming from his partner.

Loras pulled off of Renly instantly and coughed as he regained his breath. He looked up sheepishly, hoping Renly wasn’t too disappointed in him.

Renly’s smile was understanding. “It’s okay, Loras. It happens to almost everyone when you’re new at it. Just take it slow...and not the whole thing just yet, okay?” Renly reached down and teasingly tousled a few curls on Loras’s head. He could see his squire’s self-assuredness had been replaced with pinkened cheeks and slight embarrassment.

Nevertheless, Loras was not one to give up and attempted it again, this time taking Renly’s advice. He could comfortably manage half of Renly’s length and decided that would be his limit...for tonight at least. He gripped Renly’s cock with one hand while placing his other hand on his Lord’s hip, digging his fingers into Renly’s flesh and trying to regain his self-confidence. He began to suck hard and fast, quickly bringing Renly to the edge.

Renly pressed his back up against the sturdy headboard and tightly grasped the pillows around him with both hands as he watched his young squire quite skillfully bring him to the beginnings of his orgasm. He could see Loras’s cheeks hollowed out as he sucked furiously. Renly felt a loud groan escape from his throat as he spilled himself into Loras’s fairly talented, yet still rather inexperienced, mouth for the first time.

Renly rolled his eyes back and sighed at the much more pleasant sensation of coming into a warm, tight mouth as opposed to his own hand. As his eyes fluttered back open and focused, he could see the extremely unpleasant look on Loras’s face. He watched as Loras hesitantly swallowed and then leaped off the bed, grabbing a glass of wine and downing it in one second.

Renly stifled a laugh and motioned to Loras to rejoin him in bed once he was done gulping the wine. Loras laid down beside him and Renly pulled the blankets up and over them. “I know it’s not the most pleasant thing at first. But some day I guarantee you it _will_  be something you desire.”

“Really?” Loras asked, a look of distaste still on his face. “I’m not sure I believe that.”

“I promise, it’s true,” Renly whispered as he pulled Loras in as close as he could. “Especially when it’s from somebody you care about.”

“If you say so,” Loras replied still not completely convinced. “Um...Renly? I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. I...”

“Self-confidence is an admirable quality and can serve you well in life. But being a know-it-all is not. There’s a thin line between the two, and arrogance it will cause you a world of problems if you cannot reign it in. Don’t be so sure you know everything there is to know just yet, Loras.”

“Okay, Father” Loras said sarcastically with a roll of his eyes, not one to enjoy lectures.

“I mean it, Loras!” Renly returned sternly, raising his voice and rising up on one elbow to stare down at him. “Thinking you know everything will bring no good to your life, I swear. Being able to listen to and accept the counsel of others might be invaluable to you some day.”

Loras’s expression changed to sullen at the reprimand. “I just wanted to make you happy,” he mumbled softly, avoiding Renly’s eyes.

Renly pulled him in close, the sternness now gone from his eyes. “You _did_  make me happy, Loras. You make me happy every day of my life...very, _very_  happy.”

Loras smiled at the compliment and wriggled his way into a comfortable position underneath Renly’s arm, feeling rather pleased with himself. Aside from that one little misstep, he had managed to demonstrate that he could please his Lord as well as anybody. Loras was determined to make sure he satisfied every need Renly had, so that he never needed to look elsewhere for companionship or love. Loras never wanted him to go near a brothel again, and he would make sure that his Lord never needed to.


	14. A Bad Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renly discloses a past traumatic event to Loras.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note there is mention of a past sexual assault in this chapter.

The sky above Storm’s End had already blackened as Renly sat in bed reading, this being his customary nighttime activity before retiring for years now, his back propped up against several pillows. Beside him lay Loras, restless as usual, forever changing positions, lightly jabbing him in the ribs with an elbow every so often, and sighing heavily in a feeble attempt to get Renly’s attention. Renly simply ignored his efforts and continued reading. As much as he loved his new relationship with Loras, his nightly reading has certainly suffered over the past few weeks. Loras was unquestionably high maintenance – at least from an emotional standpoint. He wanted to talk and engage constantly, while Renly was used to pulling inward and being solitary. Loras required much more of his emotional attention than anybody else he had ever been with in the past. But then again, Renly had never loved anybody in this manner before, so if his nightly reading had to suffer from to time, it was a small price to pay he surmised.

Renly felt a gentle kick to the shin as his partner flailed and fidgeted restlessly in the bed, clearly not happy with having to compete with a book to be noticed. Renly sighed slightly and turned to Loras - “Is there something you want?” he asked, only slightly annoyed.

“Yes! Your attention,” Loras huffed, relieved to finally get Renly’s nose out of his book.

Renly closed the book and placed it on his night stand, then slid down the pillows a bit and rolled on his side to look his squire in the eyes. “Okay, you have my full and undivided attention. What do you want?”

“Wanna talk.”

“Okay. What is it you’d like to talk about?”

Loras thought for a moment, trying to think of a good topic of discussion. “Tell me about your first time.”

“My first time?” Renly asked somewhat surprised. “Why would you want to hear about that? I think I’ve quite forgotten all about it anyway” he concluded, not quite convincingly.

“Well,” Loras started, “I’ve heard that you never forget your first time. Is that true?”

Renly rolled onto his back, placed his hands behind his head, and stared up at the ceiling. _'Perfect,'_  he thought. He had spent years trying to forget that first time, and now Loras wanted him to bring it all back up to the surface.

“I’ve spent a very long time trying to forget my first time, Loras.”

“Why?” Loras asked. “What happened? Tell me.”

Renly pondered the question for a moment, not sure if he really wanted to retell the story, but then decided that if it was something Loras really wanted to know, he would tell him. He did not believe in keeping secrets from him – not anymore at least.

Renly let out a deep breath before beginning. “I guess I was about your age, or maybe a little younger. Robert had taken me along with him to King’s Landing for some reason or another. I was young and curious...and I was away from Storm’s End, so I thought it would be the perfect time to...you know, experiment and see if I...if I really preferred the company of men.” He glanced over at Loras who was listening attentively.

“So, I had heard about this one particular man there. Pretty much everybody knew he preferred the company of men.   He was quite a bit older than me, but we ended up crossing paths once or twice while I was in King’s Landing and...well...he invited me back to his home.”

Loras leaned up on his elbow and propped his head up with his hand and continued listening closely, hanging onto his every word.

“Well, one thing lead to another and...you remember what happened to you the first time I touched you under the weirwood tree, don’t you?” Renly asked.

Loras nodded, his cheeks blushing a bit at being reminded of that awkward moment.

“Well, that’s basically what happened to me,” Renly stated.

“HA! Really?!” Loras belly laughed out loud and pushed Renly playfully on the arm as he continued laughing, relieved to know he wasn’t the only one who had experienced such embarrassment surrounding his first time.  Loras tried his best to stifle his laughter so Renly could continue the story. 

Renly’s face remained unusually serious. “The man I was with didn’t find it funny at all,” he said in a solemn voice. “In fact, he was so angry that he backhanded me across the face so hard my cheek was bruised and swollen for days.”

Loras’s smile immediately morphed into a look of shock. His eyes opened wide as he realized there was nothing to laugh about concerning the story. “So...what did you do? Did you tell anyone?” he asked.

Renly scoffed and shook his head. “Who would I tell, Loras? Could I run to Robert and tell him that a man I was trying to have sex with had hit me? Robert would’ve just backhanded the other side of my face as well.”

Loras saw the furrow form in Renly’s brow and could see he was becoming visibly upset at the retelling of his story. Loras deeply regretted having asked. He hated seeing his Lord saddened – and Loras had basically caused all this himself by asking about it in the first place.

“Well, did you leave? Did you run?” Loras asked quietly.

“I don’t think I did anything at first – I was so stunned at being hit,” Renly recalled. “But then everything happened so fast – I never really had the chance to run.” Renly paused again and took a deep breath before continuing.

“All I really remember after that was him grabbing me and roughly throwing me over on the bed and...well, basically he just took what he wanted. I think I remember screaming at him...begging him to please stop...that he was hurting me, but he didn’t listen. He didn’t even attempt to try and make it comfortable for me. Never in a thousand years did I expect to feel as much pain as I did that night.”

Loras blinked a few times as he felt his eyes begin to sting at what he thought was originally going to be a pleasant story.

“And that, Loras, was my first time. I could barely walk the next day. I told everybody that I had fallen down some steps when they asked about my face. And it took quite some time before I even had the courage to talk to another man after that.”

Loras’s lower lip quivered as he tried to hold back his own emotions. “I’m so sorry, Renly. I’m so sorry that your first time is such a bad memory.” He placed his head on Renly’s shoulder and gently draped his arm across his lover’s chest. “That _never_  should have happened to you. Why are some people so cruel?”

“I don’t know,” Renly said softly, staring up at the ceiling. “But I think the worst part of it all was that he _knew_  it was my first time. He _knew_ , and yet he didn’t care at all.” Renly took his arm that was around Loras and moved it so he could stroke his squire's long hair, feeling the silky locks glide through his fingers.

“And that is part of the reason why I’ve wanted to take things so slow with you. When we...I mean _IF_  we ever take that next step, I want it to be a good memory for you. Not a bad one.”

“It WILL be a good memory,” said Loras quite matter-of-factly. He felt a pang of sadness inside him from listening to Renly’s story. It seemed each time Renly revealed another chapter from his past, it was never a happy one. Loras had so many happy memories to fall back on and recollect, whereas Renly’s were so few.

Loras felt guilty at bringing up such a bad topic for discussion. “You can finish reading your book now, Ren. I’ll be quiet – I promise,” he offered softly.

Renly rolled onto his side so he could face the only person in this world that he truly loved. “No. I don’t want to read anymore tonight, but thank you,” he smiled and brushed his nose lightly against Loras’s. “But I _would_  like it if we could talk about something else...something a bit happier.”

Loras grinned mischievously up at his Lord. “Or...we could just not talk anymore at all tonight,” he suggested coyly.

Renly smiled back at his soul mate. He was more than happy to go along with that suggestion.


	15. A Trip to Oldtown

Renly sat in the enclosed horse drawn carriage impatiently tapping his foot. “Loras? Are you ready?” he bellowed out the window one more time before the squire finally came running out of the castle and jumped into the carriage. He threw his bag with his change of clothes onto the floor of the carriage and sat down beside Renly, who was shaking his head and frowning at having been kept waiting for so long. Loras shot him a sheepish smile before sliding over on the seat to crowd Renly in a bit. He knew Renly could never stay frustrated with him for long and he also knew exactly how to defuse any situation that might arise. Loras gazed at him with his long-lashed big blue eyes, wrinkled his nose up at him and ran his fingers across the older man’s thigh. Renly’s scowl changed back to a smile as he positioned his arm around Loras’s waist, pulling him in close. Loras had him completely wrapped – and the both of them knew it.

Renly gave the signal to the driver and they headed off on their several hour journey to Oldtown. Robert had requested that Renly go to speak in person to several of the Lords of Oldtown on some political matters and he had naturally decided to take Loras along with him. The journey droned on for what seemed like an eternity to a restless and squirmy Loras, who was not one to enjoy being stuck in a rolling crate for so long and unable to stand up or move about. Eventually they arrived at their destination and were able to step out of the confines of the carriage. Loras had never been to Oldtown before and he took a moment to look around at the new environment. Although dusk had already fallen due to their delay in leaving Storm’s End on schedule, it was still just light enough that Loras was able to take everything in.

“Here you go,” Renly stated as he tossed Loras’s bag of clothes into his arms and motioned for his squire to follow him into the building where they would be lodging for the night. Loras had seen some elegant places in the past – his home at Highgarden being one of them, but this particular castle was extravagant beyond anything he could have imagined. The architectural detailing and décor of the establishment was not something he had seen before and with each turn of his head, the squire noticed something else to capture his attention. Renly side-glanced at him and grinned to himself, pleased that Loras was enthused about their lodgings for the night. Having obtained the key to their chamber from the innkeeper, Renly motioned to Loras to follow him. “Come along. We can rest for the remainder of the night, Loras. My meeting isn’t planned until tomorrow.”

Upon locating their chamber for the evening, the two stepped into an extremely spacious room, ornately decorated and far more elegant than anything Loras had ever seen at Storm’s End, or even Highgarden for that matter. There was a massive canopy bed against one wall, big enough that several people could have slept in it comfortably. From each of the four bedposts hung sheer burgundy silk tapestry with the edgings delicately stitched in gold. The bed had several soft animal furs covering it and a multitude of colored pillows arranged upon it. On another wall was a large hearth with a crackling fire already under way. In the center of the room was a table layed out with an abundance of fruit, cheese, bread and wine – enough that they would not have to leave the room for their evening meal. The chamber was filled with the scent of lavender oil that had been placed in a bowl over the fireplace so the heat could activate the aroma. And there were multiple large floral arrangements scattered throughout the room. Renly knew that flowers reminded Loras of being at home in Highgarden, and since Storm’s End never had many, he had made sure to have their room filled with an assortment of them prior to their arrival.

Loras scanned the extravagant room from top to bottom. This was far more than they needed for a simple business meeting – Renly had clearly gone out of his way to make their trip extra special. As his eyes continued to take in every detail, he noticed a chair in the far corner of the room with a highly polished new shield placed on it. Loras turned questioningly at Renly, who just smiled and nodded his head, indicating for Loras to go and examine it. Loras walked over and picked up the shield. It was made of Valyrian steel, just like the sword Renly had gifted him on his 14th nameday. The shield had the Highgarden sigil of a golden rose on a green leaf in the center, with the House Tyrell words “Growing Strong” engraved beneath it. Decorating the edges were embossed vines with intertwining golden roses and thorns.

Loras’s mouth was agape as he ran his hand along the embossed detailing, marveling at the workmanship of the shield, as well as the substantial weight. The shield he currently used now for practice failed in comparison to the magnificence of this.

Renly stepped up behind him and put his hands on his shoulders, leaning in and bringing his mouth close to Loras’s neck before speaking. “I really wanted to get you your first full set of armor, but your father has his heart set on doing that himself. I didn’t want to step on his toes, so I asked if I could at least get you the shield.”

Loras turned around and just stared at Renly for a moment, not quite sure what to say. It was not his nameday and there was no cause for Renly to have given him anything of this magnitude for no reason. Finally finding his voice, he replied “You know you don’t have to buy me such expensive things.”

“I know I don’t _have_  to. I _want_  to. I enjoy seeing you happy,” Renly replied with a soft smile.

Loras slid his arm into the holder on the back of the shield and positioned it in front of him, as he would in battle. He then removed his special nameday sword from its holder on his hip and took a few swings with it, using his new shield to “block” his imaginary opponent. Renly smiled as he watched him maneuver it for a few moments, knowing full well that Loras was delighted with the gift. “Okay...that’s enough practice for tonight I think,” as he lifted the shield out of Loras’s arm and placed it back on the chair.

“I love the shield, Renly. Thank you! But why didn’t you just give it to me back at Storm’s End? And why are we staying at this fancy place when all we need is a small room for the night?” Loras asked with a puzzled face.

Renly pulled Loras in close to him, interlocking his fingers behind the small of Loras’s back as he held him. “Well...I wanted tonight to be special. I wanted tonight to be a _good_  memory for you.”

Loras took a moment to process what Renly had said and then, upon fully understanding, wrapped his arms tightly around Renly’s neck. He had been waiting for this night to come. It had been almost one month since he had been invited into Renly’s bed and he had been anticipating this night ever since then. A small smile formed on Loras’s face, knowing that tonight would officially seal and complete their relationship.

Renly reached down with his hand and turned Loras’s face up towards his own to kiss him. There wasn’t a soul in Westeros who meant more to him than Loras and he had been biding his time for a host of different reasons. But mainly he had wanted to give Loras the time to adjust to their new relationship. Going from squire to bed partner was a big adjustment and he didn’t want his younger partner to feel any pressure to do anything he wasn’t ready for.

Renly tightened his grip on Loras, his hands exploring and roaming freely, eventually sliding one hand down to grab Loras’s bottom. He placed his other hand around Loras’s waist, keeping him firmly pulled in to his own body. Renly’s kisses became deeper and harder as he found himself desiring Loras more and more by the second. The oral sex with Loras was enough to satisfy him and enable him to wait for this night, but he had waited long enough. He wanted Loras in every way possible and he silently prayed to the gods that Loras would feel the same.

“You know how I feel about you, Loras. Don’t you?” Renly asked after breaking the long kiss.

“Mmm hmm,” Loras replied with a nod, looking up at him. Renly had yet to speak the words ‘I love you’ to Loras yet, but he did not need to. Loras knew exactly how he felt regardless. There was an unspoken understanding between he and Renly – while Loras was able to say ‘I love you” freely, and often did, it did not come as easily for Renly.

“It’s been a month now since I’ve taken you into my bed,” Renly continued, “and I’ve cherished every moment of you sleeping with me. I told you I wanted to take things slow, but...but I think...I think we’re ready to take that last step. Don’t you?” Renly asked, silently hoping that Loras’s answer would be yes.

Loras paused for a second, causing a moment of concern for Renly. He stared into Loras’s eyes, hoping he could see the answer somewhere in them.

“Yes,” Loras whispered so softly Renly almost had to strain to hear. But Renly _did_  hear it and he needed nothing more then that. His fingers quickly went to work unlacing Loras’s shirt and pulled it over his head, then rapidly removed his own as well. Renly then took Loras by the hand and walked him over to the large canopy bed, tying back one of the silk tapestries to the bedpost so they could both enter. He sat Loras down on the edge of the bed to remove his boots, then kicked off his own as well.

“Lay down, Loras,” Renly instructed. Loras scooted back toward the mountain of pillows that had been carefully arranged and laid down. Renly proceeded to remove his pants before climbing onto the bed with Loras. With one swift motion he removed Loras’s pants as well, leaving them both naked on top of the enormous bed, the soft animal furs that covered the mattress brushing against their bare skin.

Renly crawled on top of Loras, showering his face and neck with kisses. He ran his hands up and down Loras’s sides and across his still hairless chest – his body feeling so small underneath Renly’s large hands. He could feel Loras begin to relax beneath him with each and every stroke, touch and caress of his strong hands. Renly did not care how long the foreplay lasted tonight. Whatever amount of time Loras needed, Loras would get. He wanted to make sure Loras had the opportunity to tell him if something hurt or if he wanted him to stop. He wanted to afford Loras the courtesy that he himself never received his first time.

Renly looked up from his frenzy of kisses along Loras’s neck to notice that his squire was now biting his lip. He reached up and gently pulled it away from Loras’s clenched teeth. “You don’t have to be afraid, you know. If anything doesn’t feel right, just tell me and I’ll stop.”

“You promise?”

“Of course I promise, Loras. I would _never_  hurt you.”

Loras nodded. He knew Renly meant it, but he was still a bit apprehensive. “Should I roll over?” he asked, planning to take all his cues from Renly this night.

“No. I want to be able to look at your face,” Renly said softly with a smile. “You just lie right there.” He then took a pillow and slid it under Loras’s hips.

Loras watched as his Lord stood up and walked over to a bag he brought with him from Storm’s End. He pulled out a small jar with what looked to have a clear oil inside, brought it back to the bed, opened it and inserted one finger into it. He then knelt down in front of Loras, separated his legs, and ran the slicked finger down the crack of Loras’s bottom until he hit the spot that he wanted. Loras sucked in his breath quickly at the strange sensation – not exactly sure if he liked it or not. After a few moments of massaging the hole, Renly pressed just the tip of his finger in – not wanting to go too far at once. Loras jolted at the unusual feeling. It didn’t hurt, but he didn’t particularly like it either. He felt a quick flush of embarrassment wash over him. He had another man’s finger inside his ass...it did not seem possible that he could ever get comfortable with that.

Renly could see Loras’s body was tense. “Relax,” he coached, his warm eyes looking down on him.

Loras looked up and studied his lover’s face. He knew he was in good hands – hands that would never hurt him. Loras turned his head to the side and stared at the crackling fire in the hearth through the sheer tapestry surrounding the bed and tried to calm his breathing. He took a few deep breaths and then felt Renly’s finger move up inside him a little more. A tiny groan escaped Loras’s lips, much to his own surprise. He could feel Renly’s finger sliding in and out and after a few moments, he began to get used to it.

Loras turned his attention back to Renly and stared into his eyes – those deep, kind eyes – and he could feel his body start to relax completely as those dark brown eyes stared back at him. The kindness behind Renly’s eyes was one of the first things Loras had noticed upon his arrival at Storm’s End more than two years ago. Loras felt the tension from every muscle in his body slowly fade away. He unclenched his fists and found himself spreading his legs a little further to give Renly more access.

Renly smiled down upon him, happy to see him becoming more comfortable. He removed his finger, choosing to dip two into the jar this time, before reinserting them slowly inside Loras.

Loras reacted at the pressure of having a second finger inside him. He felt about as full as he could get, and yet he knew Renly’s cock was larger than two fingers. Not wanting to think about that problem just yet, he closed his eyes and just concentrated on what Renly’s fingers were doing. Whatever he was doing with them, it was working. He would move his fingers in such a way that Loras was sure he was close to coming, and then he would back off a bit, causing the build up inside of him to retreat. Loras closed his eyes and rode the sensation until he felt both fingers removed from him. He whined a bit at the sudden loss, but Renly smiled, added a bit more oil, and quickly reinserted three fingers.

Loras groaned, not realizing it was even possible for a third finger to go inside him. He _knew_ he was at his maximum. As good as it felt, he couldn’t deny the stretching of his body to a size it wasn’t used to. Renly stared down upon him, knowing exactly what each movement of his fingers was doing to his young lover. If Loras could handle things thus far, he could probably handle Renly. “You’re still okay, baby, aren’t you?” he asked.

Loras stared at him with hazy eyes, lids half-closed, and offered only a muffled sigh that turned into a small whine at the end. Renly watched as his partner’s head fell to the side, his long curls falling across different parts of his face. He knew Loras was close to the edge. He removed all three fingers, causing Loras to look up at him again, pleading with only his eyes as he couldn’t muster any words at the moment.

Renly leaned over him and placed a rough kiss on his lips, gently sucking on Loras’s bottom lip before releasing it. “I think you’re ready, Loras. Do you trust me?”

Loras chewed on his own lip for a second and nodded, a swirl of apprehension and need both surging through his body at the same time. He watched Renly take some oil and apply it to his manhood, from the base all the way to the tip. Renly was certainly longer and wider than three fingers and Loras silently prayed he would be able to accommodate his Lord.

Renly positioned himself in between Loras’s legs and used his thumbs to gently spread Loras apart. He placed the tip of his cock at Loras’s partially stretched opening and pressed lightly. Loras closed his eyes as he felt the pressure building, and then snapped them open upon feeling Renly actually penetrate him. Renly had only entered as far as the head and stopped to gauge Loras’s reaction, giving the squire a moment to adjust and get comfortable before proceeding.

“Yes?” Renly asked before going any further.

“Uh huh, yes,” Loras whispered.

Renly then slowly inched himself in a bit more, again pausing every so often and repeating until he was almost completely inside Loras. Each push forward felt like heaven for Renly and having to pause and wait felt like torture. He kept his focus on Loras’s face for any signs of distress and only proceeded when he saw none.

Loras rolled his head back and moaned at the overwhelming feeling of pleasure and slight pain at his first time, along with the confusion of wanting Renly to both continue and stop at the same time. Loras felt somewhat uncomfortable at the stretched and full sensation. He looked down to see how far along Renly had gotten and gasped lightly upon seeing only about an inch of Renly’s manhood still visible. Loras had taken almost the entire length. He had several inches of Renly’s sizable cock inside him already and was a little surprised that he had been able to manage it.

Loras laid his head back down on the pillows, his breathing having now quickened to a pant. He was so close to making his Lord fully happy, which in turn made him happy. Loras held his breath a bit as he watched Renly alter his position, attempting to adjust the angle to ensure it was as comfortable as possible for Loras as he prepared to fully enter him. A loud groan escaped Renly’s lips as he gave one more slight push, this time fully taking Loras. “Fuck! Oh gods, Loras! Fuuuuck!” escaped Renly’s lips as he stared down to see that Loras was completely sheathing him. Loras’s ass was stretched to its maximum and Renly could have easily come that very second just by the sight of that alone.

Loras exhaled at the same moment that Renly fully penetrated him. His head began to spin and he felt like his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. Renly remained still in his position, allowing Loras another moment to adjust. Once Loras realized he was okay, he looked up at Renly and smiled weakly. Only then did Renly begin to gently rock back and forth, slightly exiting and then re-entering Loras with each light thrust.

Renly gazed down at his lover – the most beautiful thing the gods had ever created – and watched him begin to writhe around in pleasure. He stared at Loras’s perfect face - clearly overcome by a wave of pleasure. He listened to the tiny grunts and groans escape from Loras at the pleasure he was receiving. Renly drank it all in – every sight and sound and second of it. The most beautifully handsome young man in all the Seven Kingdoms was laid out in front of him, having completely surrendered his body to him. Renly was the luckiest man in Westeros and he knew it.

Loras reached up and over his head to grab onto part of the headboard for stability as his body was being rocked to and fro. What at first felt to Loras like the gentle rocking of waves on the ocean soon become slightly rougher as the minutes passed, but never once did Loras need to ask Renly to stop. Renly reached down with one hand to stroke Loras’s swollen cock, leaking with pre-cum, and in desperate need of attention. Loras’s eyes closed as his lover pleased him with a sensual rhythm using both his hand and manhood. He felt Renly’s nimble fingers stroking the length of his throbbing length and simultaneously felt Renly’s hardness pushing deeper and deeper inside of him.

Loras let his eyes wander downward to admire Renly’s skill in pleasing another man. Through his spread opened legs he could see Renly oil-slicked cock glisten as it made its way in and out of his body, with each push propelling Loras closer to coming. He had never felt so uncomfortably full in all his life and yet so close to ecstasy at the same time.

A soft groan began to emerge from Loras that grew louder and louder as he thrashed his head from side to side on the pillows. Loras began to pull his knees up closer to his chest, a sign that Renly knew meant his squire was probably mere moments away from coming. Renly reached down and grabbed Loras’s legs from behind his knees and gently lifted them up so that they were supported on top of his shoulders. From that position Renly only needed to thrust a few more times before putting Loras over the edge. “Uhhhhhhh, Renly...I...oh gods, Ren...” was all that Loras was able to utter before he came. The scream that then emerged from his squire’s throat could only be described as primal – a scream that told Renly his squire belonged completely to him and him alone. Loras came long and hard, shooting cum over his lower abdomen and Renly’s hand. Renly looked on, enjoying every second of the scene that played out in front of him.

Once he was sure that Loras had finished, Renly dug his fingers deeply into the squire’s thighs and pumped until he was coming deep inside of Loras’s ass. Renly muttered some expletives under his breath as each burst of cum was released into his young lover. Loras, still lying on his back, could sense the hot liquid inside him and could feel Renly’s cock pulsating as it pushed out the last of his load. Loras knew Renly had taken him in every sense of the word and he was happy to have let him. He could not imagine anybody else in the world who he would have wanted to have his first experience with besides Renly.

Without a drop left inside of him, Renly had finally ridden the best orgasm of his life to completion. He sighed as he gently exited Loras, gave a quick kiss to inside of Loras’s leg that was flung over his shoulder, and then removed both limp legs from his shoulders. Renly slumped down beside him on the bed, both being too winded to speak just yet. Loras felt a sudden feeling of emptiness after having felt so full. He rolled to his side to look upon his Lord who had just brought him into manhood.

Renly held Loras tightly in his arms as they both recovered, with Loras’s body curled up like a cat tightly beside him. After a few moments of recovery, Loras found his voice first. “I love you Renly...I love you _so_  much,” he whispered, his words a bit muffled as his face was buried deep in his lover’s neck, but Renly heard him. Renly had heard those words spoken to him almost every night since he had brought Loras into his bed. Loras was free and giving with his emotions, never afraid to tell Renly exactly how he felt. And it wasn’t that Renly didn’t love Loras back – the gods themselves knew that he did – it was just that the words didn’t come as easy for him. Years of putting up emotional facades had taken their toll on his ability to be emotionally honest for fear of getting hurt. But here in this moment, his young lover having completely surrendered his body and soul to him, having trusted him wholly, he felt an overwhelming emotion wash though his body that he had never experienced before.

Renly lifted his head and reached down to turn Loras’s face up toward his. He wanted to look into Loras’s eyes...he NEEDED to look into his eyes. “Loras? I want to tell you something. Something I’ve never said to anybody before, but...I LOVE you, Loras. I love you more than life itself. I need you to know that.”

Loras felt his eyes fill up a bit at finally hearing those three words from Renly. He already knew he loved him – every action from Renly proved it, but hearing him actually say it finally validated everything for Loras.

“I know you do,” Loras replied. “I’ve known for a while. Sometimes I think that maybe you loved me from the very beginning.”

Renly smiled at him, grateful that his young lover was so in tune to his thoughts and feelings without him even having to speak them. Renly looked at his paramour who was completely spent, still recovering and becoming drowsy, and was completely certain that they would never be apart. He _had_  loved him from the very beginning, even if he had not fully realized it at the time. If there was any such thing as a soul mate, Renly had found his. And if there was any reason for life being worth living, it was Loras.

“This will be my _best_  memory ever – and I will never forget it,” Loras stated sleepily. Renly smiled to himself and stroked Loras’s head.

The two layed together listening to the crackling fire and watching the orange and yellow flames dance within the hearth. They held each other as black shadows overtook the room with the sun completely setting, waiting for sleep to eventually take them both – which it soon did.


	16. Highgarden

Loras had been bustling around the castle of Storm’s End trying to get all his last minute chores and duties done. He would be leaving first thing in the morning for a brief return home to Highgarden. It had been several months since he had had the chance to visit and was looking forward to seeing his family and home again. Currently he was finishing up in Renly’s chamber with a pile of freshly laundered shirts that needed organizing and hanging up. He placed the large pile on Renly’s bed and picked up the first shirt to be hung.

As Loras busied himself in the closet, Renly entered the room. “Oh – there you are!,” he stated cheerfully as he walked up behind his squire and wrapped his arms around his waist. Loras finished hanging up the shirt in his hand and turned around, draping his arms around Renly’s neck.

“So, you’re off to Highgarden tomorrow, is that right?” Renly asked smiling down on him. “I’m afraid I’m going to miss you.” The two had not spent a night apart in several months, the last time being when Robert had insisted Renly to go hunting with him.

“I’m going to miss you too. Why don’t you come with me?” Loras asked.

“Oh, no,” Renly shook his head. “I don’t think that would be a good idea at all.”

“Why not?” asked Loras. “My father adores you. And I’ve been so anxious to show you Highgarden. It’s so beautiful – it’s nothing at all like Storm’s E-” Loras caught himself before finishing his sentence. Storm’s End might seem like the most dismal place on earth to Loras, but it was still Renly’s home and he would never want to insult him.

Renly pondered the invitation. The last time he had spoken with Mace Tyrell he and Loras had not consummated their relationship yet. But things had drastically changed since then and he felt certain there would be an uncomfortableness in the air if he went.

“I don’t think so, Loras. It’s a bad idea. The more distance I keep from your family, the less likely they are to find out about...about us,” Renly stated.

“Oh, come on,” Loras pouted a bit. “Even if my family _did_  suspect something, who cares?”

“Who cares? I care!” Renly replied and stepped back and away from Loras. He began pacing about the room as he spoke. “I’m fourth in line to the throne, so it’s imperative that nobody knows about me.”

Loras scoffed at what seemed like a ludicrous reason to him. “Seriously, what are the odds of Robert, Joffrey, Tommen AND Stannis all being wiped off the face of the earth at once?”

“I understand what you’re saying, Loras. My odds of getting to the Iron Throne are slim, but you never know. Stranger things have happened. And if that ever _did_  happen, not a soul in Westeros would accept me as King if it was known that I...well...you know,” Renly finished with a sigh.

Loras walked over to Renly and placed his arms around his waist, forcing him to stop pacing the floor. “But I WANT you to come to Highgarden with me,” Loras said slowly, pausing after each word for emphasis. “I WANT you to meet my sister and grandmother.”

“We don’t always get what we want, Loras.”

Loras pressed his body tightly against Renly and looked up at him with big, sad blue eyes and through long, thick eyelashes. Loras was used to getting what he wanted.

Renly looked away. “ _Don't_  look at me that way, Loras. You _know_  it’s not fair.” Loras had become incredibly perceptive over the last few months and knew exactly what Renly’s weak spots were – with Loras’s big, sad eyes being one of them.

“Please?” Loras begged. “Please come to Highgarden with me? Everything will be fine – I promise.”

Renly turned back to look at Loras, big sad eyes and all, and let out a sigh of defeat. It was completely impossible not to give Loras what he wanted, when he wanted it. “Very well,” he replied begrudgingly. “I’ll go to Highgarden with you. But you need to be extremely careful what you say around your family.”

Loras threw his arms around Renly’s neck and hugged him. “Oh, I will! And thank you, Renly! You’re going to love it – just wait and see! I’m going to go finish packing!”

And with that Loras dashed out the door, leaving Renly with a large pile of shirts on his bed that he himself would have to finish hanging.

**********************************************

Renly sensed the drastic change of scenery the closer they got to Highgarden. The grass was greener, the trees were fuller, the sky seemed bluer and the scent of fresh flowers hung in the air. Loras’s home came into focus the closer they got and in the distance Renly could see a young girl with long auburn colored hair running towards them. As they approached closer to the gates of Highgarden, Loras jumped off his horse and ran toward her. The girl jumped into Loras’s arms and squealed with excitement as he lifted her off the ground to hug her, she in turn planting dozens of kisses on his cheeks and forehead.

Loras looked up towards Renly who was still on horse. “This is Margaery, my sister!”

“Yes, I figured!” Renly replied with a laugh.

Mace Tyrell emerged from inside the castle to greet Loras. Renly watched from atop his horse as Mace embraced his son for what seemed like over a minute, patting his back, smiling at him and commenting how he had grown, before Margaery pulled Loras back in so she could hug him again. Renly felt a small pang of jealousy watching the display of family affection, though did his best to quickly shake it away.

A stableboy had come out to claim Loras’s abandoned horse and Renly dismounted his own and passed it off the boy as well. He walked over to make a proper greeting to Loras’s family.

“Lord Renly, it’s _so_  good to finally meet you. My brother’s told me so much about you,” Margery stated while extending her hand so Renly could kiss it.

“Really?” Renly replied with a raised eyebrow to Loras before kissing her hand. “Well, I trust it was all good?” causing Margaery to giggle at the comment.

“Where’s grandmother?” Loras asked his sister anxiously. “In the rose gardens,” she replied, “and she’s in quite a mood today.”

Margaery grabbed Loras’s elbow and with Renly and Mace in tow they made their way around to the back of the property and through a trail of carefully landscaped hedges and pristinely trimmed rose bushes. They passed a large and elaborate swimming pond that had been built up with carefully placed rocks along the outer edges. The pond was constructed on different levels so that water from the upper level poured down by way of a waterfall to the lower level. The spray from the constant waterfall was enough to keep the rose bushes adjacent to it constantly watered. Renly took in all the beauty that Highgarden had to offer and fully understood why Loras needed to return so often to such a beautiful place.

Upon locating his grandmother sitting at a table in the midst of a cluster of red and white rose bushes, Loras greeted her and received several kisses from the eldest member of his family as well. “Grandmother, I want you to meet Lord Renly. Lord Renly, this is my grandmother, Lady Olenna,” he stated looking at Renly.

“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” Renly stated as he kissed the old woman’s hand and sat down at the table across from her.

“Ah, Lord Renly Baratheon,” Lady Olenna began, looking him up and down. “I pray you’re not as much of a pompous ass as your brother is!”

Renly startled at the unexpected first comment out of her mouth. “Well, which brother are you referring to?” he said with a half-smile, to which Lady Olenna responded with a loud laugh.

“Now grandmother,” Margaery began in a kind tone with a smile. “We should not be insulting Lord Renly’s brothers. He’s a guest in our home.”

Lady Olenna replied curtly. “Lord Renly knows full well what his brothers are. Although I must say that only one is a complete ass. The other one is simply a giant prick,” she stated with a shake of her head and a scowl.

Renly sat with his mouth open a bit, unsure how to respond. Loras and Margaery just smiled at their grandmother’s sharp tongue, having grown accustomed to it over the years. Renly decided against further pursuing whether it was Robert or Stannis who was the ass or prick and simply waited for the topic to change.

The house staff moved in with a large assortment of fruits and cakes that they placed on the table for the afternoon tea. Just then somebody called Loras’s name in the distance. Loras turned around and waved at a teenage boy that Renly estimated was approximately the same age as Loras. “It’s Stuart!,” Loras shouted while waving back frantically. “Renly – that’s my friend. I haven’t seen him in months – do you mind if I go say hello?”

“Oh, of course not. Go ahead,” Renly replied, although he silently would have preferred to not have been left all alone with Loras’s family quite so soon. Loras took off like a shot down to the rock pond about 30 feet away and stripped himself of every stitch of clothing on him, with his friend doing likewise, before they both jumped into the water. Renly’s eyes widened as he looked on in surprise. He had just begun to open his mouth to yell at Loras to put some clothing back on when he realized that the rest of the Tyrells were completely unphased by the display and had simply carried on with their chatter.

Margaery smiled a bit at the expression on Renly’s face and sensed his uncomfortableness. She picked up a pitcher of wine and began to pour a large glass for him.

“You look rather shocked, Lord Renly. Do people not swim in the nude in Storm’s End?” Lady Olenna asked. “Loras and Stuart have been doing that since they could walk. Those two boys have known each other since they were each still sucking their mother’s tits.”

Renly raised his eyebrows, not sure how to respond to that comment either. He shifted nervously in his chair and looked down at his feet, not knowing what was going to come out of her mouth next. He was somewhat shocked at the vast difference between his and Loras’s families.

Lady Olenna continued on. “Loras has been running around Highgarden bare-assed since he could walk. That’s an everyday occurrence around here,” she stated matter-of-factly with a flip of her hand for emphasis.

Renly’s eyes widened at that statement as he looked around the table, not sure if she was implying that Loras was the only Tyrell to do this, or if the entire family partook in the practice. Mace was clearly oblivious to the conversation and was simply eating his food. Margaery leaned in and touched Renly’s hand. “Don’t worry. Nobody else runs around _‘bare-assed’_ here, I can assure you,” she laughed. Renly silently thanked the gods for receiving that bit of reassurance.

“Oh, back when I was young Lord Renly, my husband and I would swim naked in the moonlight in that very same rock pond.” Lady Olenna rested her chin on her hand as she looked down at the pond, remembering past moments from long ago, a small smile on her face.

Margaery leaned in toward Renly again and whispered in his ear. “Not to worry – grandmother doesn’t do that anymore,” she said with a smile.

“My husband turned into quite a cunt as he got older though!” Lady Olenna reflected, her smile now gone. Renly choked on the first sip of wine he had taken, quite taken aback at the elderly Tyrell’s profane language.

“Grandmother!” Margaery chastised with a large grin as she patted Renly firmly on the back while he choked. “I’m afraid my grandmother has a rather colorful vocabulary, Lord Renly!”

“Prune?” offered Lady Olenna as she held out a plate filled with an arrangement of the dried fruit. “I find it helps keep the bowels moving.”

“Oh, no...no...I...” Renly stammered uncomfortably, still recovering from the wine that went down the wrong hole. His eyes wandered down to the rock pond where Loras and his friend were still swimming and talking. Renly could have rung his neck for leaving him so long with his feisty grandmother. He could not have felt any more uncomfortable than he was right now and he prayed Loras would finish catching up with his friend and return to the table.

Almost as if sensing Renly’s distress, Loras looked up from the pond, said something to his friend, then stepped out of the water and wrapped a towel around his waist that the house staff had brought down to him. _‘Thank the gods for the staff,’_ Renly thought to himself.

As Loras returned to the table, Mace accidentally knocked over a glass of wine, spilling it all over the table as well as his pants. “Oh dear, excuse me everyone! I’m afraid I have to go and change.”

“Bumbling oaf!” Lady Olenna shook her head and mumbled under her breath as Mace left the table.

Renly shifted uncomfortably in his chair, giving Loras side glances and looks to indicate that he needed to be rescued. Upon finally noticing Renly’s distress signal, Loras excused himself and Renly and the two made their way out of the rose gardens, into the castle and directly to Loras’s chamber.

Immediately upon entering Loras’s room and finally being alone, Renly blurted out “Do you know your grandmother uses the word ‘cunt’? What grandmother uses the word ‘cunt’?” he asked with a huff.

“My grandmother isn’t like other grandmothers. How do you think she earned the name ‘Queen of Thorns’ anyway?” he smiled.

Renly continued on with his rant. “She called one of my brothers an ass...the other a prick...and then she discussed her bowels!” Renly’s arms flailed wildly as he spoke. “And why in the name of the old gods and the new did you strip down to nothing to swim? Aren’t you a little old for that now? And who the hell is Stuart?!”

Loras walked over to an exasperated Renly and placed his arms around his neck. “I won’t do that anymore if it bothers you,” Loras said quietly. “We’re just more open-minded here at Highgarden I guess.” He nuzzled his face into Renly’s neck in an attempt to calm him down, which it did.

Renly took a deep breath, thankful to finally be away from the Queen of Thorns and her sharp tongue for a bit, and in the arms of Loras instead. Finally feeling a bit more at ease, he glanced around the large and spacious room that Loras had grown up in. It was elaborately decorated and filled with imported furnishings and expensive tapestry. Mace Tyrell had spared no expense in decorating his son’s room. Renly now realized what a shock it must have been to a then 12-year-old Loras when he first saw his tiny, dank chamber upon arriving at Storm’s End.

As Renly scanned the room he noticed a collection of items that had all been pushed into one corner. As Loras stepped away to grab a towel to dry his hair, Renly walked over to the pile of assorted objects to examine them further. In the center was an old wooden rocking horse that had been carefully carved, complete with actual horse hair attached at the mane and tail. Among some of the other items were tiny wooden toy swords and shields. There was even a small helmet that looked like it might have fit a boy of about 8 or 9.

Renly smiled at the pile of abandoned toys and could almost imagine a young Loras sitting in that very corner playing with them. He glanced over his shoulder at Loras, who was a few feet away and still drying his hair. Sensing eyes upon him, Loras turned to see Renly standing amid his pile of old toys.

“Pfft,” Loras snorted with a dismissive look. “I haven’t had time to get rid of those old things.”

“Who made this rocking horse?,” Renly asked, running his hand over its head and mane. “Was it your father?”

“No. My grandfather originally made it for my father. And then my father passed it down to me,” Loras replied. His face suddenly became quite serious. “I guess I won’t have anybody to pass it down to, will I?”

“Well, I’m sure Margaery will have a child some day,” Renly offered reassuringly. Loras nodded and walked toward him, placing his arms around his waist and looking up at him with a smile.

“So, where will I be staying tonight, Loras?” Renly asked.

Loras looked up at him rather confused. “You’re staying with me of course. Here – in my chamber.”

Renly shook his head. “No. I told you – we need to be discreet. And I have to respect your father’s home. What would your family think if I spent the night in your chamber?”

Loras took his hands and pulled Renly’s tucked shirt out of his pants and over his head so he could run his hands up his Lord’s chest. “They’ll never know,” he whispered coyly in Renly’s ear. Renly began to protest again, but Loras overtook his mouth with a hard kiss. Loras pushed Renly backwards until they came to a large, red velvet cushioned chair. With two hands on his Lord’s chest, Loras gently pushed, forcing Renly to sit. Loras then undid the towel that had been wrapped around his waist and let it drop to the floor.

Renly sat and looked up at his now naked squire, somewhat in awe at how bold he had recently become in their relationship. It had not taken long at all for Loras to discover what he liked and he was never shy about asking for it. Loras leaned over and quickly undid his partner’s pants and pulled them down past his legs, pulling boots off in the process. Renly protested weakly, knowing he would not win, eventually giving up as Loras climbed onto his lap, straddled his legs and settled down.

“Loras,” he said feebly, “I have to respect your father’s house. They’re going to hear us.” He managed to get his words out in between the onslaught of kisses Loras was providing.

“I’ll be quiet,” Loras replied.

Renly scoffed. “You? Quiet? The words _‘Loras’_ and _‘quiet’_ don’t even belong in the same sentence,” he stated sarcastically.

“Shut up,” Loras retorted as he reached down with one hand, grabbing both himself and Renly, and squeezing tightly. Renly growled a little at his squire’s brazenness. As Loras’s hand continued to work both of them to a full erection, Renly realized that they had not come fully prepared.

“We didn’t bring any oil,” he stated, silently wondering if this bit of information would stop Loras in his tracks.

“It’s doesn’t matter. I can handle it,” Loras stated with his usual self-assuredness, continuing to rapidly work his hand, the pre-cum from his own tip gently sliding across Renly’s tip. A soft moan escaped Renly’s lips. That was it...there was no use fighting it any longer. Loras had won again.

Renly stuck his middle finger in his mouth to wet is as much as possible, and then placed his arm in between Loras’s legs. He would do his best to attempt to stretch him without the aid of any oil. Once finding the spot, Renly inserted one finger and let Loras ride it, hoping that this would be sufficient.

Once feeling that he had done as much as he could, Renly removed his hand and reached both arms around Loras to grab him by his ass, pulling his pelvis in closer to his own. Loras rocked and grinded for a few moments, with Renly eventually looking up and noticing that about 15 feet in front of him was a large full-length mirror supported by a sturdy wooden base. It was positioned at just the right angle to allow Renly to see every move he and Loras were making. Renly paused for a moment, and then spoke softly in Loras’s ear. “Turn around and face the other way for me.”

Loras looked up and obeyed, climbing off Renly and turning around before sitting back down on him. Upon noticing the mirror himself, Loras realized why he had been asked to change his position. A large smile spread across the squire’s face. He grabbed onto the armrests and dug his heels onto the edge of the chair so that he could lift his body up enough to allow Renly full access into his ass. Once he felt Renly in the right spot, Loras began to slowly lower himself onto his Lord’s cock. Not having brought the oil with them from Storm’s End, it was going to take Loras a little longer than usual to manage it. And while Renly felt slightly guilty about it, there was a part of him that was pleased they had no oil because now the entire process of him entering Loras would last longer. And with the discovery of the perfectly positioned mirror, Renly could watch every glorious second of it.

Renly grabbed onto Loras’s hips to help stabilize him as the squire pressed down on the hard, dry cock beneath him. Within the mirror he could see Loras’s face, scrunched up with a combination of pain and pleasure, as he pressed on. As each moment wore on, Renly could see less and less of his own cock visible in the mirror, knowing it was being slowly consumed by Loras’s ass.

Struggling a bit, and knowing he had not fully sheathed his Lord yet, Loras leaned back on Renly’s chest and exhaled, exhausted at the arduous task of taking him dry. “It hurts,” Loras mumbled while resting for a second. “I can’t.”

Renly coaxed him on. “You’re doing so good...please don’t stop. Take me all, Loras. I know you can do it.” Rejuvenated with his lover’s encouragement, Loras firmly gripped the armrests of the chair, replanted his heels on the edge of the seat cushion, and pressed down slowly but forcefully, groaning loudly at the same time, until he could go no further – having finally taken the entire length of Renly into his body.

Renly grabbed and squeezed Loras around the waist, feeling the hot tightness of his ass now fully surrounding his entire throbbing erection. “Oh fuck! Fuck, you feel so good, Loras,” he hissed. Renly turned his attention back to the mirror to see Loras’s face begin to relax as he became less uncomfortable. Renly pulled Loras back against his chest so that he could take the brunt of Loras’s weight and allow him to relax, the squire clearly having done more than his fair share of the work thus far. Renly rolled his hips gently, careful to not thrust completely upward for fear of hurting his partner.

Renly stared into the mirror, completely mesmerized at the site of his boy riding him dry. Loras’s legs were spread wide apart and Renly could see his young stretched ass taking in every inch of him. Every time Loras rose and lowered himself it looked like he was being impaled on Renly’s cock. Between the visual arousal of it all and the stimulation provided by the tightness of Loras’s ass, Renly was brought quickly to the edge.

“I’m going to come, Loras! Fuck!” Renly tried burying his mouth in Loras’s shoulder to try to deaden the groans of pleasure that he could not hold back. With each burst of cum that was shot deep inside of Loras, his squire in return slammed down hard on his cock, creating even more pleasure than he had ever thought imaginable.

“FUCK!!! FUCK, RENLY!!! FUUUUUUUUCCCCKKK!!!” Loras screamed at the top of his lungs as cum shot straight out of him, landing clear across the room on the floor. He threw his head back on Renly’s shoulder as a few more expletives, moans and groans emerged from his throat. Loras’s entire body then suddenly went limp as he slumped backwards on Renly’s chest, his arms dropping down by his sides, and his legs now dangling loosely in the air off either side of Renly’s.

Renly continued to stare at their reflection – an image which showed them panting, sweating, and still fully attached to one another. _'Shit...we have to get a mirror like that for home,'_ he thought.

******************************************************

A few hours later Loras and Renly entered the dining room, freshly washed, dressed and ready for the evening meal. Lady Olenna, already seated at the head of the table, looked up and studied the two for a moment before speaking.

“I trust you boys have worked up an appetite with your...extracurricular activities?” she stated sharply, looking directly at Renly.

“Ah huh! I’m starving,” Loras chirped while sitting down beside her and grabbing a plate.

Renly stood there completely stunned, not able to move. He knew somebody had probably heard them earlier, but had not expected anybody to actually call them out on it.

Margaery walked over to Renly and took his elbow as she guided him toward the dining room table. “Don’t worry. We all know...and it’s okay,” she said under her breath so only he could hear her.

Renly quickly turned his head to look directly at Margaery, not quite believing what he had heard. _‘They all know?'_ he thought. She reassuringly squeezed his arm and continued. “Loras tells me everything. We’re incredibly close. We’ve actually all known for a while.”

Having reached the table, Margaery released Renly’s arm and he sat down completely stunned beside Loras, who was already shoveling his dinner into his mouth.

“Eat up, Lord Renly,” Lady Olenna stated. “You need to regain your strength I imagine.”

Renly leaned over and angrily whispered in Loras’s ear. “I’m going to ring your neck when we get home.”

Loras just smirked coyly at him while he continued eating. He knew all would be forgiven by the time they made it back to Storm’s End. Renly could never stay mad at him...and especially not after an episode of sex like that.


	17. "Ser Loras"

Renly stepped into the grand and elegant hall, scanned the room, and upon seeing the Tyrell family in the second row, proceeded to sit down beside them. The pageantry of this event was something King’s Landing was quite familiar with and one that Renly had attended dozens of times before. King Robert would be knighting the next group of young men who had proven their worthiness of the elite title. The one major difference this time was that Loras was to be among them.

The knights-to-be stood off in a group by themselves toward the back of the hall waiting for the ceremony to officially begin, upon which each young man would walk down the center aisle and bend the knee in front of King Robert. Robert would in turn ordain each of them with the title of knight and from that point forward each man would be referred to as “Ser.” Loras was undoubtedly the youngest of the group – still a few months shy of turning 16. Renly pondered that thought as he sat waiting for the ceremony to begin. It was rare for someone so young to be knighted. Not impossible of course, as Jaime Lannister was only 15 when he was knighted, but it took an unusual amount of skill and talent to be as young as Loras and still be deemed worthy of the noble title of knight. This was a title that had to be earned, it could not be bought or inherited, and many young men were never able to obtain it. Renly smiled to himself knowing that Loras would now be compared to Jaime Lannister, the Kingslayer himself.

The crowd hushed as the ceremony finally began. As the first young man made his way down the center aisle and toward King Robert, Renly took the time to admire Loras, still standing in the back and in his new armor. Mace had taken Loras to purchase it at Tobho Mott's shop on the Street of Steel in King's Landing in preparation for the ceremony and he had spared no expense on it. Renly himself had wanted to get it for Loras, but stepped aside to allow Mace this important milestone moment with his son.

Seeing that Loras’s turn would take several more minutes, Renly began looking around at the audience who had come to watch. He glanced at Margaery beside him, who was clearly beaming with excitement. He smiled at the expression on her face, his eyes then wandering up to the balcony area. Sitting up high, and as far away from the more common folk as she could possibly get, was Robert’s wife Cersei and their three children. Renly studied her hard and serious face. At one time he felt sympathy for her as Robert’s infidelity was well-known, but time had altered those feelings. He glanced at his two golden haired nephews and niece sitting beside her. Word of Cersei’s own infidelity had spread like wildfire, and if what was being said was true, then Renly knew he was not the biological uncle of Joffery, Myrcella and Tommen. Even so, he had developed a true fondness and love for the younger two. They were sweet and innocent, unscathed yet by the harshness of the world – or their mother. But Joffrey was a different matter entirely. Renly watched as his eldest nephew’s pinched and entitled face glared down at the crowd, fully believing that everyone there was far beneath him. Joffrey would be king after his father died, whenever that might be, and he made sure that everybody in King’s Landing knew it. “Condescending little prick,” Renly murmured under his breath as he shook his head. _‘May the gods help the Seven Kingdoms when he becomes king,”_ he thought to himself. Never had he had the inclination to want to strike a child across the face...not until Joffrey.

Margaery leaned over to tug Renly’s arm, pulling his attention back to the ceremony. “Loras is next!” she said excitedly, her hands pulled into tiny fists, barely containing her excitement. Lady Olenna watched on with a more dignified disposition, but nonetheless clearly proud of her grandson. Mace could only be described as close to bursting. Renly could see the older man trying to hold back tears of joy as Loras took his turn walking down the long center aisle towards Robert - with all eyes upon him and his glorious new armor. Upon reaching the front of the room, Loras held his helmet in his arm, knelt before Robert, and bowed his head. Attached to his hip was the nameday sword that Renly had given him almost two years prior.

“Loras Tyrell of House Tyrell,” Robert began while placing his sword on Loras’s right shoulder. “Do you swear before the eyes of gods and men to defend those who cannot defend themselves, to protect all women and children, to obey your captains, your liege lord, and your king, to fight bravely when needed and do such other tasks as are laid upon you, however hard or humble or dangerous they may be?”

“I do, Your Grace.”

King Robert then moved his sword to Loras’s left shoulder. “You may now rise, Ser Loras.”

Loras turned around as the crowd applauded, his face beaming with pride. He scanned the crowd left to right before locking eyes with Renly and giving him the biggest smile Renly had ever seen. Never had Renly felt prouder of anybody than he did at this very moment.

As the ceremony came to a close the crowd began exiting the building. Renly rose from his seat and stood in place, waiting for the crowd to thin a bit more so that he could make his way toward Loras to congratulate him. Sensing eyes upon him, he turned to his right to see Petyr Baelish approaching him.

“Ah, Lord Renly! Whatever will you do now that your little squire has flown the coop? House Tyrell has far more money than House Baratheon and I imagine Ser Loras will no longer need you. You must be quite nervous about suddenly finding yourself... alone?”, his words dripping with sarcasm.

Renly glared back at his fellow Small Council member. Littlefinger was a known master manipulator and Renly saw this for what it was - simply an attempt to plant seeds of doubt in his mind. “Not at all, Lord Baelish. But thank you for your concern. I’m sure you yourself have never succumbed to loneliness, what with all the whores at your brothel providing you comfort and companionship.”

Petyr continued with a sneer. “Well, please know that if you ever _are_  lonely, my brothel specializes in people with your...how should I put this? Your...depraved proclivities,” his words full of contempt.

Renly felt the skin on the back of his neck begin to burn, but maintained a stoic face amid the insult. He turned away to look at Loras, who was receiving hugs and congratulations from his family members.

Petyr followed Renly’s gaze and persisted. “Well, you clearly taught him well – all the skills a squire would need to become a fine knight. But what else did you teach him, Lord Renly? What did you teach him behind closed doors....in the darkness...without his clothes on? I’m sure Mace Tyrell would love to know the answer to that question. I’m sure the Faith of the Seven would like to know. I’m sure everybody in King’s Landing would like to know.”

“You will excuse me, Lord Baelish. I know how busy you must be...far too busy to be concerned about my affairs.” Renly took a few steps before stopping and turning back around. “You know, I do pity you Petyr.”

Petyr glared back at him. “Pray tell me, Lord Renly. Why is it you pity me?”

Renly feigned a warm smile as he replied. “We’re all aware of your being so unlucky in love. And for all the gold and silver your brothel brings you, it’s still not enough to buy you true love...is it? Not even from a whore.”

Renly turned his back to disengage, leaving Petyr to himself, and walked over to the Tyrell group. He waited for Loras to finish speaking with each family member. Upon doing so, Loras turned and noticed Renly, rushing forward to embrace him. Renly politely patted Loras on the back, the hardness of his metal armor reverberating with each thump of his hand. Renly was keenly aware that many eyes were still upon them...both from the floor as well as the balcony.

“I’m so happy! Do you like my new armor? My father had the Highgarden sigil placed on the chest! Did you see me walking from the back? I owe you so much. This has been the most exciting day of my life! If it weren’t for you, I know I wouldn’t be here today,” Loras spoke rapid-fire, not allowing Renly the chance to reply to one statement before spewing forth the next. He then moved closer to Renly’s and whispered in his ear “I love you _so_  much.”

Renly smiled and stepped back a pace, putting a more socially acceptable distance between them for any eyes that might still be watching. He would be sure to show Loras exactly how much he loved him later on that evening. Renly took one more glance around the now almost empty hall, “Let’s take our leave now, shall we.... _Ser Loras_?” he offered with a twinkle in his eye, noticing Loras’s very animated reaction and broad smile to being addressed by his new title.

Renly followed the Tyrell family out of the hall and underneath the just darkening sky. Margaery had grabbed onto Loras's arm, showering him with comments of praise and compliments on his new armor. Renly fell back a few paces. His head was being pulled in a dozen different directions. Loras was no longer his squire, causing yet another chapter of their ever changing relationship to unfold. And as much as he tried to disregard Littlefinger’s terse words, there was a gnawing in the back of his mind. What if Littlefinger was right? What if Loras chose to leave Storm’s End in pursuit of other endeavors? Renly prayed that Loras becoming a knight would not alter their relationship from what it was. But the fact remained that Loras was no longer required to remain under his care, or at Storm’s End for that matter. He now had the ability to go wherever his heart took him. After almost 16 years of being told what to do by his family and when to do it, he would not blame Loras if he jumped at the opportunity to make his own way in the world. Loras’s knighthood had the potential to bring them closer...or drive them apart. Only time would tell what the future held for them both.


	18. A New Office

Renly had been in his office chamber all morning, finally finding the time to actually rearrange and organize it the way he wanted. With the flurry of recent trips back and forth to Highgarden and King’s Landing, he had not been home long enough to undertake the task until now. Robert had left the room in complete disarray when using it for himself in years past and Renly was happy to be able to finally reclaim it as his own and decorate it as he pleased. He had pushed some of Robert’s abandoned items to one side and stood back to admire the brand new desk that had just arrived that morning. It was large, elegant and sturdy - not a scratch or blemish on it.

Just then Loras knocked and entered the office, clearly exasperated. “HERE you are! I’ve been wandering around the castle for hours trying to find you. What are you doing? Why didn’t you tell me you were here?”

“I didn’t realize I had to check in with you,” Renly stated with a grin, somewhat amused at Loras’s bossy tone and clear annoyance at not being informed of Renly’s every move.

While no longer his squire, Loras had not strayed far. He had decided to remain at Storm’s End and traveled with Renly wherever he might be needed to fulfill his duties as Master of Laws. Loras still made frequent trips back to Highgarden or to King’s Landing to participate in tourney’s, but aside from that he could generally be found at Storm’s End. He and Renly had been inseparable prior to his knighthood, and nothing was about to change that as far as Loras was concerned.

“A package arrived for you from Highgarden,” Loras replied.

Renly looked inquisitively at the parcel that Loras placed on a nearby table. “It’s from my grandmother,” Loras continued. “I think she might have sent you a nameday gift.”

Renly rolled his eyes at the mention of Lady Olenna. “Wonderful. An assortment of prunes I imagine?” he stated with a chuckle. He proceeded to open up the package and pulled out a several bottles of red wine that had been made exclusively in Highgarden. He smiled at the kind gesture, remembering how a few months ago he had casually mentioned to Lady Olenna how much better Highgarden’s wine was than the swill they made in Storm’s End.

“This was very kind of your grandmother, Loras. I will send her a thank-you letter tomorrow by raven.”

Loras nodded. “So what are you doing down here anyway?”

“I’m finally getting around to making this office my own. Do you like my new desk?” Renly asked proudly with a grand gesture of his arm.

Loras examined the new piece of furniture and shrugged. “What was wrong with the old desk?” he asked.

“Well, besides the fact that it belonged to Robert, it was extremely old and scratched up. Plus it had a broken leg and it wobbled every time I sat down to write a letter. I figured since I’m turning 21, I would get myself a new desk.”

Loras looked back at the desk and frowned. “I wish you had told me that’s what you wanted. I would have gotten it for you myself.” Renly had been so generous to Loras over the years and he had been hoping to do something substantial in return for his Lord’s nameday. But Loras had been wracking his brains for weeks – because what DO you get a Lord who already has everything?

Renly looked up from admiring his desk and noticed the scowl on Loras’s face. He smiled and approached Loras, putting his hands on the new knight’s shoulders. “There’s no need for you to buy me anything for my nameday, _Ser Loras_.” Loras’s scowl turned into a bright smile. He was still getting accustomed to hearing the new title and Renly never missed an opportunity to say it to him.

“But you’ve been so good to me over these past four years and turning 21 is an important nameday. I just have no idea what to give you,” Loras sighed with frustration.

“Well, there _is_  something you could give me for my nameday,” Renly smiled. “Something I want very, very much, that only my Knight of Flowers can give me.” Loras looked up knowingly and smiled.

Renly took Loras by the hand and walked him behind the desk, placed his hands on Loras’s waist and pushed him back until he was leaning against the desk. Renly hands quickly undid Loras’s britches and pulled them down past his knees before turning Loras completely around so that he was now facing the desk and away from Renly. Renly placed one hand on the knight’s shoulders, forcing him to completely bend over the desk. Loras positioned his hands on the desktop and turned his head to the side, feeling the coolness of the smooth wood on his left cheek. Keeping one hand firmly on Loras’s back to prevent him from standing up, Renly took his other hand and opened up the top drawer in order to remove a small jar of oil that he had placed there. Loras remained still as he heard the cover of the jar open, then promptly felt Renly’s fingers insert themselves into his body. He closed his eyes as he allowed Renly full control, with each movement of his fingers causing Loras to suck in his breath as a sense of desire began to build inside him.

Loras felt the fingers being pulled out far quicker than he would have preferred, but he decided not to protest. After all, it was Renly’s nameday, not his.

Renly stood above Loras, appreciative of how his partner remained so still and compliant for him – a bit unusual for Loras, especially since being knighted. Over the past few months since the ceremony Loras had been very vocal in demonstrating that he wanted equal say on all matters. He wanted more control in their relationship, which had up until this point in time clearly been steered by Renly. And given this recent change in their relationship, Renly appreciated this rare and unusual silent compliance Loras was giving him even more so.

Renly ran his right hand up the outside of Loras’s thigh and over his buttock – admiring his perfectly shaped bottom. Loras was toned and far more muscular than he had been this time last year. Years of training, in addition to simply aging up, had sculpted his boyish body into that of a young man’s. He bent over and ran his tongue from between Loras’s shoulder blades all the way down his spine and past the arch of his back, before kissing his skin just above his left buttock while squeezing the right side of his bottom with his hand.

Loras continued to remain perfectly still as he heard Renly partially removing his own pants. He then closed his eyes as he felt the wonderfully familiar sensation of the man he loved entering him – gently as first, as always, then slowly increasing with intensity. Renly placed both hands on the desk and with each pulse pushed Loras further into the wooden desk. Had it not been so incredibly heavy, the desk certainly would have been pushed clear across the room given the force Renly was now using.

As Renly plunged harder and harder into him, Loras reached his arms up so he could grip the front edge of the desk for stability. He turned his face so his forehead was resting on the desk and he could see his breath forming condensation patterns on the desktop as he panted. As wonderful as it felt, Loras’s thighs were beginning to ache as they made hard contact with the desk over and over with each shove of Renly’s hips. He would have preferred to have been bent over a soft mattress or a plush couch rather than this dam desk. But again, it was Renly’s nameday and not his, so he held his tongue – a rather difficult task for Loras.

Renly watched from above, noticing Loras’s white knuckles gripping the edge of the desktop. He began to hear Loras’s muffled yet familiar grunts and moans. Each thrust was pushing both he and Loras closer to the edge. Renly removed his hands from the desk and gripped Loras’s hips instead, so that with each plunge Renly could pull Loras’s pelvis back, forcing the knight to take even more of him. In doing so it became more comfortable for Loras, his thighs finally receiving a reprieve from slamming against the rigid desk.

Loras felt a wave of pleasure starting to build up and, sensing he could not contain himself a moment longer, called out, “Gods! Don’t stop! I’m going to come, Renly!”

Renly pulled back and with one more forceful thrust sent Loras out of his mind, causing him to ejaculate all over the top of the new desk. Renly followed momentarily, coming deep inside Loras.

Once able, Loras rose up on his elbows to see the damage. He had made quite a mess – a pool of white cum all over the top of the brand new desk and one area that had already begun to drip down the front of the desk.

“I’m sorry, Renly. I made a mess out of your new desk.”

Renly wrapped his arms around Loras’s waist and pulled him back up into a standing position. “That’s okay. It can be wiped away,” he stated while kissing Loras’s neck and holding him close. “What will NEVER be wiped away is the memory I now have of you on this desk – beautiful, naked and bent over it just for me - each and every time I sit down to work. THAT is a gift that will never break or wear out – one that no amount of gold could buy, and one that I will keep forever.”

Loras turned his head slightly toward his lover, resting it on his shoulder as he smiled up at him, beaming at the realization that he himself gave Renly the best nameday gift anybody could. “Happy nameday, my Lord. I’m glad you got everything you wanted.”


	19. The Fight

“WHY?” Loras screamed at the top of his lungs while storming around Renly’s chamber completely enraged. “Why would you do this to me? You know how hard I’ve worked! It’s the reason I came here to train when I was 12! I DON’T UNDERSTAND!” Loras had just discovered that Renly had asked King Robert to remove his name from the list of eligible men to be appointed to the Kingsguard. Renly had pulled the rug out from under his feet and for the life of him Loras could not understand why.

Trying to calm the situation, Renly spoke in a cool tone while trying to explain his position. “Look Loras, I know you’re angry. But I know what’s best for you. The Kingsguard isn’t going anywhere. Perhaps next year you can...”

“NEXT YEAR?” Loras exploded while cutting him off. “Next fucking year?! But I’m ready NOW! I’m one of the best swordsmen in Westeros and you fucking know it!” Loras’s face was becoming redder by the second. “Besides, you can’t tell me what to do! I’m not your squire anymore! I’m a knight! Knighted at 15, in fact!”

“I am well aware of that, _SER_  Loras,” Renly stated somewhat sarcastically. “I was there at the ceremony if you remember. And aside from your father, there wasn’t a soul there prouder of you than I. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that...”

Loras continued on with his rant, not allowing Renly to finish his sentence. “I beat Gregor Clegane at the tourney in King’s Landing just last week!” he shouted as he pushed a large stack of papers off a table, causing them to scatter upward and into the air before fluttering down to the ground. “You saw it with your own eyes!”

Renly shook his head and threw his arms up in exasperation. Since being knighted Loras had become quite impossible. Becoming a knight so young and receiving so much praise and adulation from everyone, the former squire had become overly confident in thinking that the next open spot in the Kingsguard would automatically be appointed to him.

Renly watched silently for a few moments as Loras continued to storm around the room, knocking items off shelves and kicking chairs over along with anything else that crossed his path. It was like watching a 2 year old in the midst of a tantrum. Renly shook his head as he began to speak. “And this is _exactly_  why you shouldn’t enter the Kingsguard right now. You think you’re on a different level than everybody else, but you’re simply immature and arrogant. You may be able to beat almost anybody in a joust, but being on the battlefield doesn’t have the same rules as a tournament.”

Loras scoffed as he threw his hands out in the air and continued yelling. “I beat Gregor Clegane! AND I beat Jaime Lannister before that, the King Slayer himself! What more do you want?”

“Everybody has a bad day, Loras. Even Jaime Lannister. That doesn’t make you the best in Westeros.”

“Well, I say it does! I belong in the Kingsguard and I know Robert would have appointed me if you hadn’t ruined my chances!” Loras bellowed while yet another innocent chair was kicked and overturned for dramatic effect.

Growing weary of the outburst, Renly glared at Loras. “You’re acting like a hysterical woman right now, Loras. Tell me...is it your time of the month by any chance?”

Loras balled his fists up and growled like an angry animal at such a demeaning insult. He lunged forward as fast as a direwolf and pushed Renly back several feet, causing him to stumble backwards before regaining his balance.

Renly’s eyes turned dark as he steadied himself. “You need to know your place! I’m fourth in line for the Iron Throne and....”

“Fourth in line, Lord of Storm’s End, and Master of Laws...PFFT!,” Loras shouted back dismissively with a toss of his hand to indicate what he thought of Renly’s titles. “Know my place?! FUCK YOU!” he screamed at the top of his lungs.

Just then Renly saw Loras grab something off of the table and throw it. It happened so fast he didn’t even see what it was, but Renly ducked just in time to feel it lightly graze the side of his head before smashing into pieces on the wall behind him. He spun around to see that it had been a glass pitcher that was now shattered into hundreds of tiny shards of glass on the floor.

Renly reached up to touch his forehead where he had been struck and then looked at his fingers – only the slightest bit of blood, fortunately. But the blood inside him was boiling at the brazen act. He lunged forward, grabbing Loras by the throat and shoved him up against the wall. “WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!” he screamed into his face, the volume alone almost throwing Loras into a state of shock.

Loras suddenly realized what he done as he could see the beginnings of a welt starting to form above Renly’s right eyebrow. “I...I...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to throw it at your head,” he stammered, fully aware now of how angry his Lord now was.

Renly stared down at him, his vice-like grip still on Loras’s neck, pinning him to the wall. “Do you have any idea how close Westeros is to having a war break out at any moment?

Loras shook his head in the negative.

“That’s right, you don’t. Very few people do. I only know how high tensions are between the Seven Kingdoms because I have Robert in my ear. If he appointed you to the Kingsguard today and then suddenly declared war on The Vale or the Iron Islands tomorrow, who do you think would be on the frontlines of the battlefield? YOU would! Do you understand?”

Loras simply blinked, not able to speak with the pressure of Renly’s hand on his windpipe.

Renly continued on, staring hard into Loras’s eyes and speaking very slowly, emphasizing each word so that it sunk into Loras’s head. “Tensions are running high in Westeros. The world is unsettled. There are rumblings from The North that they want to remove themselves and appoint their own king. The Mad King’s daughter is making her way across Essos as we speak to reclaim the throne that she says is rightfully hers...and she’s bring an army of soldiers with her. And while all these discussions of unrest and possible war are being discussed in political meetings, YOU’RE busy handing out roses to pretty girls at tourneys!”

Loras nodded his understanding, beginning to feel most uncomfortable with Renly’s stronghold. As his own rage began to calm down, Renly removed his grip on Loras’s throat and positioned his hands on the knight’s shoulders, still keeping him pushed up against the wall.

“The rules of a tournament don’t apply on the battlefield, Loras. Because there ARE no rules. You make one mistake - one miscalculation – and your head will be rolling on the ground.” Renly’s tone softened as he continued. “And I cannot allow that to happen. I cannot...and WILL not live without you, Loras.”

Loras huffed and turned his head away, but Renly grabbed his face forcefully within his hands, compelling Loras to look at him. “I mean it, Loras. I cannot let you enter the Kingsguard just yet. I won’t prohibit it forever – next year when Robert appoints a new unit I promise I will not stand in your way. But....but for right now, I want you take a step back and see the big picture. Yes, you bested Jaime Lannister ONCE. You beat Gregor Clegane through trickery ONCE. But tomorrow either one of them could turn the table on you. Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?”

Still quite upset at having what he wanted taken away from him, Loras sulkily replied, “Yeah, sure. Whatever you say.” Renly stared hard at him. Loras looked like a child that had had his favorite toy snatched away from him.

“Loras! I love you! Don’t you get it?!” Trying to get through to Loras was like talking to a wall sometimes Renly had discovered. “If you were suddenly gone from this earth – I would have no reason to live. And I know I’m being selfish but...but I don’t want to live without you!”

Loras heard the audible hitch in Renly’s voice as he spoke those final words. He looked up into Renly’s eyes and could see the anger, fear and love intertwined in them. Loras felt his own anger start to subside, only now able to see the situation from Renly’s point of view. He had not once thought how his entering the Kingsguard could potentially affect their relationship. He only now realized that Renly’s decision had been based on love and fear, and not to intentionally undermine him.

Loras reached up to gently touch Renly’s forehead. A large red welt was now clearly visible above his right eyebrow and a thin line of bright red blood had formed in the center of it where the glass had cut him. Renly winced at the touch and pulled Loras’s hand away.

“You’ve gotten far too big for your britches, Loras. Sometimes we all need to be brought back down to earth...to realize that we are not gods or immortal.”

“I’m sorry,” Loras whispered. He was exhausted from the altercation, both physically and emotionally, and his voice was hoarse and gravelly from all his screaming.

“I’m sure you are,” Renly started. “But the fact remains you were completely out of line just now.”

Loras nodded in agreement. The last thing he wanted to do was to argue anymore.

Renly grabbed Loras by the arm and pulled him over toward the bed, roughly giving him a shove so that Loras fell on his back onto the mattress. “Do you remember the last time you were out of line?” Renly asked with dark eyes, but with a slight smile starting to emerge.

Loras looked up at him and nodded. Of course he remembered, it was just last week after all. They had had a spat over something so trivial Loras could not even remember what had started it, but when it was all said and done Renly had determined Loras had overstepped his bounds...yet again...and that a punishment was in order. Loras eyes lit up a bit at the recollection. He despised arguing with the man he loved, but the making up almost made it worth it.

Renly knelt over Loras and stripped him of every article of clothing he had on. Once he had him completely naked, Renly stood up and removed a metal box from underneath the bed. Upon opening it, Loras recognized the item from the week prior - a pair of old iron handcuffs.

Renly knelt back over the naked knight, dangling the old, rusty metal cuffs over his body so he could get a good look at them. “I’m afraid you have to be punished, Loras...AGAIN.” Renly’s eyes flickered with lust, the anger now subsided from them, as he looked down upon the one person in this world who could enrage him to the point of almost wanting to kill him and then mere moments later wanted to take into his arms and love.

Loras licked his lips as he dutifully raised his arms above his head. He knew the routine. Renly’s punishments were not so much about inflicting any real retribution, but more so to ensure that he knew Renly outranked him.

Renly applied one iron cuff to Loras’s wrist, then ran the center chain behind an iron spindle of the headboard and cuffed the second wrist. He then safely placed the key on the night stand beside the bed and proceeded to remove his own clothing.

Turning his attention back to Loras, Renly laid on top of the now restrained knight. The only screaming that would be coming from Loras now would be from pleasure, not rage. He ran his hands down Loras’s arms while planting strong kisses upon his mouth. While his blood pressure had certainly come down to a more tolerable level, Renly was still a bit fired up emotionally from the argument.

Renly moved himself down toward the foot of the bed and spread both of Loras’s legs apart so he could position himself in between them. Loras was already hard...already anticipating what was yet to come. Renly stared up at Loras for a few moments, admiring the defenseless position he was now in as well as the ocean blue eyes that were looking down on him.

Renly knelt on all fours, his mouth hovering just above Loras’s erection. He gave it one long, slow lick from balls to tip before stopping abruptly.

“Uuugggh,” Loras moaned. “Please don’t stop. Don’t tease me!”

“Tell me you’re sorry.”

Loras thrashed his head to the side, quite annoyed at the unfair tactics Renly often employed on him. “I already did!” he growled.

“Say it again.”

Loras glared down at him. He hated it when Renly got the upper hand over him. But either he said it or Renly would probably just walk out the chamber door, leaving Loras alone, naked and handcuffed to the bed for who knew how long. Renly had done that once before, and Loras did _not_  want that to happen again.

“Fine!” Loras huffed. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry I yelled at you! I’m sorry I threw the pitcher at you! I’m sorry!!! All right?!” he snarled.

Renly let out a frustrated sigh while he shook his head. “Say it like you mean it, Loras. Or this ends here,” as he gently grazed the tip of Loras’s cock with his index finger – just to ensure Loras would have no choice but to give in.

“Uuugghh!,” Loras moaned in response to being touched, and in a more gentler tone he tried again. “I’m sorry, Renly. I swear to the gods I’m sorry. I love you....I’m SO sorry. Pleeeease don’t stop – I’m begging you.”

Satisfied with the apology and added begging for good measure, Renly lowered his head and began again pleasing his Knight of Flowers. It had been a little more than two years since they had become lovers and Renly knew exactly what Loras liked. After a few moments of simple tongue strokes and flicks, he took the entirety of Loras into his mouth, keeping one eye always on Loras’s face to witness the satisfaction he was giving him.

Loras closed his eyes as he felt Renly take all of him, admiring how skilled his lover was at it. He felt like he was halfway down his lover’s throat, and yet Renly showed no struggle and seemed able to handle deep throating him as if it was nothing. If this was punishment, Loras would argue with him every day if he was guaranteed this at the end. He readjusted his arms on the pillows, hearing the soft clang of the iron cuffs making contact with the headboard.

Loras opened his eyes suddenly as he felt Renly pull off. He looked up to see Renly kneeling and simply staring at him.

“What?” Loras questioned. “Don’t stop, please.”

“No oil tonight. You’ll take me dry as your punishment.”

Loras began to protest, but Renly quickly quieted him by laying on top and roughly placing his tongue in the knight’s mouth. Renly kept one hand on the knight’s jawline and kissed him hard and feverishly. He took Loras’s bottom lip and furiously sucked on it, leaving it red and swollen. There would be no doubt by the end of the night that Renly was in charge.

After almost sucking the breath right out of Loras, Renly quickly repositioned himself back between the knight’s legs and pressed the tip of his own cock against Loras’s hole. There was a fair amount of precum already there which would serve as the minimal amount of lubrication Loras would get for his earlier outburst.

Renly pressed the tip in as Loras sucked in his breath and readied himself. He had taken Renly dry on a few occasions in the past due to the inconvenience of being on the road and not being fully prepared, but it was never his preference. Renly continued to slowly enter bit by bit. As much as Loras’s “punishment” was in place to assert Renly’s dominance, inflicting any real pain on Loras was never his desire, so he made sure to go slow and carefully. Loras pulled his legs up to his chest in an attempt to make the situation more comfortable. He instinctively tried to pull his arms down to grab Renly’s shoulders, but was quickly reminded by the iron handcuffs that that was not going to be possible. Renly was soon more than halfway in – past the point of any real discomfort for Loras – and within a few more seconds both men groaned simultaneously as Loras fully sheathed him. For Renly it was a sensation of heat and tightness that was overwhelming him – being inside his lover’s body and having complete control over Loras by restraining him. And for Loras, it was a feeling of fullness and pressure that was creating a build up of heated arousal, as well as knowing that it was his body alone that his lover craved night after night.

The two worked themselves in a rhythmic pattern of stimulation with Renly pushing into Loras with a fair amount of force before backing off. Loras instinctively began rocking his hips to and fro in time with Renly. They were like a well-oiled machine – they knew each others patterns and movements before they were even made and knew how to please the other with no words needing to be spoken.

With each thrust Renly was hitting Loras’s prostate, causing the knight to come closer and closer to orgasm. Loras thrashed his head from side to side on the pillow, attempting to push off the inevitable just a few minutes longer. Renly smiled down knowingly on his most prized possession, completely satisfied at what he saw. And what he saw was the most handsome man in Westeros on the verge of coming for him alone....submissively handcuffed to his bed, beads of sweat on his forehead, long damp curls stuck to the side of his perfect face, legs spread wide open and ass stretched to its maximum while being impaled on his cock. A more beautiful image would be impossible to find, Renly surmised.

Loras began to silently mouth something over and over, too softly to be heard, but Renly knew exactly what he was saying as he could read his lips. “Louder Loras – I want to hear you!”

Loras partially opened his hazy eyes and repeated his mumblings as loud as his hoarse voice would allow. “Fuck me! Fuck me hard, Renly! Please fuck me!”

Loras threw his head back as a scream began to emerge from this throat. Renly knew he was about to come and picked up the pace of his thrusting. He began slamming up against Loras as hard as he could, with Loras in turn thrashing, screaming and pulling so hard on the handcuffs that the clanging of iron on iron was almost deafening – all in addition to the thud of the bed slamming against the wall. Renly came first, relieving himself deep inside his lover, with Loras coming a few seconds after, a mess of white cum shooting all over his abdomen.

Renly collapsed in a heap beside his paramour as they both gasped for air to refill their lungs. He watched as Loras’s chest heaved and listened to the soft panting as he recovered. Once feeling the strength in his legs return, Renly rose and promptly cleaned up the mess on Loras’s stomach. He then retrieved the key from the night table in order to release Loras from his constraints and proceeded to lay back down beside him.

Loras looked at each of his sore wrists and began to rub them. The old iron cuffs were unforgiving and too tight and had left red marks on his skin when he was wrenching his arms.

Renly took one of Loras’s hands and began to gently kiss the red marks on his wrist. Loras smiled at the intimate gesture, before noticing again the red welt above Renly’s eye. He was suddenly filled with a flood of emotions from the day’s events. As much as he was still angry that his dream of being in the Kingsguard had been pushed back by at least a year, he also knew that there wasn’t anybody in Westeros who loved him as much as Renly did. And for that reason alone, he could accept putting his dream on hold – not permanently, but for a short while.

“Just a minute,” Loras whispered quietly as he slipped out of the bed. He came back with a clean wet cloth and gently pressed it to Renly’s brow. Renly winced at the sting of it and pulled his head away.

“Hold still! Let me clean it,” Loras croaked, his voice gravelly and almost gone from the fight earlier. “There’s just a little blood, not much, but I need to clean it for you.” Renly complied and allowed Loras to finish the task.

Loras tossed the cloth onto the floor when done and nestled himself under Renly’s arm. “I really am sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

Renly grinned at the raspy sound of his lover’s voice. “And I never meant to hurt you either, Loras. I’m sorry as well.” Renly kissed the top of his knight’s head and pulled him in as close as humanly possibly.

“But no more tantrums, Loras. No more kicking my chairs over or throwing glass pitchers at my head. Am I understood?” Renly stated in a soft tone.

Loras laughed softly and agreed.

“Next year,” Renly continued, “You’ll be a year older...a year stronger...and a year wiser. And with any luck, this world will be in a calmer, more settled state.”

Loras curled up in his usual cat-like position against Renly’s chest, letting his lover stroke his hair with his fingers as sleep began to drift over him, his body completely fatigued from the squabble as well as the sex. Renly, however, remained awake for a while pondering the fate of the Seven Kingdoms...as well as the fate of their own lives and what the unknown future might have in store for them. He glanced down at a now completely silent (for the first time today) and sleeping Loras. A smile formed across Renly’s face as a few highlights from the argument continued to flash through his mind. It amazed him how Loras had the uncanny ability to be a defiant, pouting, bossy and unreasonable little tyrant one moment, and then in the next return to being the endearing, lovable creature that he loved so much.

Eventually Renly began to feel drowsy himself. His last thought before surrendering to sleep was that he was only postponing the inevitable. If Loras wanted to join the Kingsguard, there was nothing that would stop him.


	20. A Change of Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally this was just going to be a prequel and I was going to end it where the books and TV show picked up....but I guess at this point I will bring it to a finish. So there will be a few more chapters after this before I bring it to a closing.

Loras rode his horse toward King’s Landing at breakneck speed. All he knew was that Robert was dead and Renly had witnessed it. He did not have all the details yet, but he knew he had to get to King’s Landing as soon as possible.

Upon arriving, Loras jumped off his horse and ran into the castle and towards the room Renly was occupying. Loras opened the chamber door to see a very bloodied Renly sitting completely still and frozen in a chair. He was as motionless as a stone, blankly staring straight ahead of him. Loras could see Renly’s hands were trembling ever so slightly as they hung limply over the armrest of the chair. He had clearly been traumatized from whatever he had witnessed.

Loras turned to the two chambermaids standing just outside the room. “I need a hot bath to be drawn up immediately for Lord Renly.” The maids set off at once to accomplish the task, coming back every few minutes with fresh buckets of hot water to place into a tub that was already situated in the room.

While that was being taken care of, Loras walked over toward Renly and knelt down, placing one hand on his thigh and grasping Renly’s blood stained hand with his other. “Are you okay? What happened? I came as soon as I heard.”

Renly turned his head very slowly toward Loras, as if only now realizing he had even entered the room. His face had splatters of blood strewn across it, his shirt was drenched in blood, and his hands were covered in it as well.

Renly opened his mouth as if to speak, but hesitated and shook his head.

“It’s all right,” Loras coaxed while grasping one of Renly’s arm to gently squeeze it. “Just tell me what happened.”

Renly’s voice was shaky and weak. “Hunting...we were hunting. It was a boar. Robert didn’t die right away. We managed to get him back here alive, but...” his voice trailing off at the end.

“It’s okay. Here, let me help clean you up.” Loras arose and walked over to a table to retrieve a basin of water that had been set out and came back with it as well as a clean cloth. He knelt back down on the floor and began to remove the majority of the blood from Renly’s hands. He knew how much Renly hated the sight of blood and made his best effort to remove as much of it as possible until a proper bath could be drawn.

“Robert was drunk,” Renly continued softly. “He was drunk and he thought he could take down that boar single-handedly. I...I...I don’t know what happened. It all happened so fast. I...I couldn’t save him. None of us could.” Renly shook his head as if still in a state of disbelief of what he had witnessed.

“You're going to be okay. It’s all over now,” Loras said calmly, dipping the cloth into the water and wringing it out, the water now turning red. He then turned his attention to removing some of the blood splatter from Renly’s face, not sure if it had belonged to Robert or the boar.

“I know I should be feeling something. Robert was my eldest brother but....I feel nothing. I don’t feel sorrow...I don’t mourn his loss. I just feel...numb.” Renly stared straight ahead of him, still in a slight state of shock.

Loras continued to dab away at Renly’s face, not quite sure what the right words were to say at a moment such as this. It was difficult for Loras to fully understand how Renly felt. If anything ever happened to Margaery, he would be completely devastated. But Renly and his brothers had never been close.

Upon seeing that the chambermaids had finally filled the tub up high enough, Loras dismissed them and then locked the door behind them. He removed Renly’s blood spattered boots and then took hold of his arms in order to help him to his feet before proceeding to undress him for the bath. Renly’s shirt was so saturated with blood it practically had to be peeled off of him. Once all the bloodied clothing had been removed, Loras walked Renly toward the now steaming tub and assisted him into it.

“There. Just lay back and relax. I’m going to take care of you,” Loras stated gently. He picked up a sponge and began to wash the remainder of the blood from his Lord’s body that he was not able to get before. With each stroke he watched the water change color as swirls of pink-red began to cloud what was once clear.

“I think I feel more sympathy for the boar than I do Robert. Does that sound terrible to you?” Renly asked, lifting his head up slightly and turning to look at Loras. Loras simply shook his head and continued to wipe away at Renly’s chest. “Robert is dead because of his own thirst for blood and stupidity for getting drunk. But what did the boar do?” Renly asked.

Loras shrugged and continued to listen, assuming that it was just a rhetorical question. He continued bathing Renly, simply allowing him to ramble on as he processed the ordeal in his own way.

“I mean, it’s not like the boar woke up this morning, sauntered out of the woods, took his morning shit, and then went up to Robert and said ‘Oh, would you kindly put a spear through my heart today, Your Grace?’” Renly balled his fists up and began breathing heavily, becoming more and more agitated at reliving the event in his mind.

“Lean forward for me,” Loras directed, attempting to distract Renly and change the subject from the innocently slaughtered boar. “I need to wash your hair,” he continued. Loras sat on the edge of the tub and using a small bowl began to pour water over Renly’s head and through his hair, watching as the water then trickled down his back, adding more blood to the tub water.

Upon finishing the task, Loras took his hands and gently guided Renly’s head back so that he could rest his neck on the back edge of the tub. He took a thick dry towel and placed it under Renly’s neck. “There – just relax for a few minutes, okay?” The water was still quite hot and Renly closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths while doing so. Loras grabbed a stool so that he could sit directly behind Renly’s head and placed his arms around his Lord’s shoulders, still gently stroking his chest with the sponge even though all traces of blood were now completely gone from his skin.

After a few minutes of complete silence, Renly opened his eyes and spoke. “Robert never got the chance to appoint you to the Kingsguard.”

Loras cleared his throat. Although he hated to admit it, that was the first thing that crossed his mind when he heard of Robert’s death – that he had lost his chance to join the Kingsguard. Joffrey was a little prick and the likelihood of him bestowing that honor on Loras was slim. And while Loras knew this would not have been the appropriate time for he himself to bring the matter up, Renly had opened the discussion himself.

“Yes, I know. And with Joffrey to be sitting on the Iron Throne, there’s little luck of that ever happening now,” Loras stated a little dejectedly.

“There’s been a lot of discussion around here, even before Robert’s passing,” Renly continued. “There are a great many who are going to challenge the rightful succession of Joffrey...or even Tommen...to claim the Iron Throne.”

Loras released hold of the sponge into the water allowing it to float away and placed his own bare hand on Renly’s chest as he continued to listen.

“They’re not Robert’s biological children – none of them.”

“I know,” Loras replied softly.

“Which means neither of them are the rightful heirs to the throne. And that leaves my brother Stannis as next in line. A man who inspires no love or loyalty. Is that truly what is best for the Seven Kingdoms? Is that what is best for the people we rule?” Renly asked with clear frustration.

Loras wrapped both his arms tightly around Renly’s chest, placing his lips close to Renly’s ear. “Stannis is not a king. But you...YOU would make a wonderful king. People love you. They love to be near you. You’re not blood-thirsty or cruel...you’re kind and you’re fair. You’re exactly the kind of king the people need right now.”

Renly heaved a large sigh, understanding fully what Loras was implying. And it wasn’t that the thought had never crossed his own mind either, but until the recent evidence of Robert’s bastard children and Cersei’s own infidelity coming to light, sitting on the Iron Throne seemed like an impossible dream that was far out of reach. But now the only obstacle in his path was Stannis. A large obstacle of course, but if he had the right backing and the people’s support it was at least within the realm of possibility now.

“You know House Tyrell would back you. My father would finance and feed your army – I’m sure of it. And...and I would fight for you. I’ve never fought in a war, but I would fight for you - and you alone. I believe in you.” Loras pressed his nose and cheek against Renly’s and kissed him gently.

Renly spent a few minutes pondering over Loras’s words, his mind and body now beginning to feel more like himself as he recovered from the day’s ordeal.

“You don’t need the Kingsguard, Loras. You will serve as Lord Commander of my army - the Rainbow Guard. We will leave for Highgarden first thing in the morning to speak to your father.”

Loras smiled and retrieved the floating sponge from the water, returning to the task of gently stroking and washing Renly's body. He was honored and privileged at the title that was to be bestowed upon him and he vowed at that very moment to do everything in his power to keep Renly safe on his journey to the Iron Throne.


	21. A Marriage on Paper

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies in advance for any typos or grammar glitches...life got hectic this week and I didn't have the time to spend on this chapter as I would have liked. There will only be a few more chapters and then we will come to a "You Choose" your ending. I plan on writing an ending that goes along with the TV show/books, but also an alternative, happier ending for Loras & Renly.

Renly stood in the window at Highgarden, staring out onto the beautifully landscaped rose bushes, the pristine grass and meticulously trimmed hedges. He was in the most beautiful place in Westeros, and yet he felt the weight of the world on his shoulders.

Recollections of the past few days darted in and out of his racing mind. He was now a married man – and it had happened so quickly he barely had time to process it. He was married to his lover’s sister – an awkward situation to be certain, but politically it made perfect sense. He would have all the support and financial backing he desired from Mace Tyrell, as long as he had agreed to wed Margaery. And upon doing so, she would become queen once Renly had conquered Stannis’s army and proceeded to gain the Iron Throne.

The entire Tyrell family knew that it was a marriage on paper only, solely for political gain and nothing more. Even Margaery herself was agreeable to the terms, just so long as Renly impregnated her to produce an heir. And once that small, if not awkward detail had been taken care of, the two had agreed to find their pleasure with other partners – albeit discreetly.

Renly stepped away from the window and began to walk around the chamber room, nervously running his hands through his hair as he paced back and forth. It was in this very room that Loras came to him just four days ago...mere minutes before the wedding. He recalled the last conversation they had 

**_Loras entered the chamber and smiled at the image in front of him. Renly was dressed in his finest – a more handsome man not to be found Loras opined  – and yet he looked like he was scared to death. He walked over and put his hands on Renly’s shoulders. “It’s going to be fine – you’ll see. It’s just a marriage on paper.”_ **

**_Renly’s eyes darted back and forth nervously, almost unable to look Loras directly in the eye. “Tonight...tonight will be my wedding night. You DO understand that Loras, don’t you?”_ **

**_Loras laughed lightly. “Of course I do!”_ **

**_Renly looked at him with a bit of shock. “I have to have sex with your sister tonight. YOUR sister! Doesn’t that bother you in the least?”_ **

**_Loras waved a hand dismissively. “It simply needs to be done. So just get it done...and then return to my chamber tonight.”_ **

**_Renly shook his head unhappily as he finished buttoning up his formal coat and looked at his reflection one more time before he had to head out to the sept for the ceremony. Loras stepped in closer and while reaching into his pocket, pulled out a gold piece of jewelry. It was a brooch in the form of a golden rose with a long stem and tiny thorns. Renly looked down as Loras pinned it onto the upper left side of his chest._ **

**_There,” Loras stated as he ran his hands down the side of Renly’s arms. “You look perfect now. You become one with House Tyrell today. My grandmother will appreciate you wearing this.”_ **

**_Renly smiled and nodded before taking Loras’s face into his hands and kissing him. This would be their last kiss before he became a married man, and while Loras seemed to have come to terms with the details of the arranged marriage, Renly was not in the same frame of mind just yet._ **

Renly walked back toward the open window, a flurry of the last four days’ events still flying in and out of his head. The wedding had been beautiful...Lady Olenna seeing to it that it was a wedding worthy of her only granddaughter and potentially the future queen. The image of Margaery in her ivory dress being escorted down the center aisle by her father replayed in his mind. She had looked stunning that day. She was as beautiful a young woman as any man could ever hope for – a slightly more feminine version of Loras. But he did not love her – a hard fact of reality that he could not push aside no matter how hard he tried.

Much of the ceremony was a blur to Renly. He had not heard much of it as the septon had droned on and on, and Renly’s mind had been a million other places. The one and only moment he truly recalled was at the end, when he held Margaery’s hand as the septon tied a ribbon around their joined hands to symbolize their union. While doing so, the septon had announced, "In the sight of the Seven, I hereby seal these two souls, binding them as one for eternity." He then unraveled the ribbon - metaphorically joining he and Margaery for the rest of their lives. And then of course the most uncomfortable portion of the ceremony came upon him – having to kiss his new bride. Fortunately for him Margaery understood the inner turmoil he had been going through that day and initiated the quick kiss herself, before then turning toward the audience and allowing them to applaud. He recalled how in a sea of faces that day, Loras’s was the only one he zeroed in on. The nonverbal exchange they shared at that very moment was understood between them both – “It’s only a marriage on paper.”

Breaking Renly from his somber thoughts was the sound of his chamber door opening and Loras entering. The knight walked over to the window where Renly was still standing and put his arms around his neck to pull him in for a long kiss. Renly in turn placed his hands on the knight’s waist, pushing his fingers firmly into his hips.

“Have you missed me?” Loras asked coyly after breaking the kiss

“Of course I have. Where have you been?”

“Talking with my sister,” Loras replied.

Renly’s cheeks flushed. He had yet to consummate the marriage and he was quite sure Margaery had informed Loras of that unpleasant detail. He had tried his best the night of the wedding, but it was just too much for him to undertake after the formal ceremony and his emotions being torn every which way. Margaery had very kindly told them that they would try another night.

“We leave tomorrow morning to set up our camp,” Renly stated in an attempt to change the topic of discussion away from Margaery. “I’d like to meet with Stannis face to face and see if we can come to sort of an agreement before there is any bloodshed.”

Loras nodded, sensing the uncomfortableness in his partner’s voice. “Yes, I’m well aware. I’ve ordered all the units to be ready at dawn so that we can ride. I’ve taken care of all the details for you. But...”

Renly looked back into Loras’s eyes as he heard the pause.

“But...there is the matter of my sister. She’s been waiting for you to come to her the past few nights...and you haven’t.”

Renly sighed heavily, not wanting to discuss the matter – especially with Loras.

“We all have our roles to play in this – and yours is the most important,” Loras began gently, but firmly. “This entire situation – it’s not easy for any of us, but we have to do as my father requested.”

Renly sighed again and nodded, knowing full well that Loras was right. “I will visit her tonight – I promise.”

Loras put his arms around Renly’s strong shoulders, bringing his lips close to Renly’s ear. “When you go to her tonight, just close your eyes and pretend you’re with me. And it will be over before you even know it.”

Renly grabbed Loras’s chin and turned it up toward him, not wanting to think about any of that unpleasantness right now. Right now – at this very moment – all he wanted was Loras. He pushed Loras back a few paces until he stumbled backwards onto the mattress, and Renly quickly climbing on top. At a frenzied pace, they each took turns pulling each other’s clothing off. Between the wedding and the nightly political discussions regarding strategy, their intimate time with each other had taken a backseat.

Loras sat up and used his weight to push Renly onto his back. “Here, let me help you with what you have to do tonight. Just close your eyes...I’m not going to speak at all, and neither will Margaery when you’re with her. Just close your eyes right now and picture me in your mind, okay?”

Renly sighed softly, not seeing how this silly exercise was going to do him any good tonight, but he was willing to give it a chance. He closed his eyes tight and drew a mental picture of Loras in his mind. While envisioning him in his mind’s eye, he felt Loras’s tongue begin to flick and tease at his left nipple, gently sucking on it before moving over to the right to give it equal attention. Renly felt his hands running up and down his chest, across his lower abdomen, and eventually reaching his now hardened erection. Within another minute he felt Loras’s warm mouth and tongue covering every inch of his manhood. Renly groaned at his rising pleasure, wishing Loras would speak to him as he usually did during sex, but understanding why he wasn’t doing so on this occasion.

Soon Renly felt the slickness of oil being generously applied to him and then felt Loras position himself above him so that he could take Renly’s cock inside of him. It was at this point that Renly opened his eyes – unable to keep them shut anymore. There was nothing in the world he loved more than seeing Loras ride him, watching him take every inch he had to offer, and to not be able to watch as it happened was like a form of torture to him.

“Close your eyes!” Loras snapped at him upon noticing the noncompliance. Renly complied and as difficult a task as it was, he vowed he would keep his eyes shut until the end, only now fully grasping why Loras was giving him this important lesson.

Loras immediately then got to work, and upon fully taking Renly inside of him, began rolling and rocking his hips, trying his best to get his paramour to come quickly. Under normal circumstances they could spend long amounts of time on foreplay and teasing...but given the circumstances, it was best that Renly practiced coming as quickly as possible. And without the aid of any spoken word or visual stimulation, it was upon Renly himself to envision whatever image he needed in his head to bring him to orgasm.

Loras watched as his partner eventually threw his head back and moaned out loud, a clear sign that whatever Renly was picturing in his head was working. Loras began to pound down harder upon his lover to bring him to a full completion.

Renly’s scream was guttural and deep, and Loras knew he was shooting his seed at that very moment deep inside him. Loras gave his own neglected cock a few tugs as well so that he could satisfy himself in the process.

Once they had both been fully satisfied, Loras finally spoke. “You can open your eyes now.”

Renly opened his eyes and smiled at the vision of Loras still sitting on top of him, still fully sheathing him. He understood the purpose behind the lesson Loras had just given him and hopefully, with any luck, it would aid him tonight.

Loras removed himself from Renly’s now softening erection and flopped down beside him on the bed, each young man embracing the other in a playful form of afterplay, laughing and talking quietly between themselves as was customary between them.

Just then they both heard the sound of somebody clearing their throat and they quickly turned their attention toward the door. Margaery was standing there with a slight smile on her face. “I’m SO sorry! I knocked twice, but I guess you didn’t hear me,” she stated as she stifled a giggle at the image of the two very surprised men.

Renly quickly reached down to grab a blanket and pull it up over his lower half. It was only then that the irony of that action became painfully obvious, as his very own wife of four days had still not seen him completely naked.

“Father wants to talk to the both of you...um...when you’re ready, of course.” She smiled brightly at the two and left the room.

Loras glanced over at a clearly startled and embarrassed Renly. He gave Renly a gentle punch in the arm and flashed him an enormous, confident smile. “Well, you heard her. Put some pants on! We ride tomorrow!”


	22. The Rainbow Guard

Loras stood outside of his tent glaring across the rolling grassy field as Brienne of Tarth rode toward him. The Rainbow Guard had only been officially formed for a few weeks, but he already had issues with the newest member Renly had appointed to the unit. Loras scowled at her as she dismounted her horse and walked toward him.

“Why are you back so soon?” Loras snarled. “You were supposed to check on the security of the camp borders.”

“And I did, Lord Commander,” Brienne replied matter-of-factly. “I rode around the perimeters TWICE – just to be safe.”

Loras huffed at her comment, though silently appreciating her attention to detail. They were officially at odds with Stannis now as no compromised could be reached and they could take no chances on weak camp security.

Just then Renly emerged from his own test, which was set up right beside Loras’s. “Brienne! Just the person I’m looking for,” Renly stated brightly with a large smile, causing a sharp glare from Loras.

“Yes, My Lord. How may I serve you?” she replied.

“I would like you to ride toward the far west of our perimeter and deliver these instructions to Ser Royce and his unit. I need to keep him updated on Stannis’s whereabouts. You can take Loras with you.”

“What?!” Loras scoffed. “I’m Lord Commander – I have far too many things to do than escort HER! She can go by herself!” Renly raised an eyebrow and gave his number one knight a hard stare, causing Loras to begrudgingly hop upon his horse and set out as he had been commanded to.

As the two Rainbow Guard members made their way out of the center of the camp, Loras quickened the speed of his horse, making sure to stay a few paces ahead of Brienne. He did not want to have to speak to her...nor look at her. His ego had been badly bruised, as well as his chest, less than 48 hours earlier when Brienne had bested him during a joust in front of Lord Renly. And then to further rub salt into the wound, Renly had appointed her as the final member of the Rainbow Guard at her request. Brienne was the absolute last person on earth he felt like being with at this moment.

Loras sulked to himself as he heard Brienne’s horse making strides to catch up to him. “Ser Loras,” she began as she gained ground. “Must we ride at breakneck speed? Couldn’t we perhaps talk as we make our way?”

“Talk? Talk about what? I have nothing to say to you,” he snarled.

“I understand you’re still upset about me besting you the other day, but we’re both members of the Rainbow Guard. We are here to do a job and see that Lord Renly rises to the Iron Throne. Wouldn’t it be in the best interest of everybody if we could work together instead of against each other?” she implored.

Loras pulled the reigns tight on his horse, causing it to whinny and come to a complete halt, as he turned to glare at Brienne. “You know...he DOESN’T love you! He never did...and he never will!” he said callously and with as much venom as he could muster.

Brienne swallowed hard as the sting of the comment resonated throughout her entire body. “I’m well aware of that, Ser Loras. I know that Lord Renly prefers the company of...men.”

“PFFT,” Loras scoffed. “The way you stare at him – with stars in your eyes. EVERYBODY can see it. And EVERYBODY laughs about it. You look ridiculous! The six foot tall woman who looks like a man...making eyes at the future king! As if you EVER had a chance!”

Loras saw Brienne’s face fall as he emotionally cut her deep with his cruel words. He almost felt sorry for a second, but then quickly shook it off and snapped the reigns of his horse as he started to ride again, just at a much slower pace this time.

The two trotted down the road in silence for a bit before Brienne decided to speak. “Do you know when I first met Lord Renly?”

Loras shook his head in the negative and glanced away, indicating he did not particularly care to hear the details.

Brienne ignored the gesture of indifference and continued on anyway. “We knew each other as children. He was the nicest, kindest boy I knew. When the other boys would tease me, make fun of me, call me ugly, throw rocks at me...Renly was the only one who would ever stand up for me or make them stop. He didn’t have to do that – but he did. You never forget somebody who shows you that type of kindness.”

Loras side-glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, noticing a slight smile on her face as she recounted the memory of her childhood friend.

Brienne continued on with conviction in her voice. “I believe whoever sits on the Iron Throne should be a man of honesty and compassion. We’ve been ruled by tyrants for far too long, whose only accomplishments have been being born into the right family. Lord Renly is different...he is exactly what the Seven Kingdoms need and I will lay down my life if need be to ensure that he gets there – whether YOU like me or not!”

Loras heard the determination and catch in her voice at the end. He never doubted Brienne’s loyalty to Renly. It was just his jealousy eating away at him from the inside. Rationally he knew Renly had no feelings towards Brienne on any intimate level. But still, the knowledge that she was clearly in love with HIS lover was painful for him. Renly was HIS, not hers, and he wanted to make sure she knew that in no uncertain terms.

“So...whether you and I can act like adults towards each other makes no difference to me,” Brienne stated. “I just think you owe it to Renly to work WITH me instead of AGAINST me.”

“Owe it to Renly?” Loras shouted. “You have no idea what you’re talking about! My very existence out here on this battlefield is FOR Renly. Every second of my day is spent strategizing on how to defeat Stannis and so he can conquer the Iron Throne! You make it sound as if I do nothing.”

“You were handed the position of Lord Commander on a silver platter. I don’t doubt that you’ve worked hard over the years to become the knight you are today, but all that came easy for you.”

Loras rolled his eyes and shook his head as the comment.

“It’s quite true. Perhaps you don’t see it from where you are, perched so high above the rest of us, but you have never had to struggle a day in your life. You come from a noble family with wealth that matches only the Lannisters. You’re father could have easily bought you a position in the Kingsguard if your skills were to have been deemed subpar...”

“How dare you?!” Loras yelled back. “I’ve worked my ass off, every day since I could hold a stick! I’ve trained just as hard as anybody...I was knighted at 15!” Loras face reddened and he fumed as Brienne made him question his own talent and ability.

Brienne smiled, seeing she had clearly hit a nerve. “I too have worked hard since I could hold a stick . And yet, I will never be a knight, Ser Loras. For I am but a woman...and no matter how many times I best you – whether it be once or a hundred, I will never get the privilege to be knighted as you were. Does that sound fair to you?”

Loras paused, mouth agape, not sure how to respond to Brienne’s question. She was right, of course. He had just never thought about it in those terms. He had never really thought about much of anything unless it affected him directly.

“Listen,” Brienne continued in a gentler tone. “I’m not here to wage war with you. I’m here to fight by your side for the man we have both sworn to protect. I promise I will always have your back during battle, and all I ask is that you grant the same respect toward me.”

“Well...yes...yes...of course,” Loras replied, finally feeling like he had been shown his place in a roundabout way.

“I know my place when it comes to Renly,” she stated. “I also know how much he loves you...I can see it in his eyes when he looks at you. I can be talking to him and I know the exact moment you pass behind me because I see his eyes pull away and fix upon you. And from that point on, my words fall upon deaf ears as he is wholly mesmerized by your mere presence.”

Loras fought to conceal a smug smile of satisfaction, not having realized that Renly’s affection for him was so casually noticed by others.

“I don’t pull any man’s eye in my direction, and I probably never will. And I have no false delusions or expectations that Renly would ever look at me the way he does you.” Brienne smiled, her words trying to form a bridge between the two.

For the first time since meeting Brienne, Loras finally looked at her as an actual human being with feelings and emotions, and not just an obstacle that was set in front of him to make his life more difficult. He regretted each and every cruel word he had thrown at her earlier. She bested him fair and square the other day and he had to accept that. Hating her for it was childish and petty and he had now come to the realization of that.

“I’m sure that someday it will happen for you. A man will come along and fall hopelessly in love with you. You just have to be patient,” Loras stated, not sure if he completely believed what he was saying, but feeling it the polite thing to say under the circumstances.

Brienne smiled at the first kind words Loras had spoken to her. “Perhaps. I guess we’ll have to wait and see.” And with that, the two returned their focus to the task at hand of reaching Ser Royce and delivering the coordinates of Stannis’s army.


	23. "Pray With Me"

Loras secured his horse and walked toward Renly’s tent. He and Brienne had just returned from delivering a message to Ser Royce and he needed to inform Renly it had been taken care of. As Loras entered the tent, he stopped short upon seeing that Catelyn Stark was already there discussing some political matters. Renly raised a finger, indicating for Loras to wait a moment so they could finish their conversation.

Loras stood in polite silence and remained near the tent entrance, allowing the two to finish their discussion in private. As the minutes passed by, Loras grew bored and restless and his eyes began to wander over every inch of Renly, taking him in from head to toe. Loras admired how handsome Renly was as he stood there speaking to Lady Stark. A faint smile formed on Loras’s lips as he focused in on the dark and piercing eyes, the beautiful smile, thick hair, the recent facial hair he had decided to grow, and the regal way in which he carried himself. And while Renly was completely dressed, Loras allowed himself a moment to envision his Lord without all the unnecessary clothing on.

Loras was suddenly jolted out of his risqué daydream as Renly began to escort Catelyn toward the entrance of the tent. “Thank you so much for coming to speak with me, Lady Stark. If you’ll excuse me now, I’d like to pray a while before I retire.”

“Of course, Lord Renly. Thank you for your time,” Lady Stark replied as she smiled and nodded in Loras’s direction while taking her leave. Loras stepped aside as he held the tent flap open to allow her to exit, then quickly fastened all the ties on the door to the tent. Loras looked up and smiled once he had completed it - “There! So she doesn’t come in and bother you.”

“Lady Stark?” Renly asked.

“No. Brienne the Beauty,” Loras replied.

Renly rolled his eyes and huffed, a smile on his face as he looked at Loras. “Why are you so jealous of her?”

“Jealous? Of Brienne the Beauty? HA! Don’t make me laugh,” Loras replied nonchalantly, though knowing full well he wasn’t fooling Renly one bit. Renly had sensed the tension between his two Rainbow Guard members since the day he had appointed Brienne.

“Come here,” Renly growled as he pulled Loras into his embrace and grabbed his face so he could kiss him. “I want you to stay and pray with me tonight,” he whispered into Loras’s ear.

“Of course, Your Grace...I would love nothing more than to...to pray with you,” Loras replied knowingly as the two made quick work of each other’s clothing and fell on top of the mattress in one swoop. Although they were in a tent, every luxury had been afforded to ensure that it was as comfortable and close to being in Renly’s own chamber at Storm’s End as possible.

As the two began a frenzied pace of grabbing, stroking and caressing each other, they heard a large boom of thunder and the sound of heavy rain beating down on the top of the tent. Unphased by the impending storm, the two lovers carried on. Renly positioned himself over Loras and placed soft, gentle kisses upon his bruised chest, causing the younger man to wince slightly. Not in the mood to be submissive tonight, Loras quickly repositioned himself and used his weight to force Renly down and onto his back. Renly let a soft laugh escape his lips at the forwardness his Lord Commander was showing as of late in bed.

Loras knelt in between Renly’s legs and looked up at his paramour with all the lust and animal instinct he could muster. He placed his hands on Renly’s inner thighs to position his legs to his liking, and then proceeded to take all of his Lord’s erection into his mouth. Loras had completely mastered the art of oral sex over the past few years, becoming just as skilled at it as Renly. He had managed to overcome the gag reflex that had plagued him in the beginning and could now deep throat him with almost no effort at all.

Renly laid his head back on the pillow and closed his eyes, allowing his younger lover to please him. With all the stress of political meetings and war planning going on during the day, finding a few minutes each evening to “pray” with Loras was the only thing that kept him sane these days.

Renly rolled his head to the side and moaned softly as he felt himself being guided deep down inside Loras’s throat. He reached down between his legs and lightly stroked the golden mop of curls atop Loras’s bobbing head. “Gods...I love you...” Renly gasped as Loras continued to do his best work. Before long Renly felt the build up begin to roll throughout his body and he pushed Loras’s head down onto his throbbing cock as hard as he could. He felt himself explode inside Loras’s mouth and then allowed his body to go limp in the aftermath. Loras swallowed everything he gave him and continued to lick his Lord until he was left clean.

“Good?” Loras asked with a smirk as he knelt over Renly.

“That’s was fucking incredible,” Renly managed to muster while flashing a rather impressed smile.

“Now it’s my turn,” Loras stated with a mischievous grin. He grabbed Renly by the arm in order to turn him over onto his stomach. Once he had accomplished that, he positioned Renly so that he was kneeling and on all fours.

“Loras!” Renly began to lightly protest, “You know this isn’t my preference...” Renly wasn’t sure whether it was simply the age difference or the fact that he outranked Loras, but he was far more comfortable being the aggressor in bed. But as of late, Loras had begun to challenge him and was clearly attempting to demonstrate that he wanted to be the dominant one in bed...at least some of the time. And while Renly wasn’t so keen on the idea, he understood why Loras needed to do so. They were both men, both in high positions, on the battlefield and facing death every day of their life. On some level, he understood that Loras needed to assert his masculinity in bed just as much as he did on the battlefield. And Loras was clearly a force to be reckoned with. He didn’t accept the word “No” without a fight...ever. Therefore, compromise on Renly’s part was something he had quickly discovered was needed the older Loras got.

Loras knelt behind Renly, placing his hands on his Lord’s hips. “I’ve been your submissive for years,” he began. “And trust me, I’ve loved every second if it...but once in a while, I need to be the one in control. Do you understand?”

Renly nodded his head, acknowledging his understanding of Loras’s needs, and relaxed himself in preparation. Loras bent over his lover and ran his tongue up and down his spine, eventually moving up toward his neck and sucking the soft spot just between Renly’s neck and his right shoulder, causing a quick shudder to escape from Renly. Loras then bit down on his neck, symbolically claiming his prize for the night, before moving back behind Renly’s hips.

Loras removed the oil container from the side drawer and proceeded to use it to ready his partner. Renly stiffened his body as he felt Loras’s fingers enter him. Renly had spent so many nights doing the exact same thing to Loras over the years and it seemed odd to have the tables turned. Loras started with one finger before quickly changing to two. He had learned a lot from Renly during their time together and was always pleased when had the chance to reciprocate. He took enormous satisfaction upon seeing his older lover arch his back and whine softly with each movement of his fingers. He loved Renly with all his heart and soul and knowing he was able to please him as no other man could was priceless to Loras.

Once satisfied that Renly had been properly stretched, Loras removed his fingers and pressed his own manhood against his lover’s opening. Loras inched his way in slowly, having learned from Renly how to do it without causing any discomfort. Loras leaned forward and placed his forehead firmly on Renly’s back as he pressed onward, groaning loudly with pleasure as his paramour eventually took all of him. Loras looked down to see his entire cock immersed inside his lover and a large smile spread across his face. He was in charge tonight and he was going to relish every second of it, because he knew full well Renly probably wouldn’t allow it again for a while.

While Renly remained on all fours, Loras placed his hands on his partner’s hips as he began to rock back and forth, pulling himself out and then pushing himself back in, then repeating the movement over and over. Loras looked down and watched the display unfold before his eyes. His own cock was rock hard and glistening with oil and he watched with sheer satisfaction as it slid in and out of Renly’s ass with ease.

“Mmmm....fuck Renly...fuck you feel so good,” Loras mumbled under his breath. “So fucking tight...FUCK!”

Renly began to pull the sheets with his fists as he started to feel himself becoming fully aroused for the second time. Even though he had just come himself a few minutes ago, whatever Loras was doing was bringing him back to a state of desperate want and need. Renly bowed his head down and began to mumble quietly to himself.

“I can’t hear you...” Loras said softly, his mouth pressed in between Renly’s shoulder blades. “I want to hear you.”

Renly groaned and lifted his head a little. “Fuck me...fuck me, Loras. Fuck me hard and don’t stop! Please?!”

It wasn’t often he heard Renly beg, but when he did it was enough to throw him into a frenzied state of blind lust, and Loras saw to it that his partner didn’t need to ask twice. Loras grabbed him roughly by the waist and simultaneously pulled his lover in closer, as he himself thrust into him as hard as he could. He was rough and forceful and he knew Renly loved every second of it. With each forceful thrust the bed shook and the loud slap of skin-on-skin could probably be heard by anyone standing outside of the tent. But at that moment, neither man gave a dam about any of that. All either one of them had on their mind was being fucked by the other and loving every moment of it.

Loras reached under Renly’s arms and pulled him up so that they were both kneeling, with Renly’s back pressed up against his chest. Loras wrapped one arm around Renly’s chest, while he placed his other hand firmly around Renly’s cock. Renly reached out and grabbed onto part of the headboard of the bed for stability as Loras began to use all the force he could muster to slam into him....again...and again...and again.

With each plunge Loras was hitting Renly’s prostate in the most amazing way. Renly let his head fall backwards and onto Loras’s shoulder, allowing his younger lover to finish what he started. Loras turned his face so that he could bear down with a hard kiss to Renly’s lips as he delivered the final blow, sending his Lord out of his mind with ecstasy. Renly’s groan turned into a scream that he tried his best to stifle, but the pleasure was just too intense to silence. The pounding of his prostate alongside his cock being pulled and stroked by Loras’s strong hand brought him to what was undoubtedly the best orgasm he had ever had in his 22 years on this earth. He screamed Loras’s name over and over as he ejaculated all over the headboard.

Moments later it was Loras’s turn to attempt to muffle his own scream as he buried his face deep in Renly’s neck. He felt his own seed burst forth deep inside Renly again and again, eventually slowing down until he knew he had nothing left to give.

Loras gently pushed Renly forward as the two collapsed onto the bed, Loras still buried deep inside of Renly and lying on top of him. He rested his cheek on Renly’s left shoulder blade as they both took some deep breaths in an attempt to recover. Renly could feel the pulse of Loras’s manhood begin to slow down from within him.

“That was amazing,” Renly finally managed to get out. “Fucking amazing.”

“Well, I learned from the best,” Loras replied with a quick kiss to the back of his shoulder before removing his now softening erection from Renly. “You ought to let me have control more often,” he smirked as he slid off of his lover and took his place beside him on the bed.

The two could now clearly hear the thunder and rain pelting down with force on the roof of the tent, and every so often the interior of the tent would momentarily light up due to a flash of lightening. Renly positioned himself comfortably on his back against a few pillows and held Loras close to him. The two remained silent for a bit until Renly eventually spoke.

“Loras? Do you remember when you first came to Storm’s End? Do you remember how afraid of thunderstorms you were back then?”

Loras laughed lightly. “Yes, I remember. I was so young then.”

“Yes, you were. Only 12,” Renly stated. “It seems like such a long time ago, doesn’t it?” Renly’s face became quite serious as he pondered the events of the last five years that danced in and out of his mind.

“Hmmm mmm,” Loras replied, beginning to feel the start of sleep wash over him.

“So much has changed since then,” Renly mused. “Things are so...so different now,” his tone suddenly quite serious.

Loras yawned before replying. “Uh huh. I’m not afraid of thunderstorms anymore.”

Renly looked down and chuckled as Loras had clearly missed the entire point he was trying to make. He had been referring to how grave their situation had now become and how their lives now hung in the balance with the ongoing war. But Loras always broke things down to a simpler level. He pulled Loras in as close as he could, resting his cheek against his lover’s tousled and messy hair. “That’s right...you’re not afraid of thunder storms anymore.”

Renly thought silently to himself how different their lives were just a few short years ago...how much simpler everything had been. He smiled to himself at the recollection of Loras’s complete innocence upon first arriving to Storm’s End – the boy’s initial sadness and homesickness, his bag of tiny toys he had brought with him for comfort, his childish ways and ability to irritate Robert, and how they eventually became the best of friends over that first difficult year.

“Loras - Do you remember all those parties Robert used to make me attend?”

Loras opened his eyes and smiled. “Yes! And do you remember how hard I tried to find you the perfect woman to marry?”

Renly laughed out loud at the ridiculousness of it all now. So much wasted time pretending to be somebody he was not, when the person he truly loved had been right under his nose the entire time.

“I do,” Renly replied. “And if I’ve never told you, I appreciated all of your hard work,” he laughed.

Renly’s thoughts then wandered to the first time he had kissed Loras under the weirwood tree, the first time he had ever made love to him in his bed, and the first time he spoke the words ‘I love you.” They had shared so many memories in such a short period of time. And of course there were a few unpleasant moments sprinkled in as well, like the intermittent disagreements they would have, or the occasional temperamental outbursts from Loras that sometimes left the Lord of Storm’s End with a scrape or two when it was all over...but Renly wouldn’t have changed a single second of it. In this moment, he knew he had everything he needed in life because he had Loras.

“I love you, Loras. I’m so grateful to have you in my life.” Loras did not respond and Renly knew he had fallen asleep. He nestled himself down under the blanket, feeling perfectly safe and content with Loras in his arms while listening to the thunderstorm pass overhead. And even though they were camped out only a few miles away from Stannis’s army, he felt completely safe and secure knowing his Knight of Flowers was beside him.

“Thank you for praying with me tonight, Loras.” And with that, Renly closed his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter before the "You Choose" your own ending. The following two chapters (Ch. 24 and 25) are in line with the sad ending we are familiar with from the books/TV show. But if you would prefer to read an alternative, happier ending, then you can skip ahead to Chapter 26.


	24. Return to the Weirwood Tree

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter, as well as the next (Chapter 25), is the sad ending that we are familiar with. For the alternative or "happy" ending, you can just jump ahead to Chapter 26.

Loras’s face was somber and the color of ash as he rode Renly’s mare, Nellie, through the thick woods of Storm’s End. The dark circles under his eyes revealed that he had not slept in almost 48 hours, but he would not rest until he had finished what he had set out to do. Renly was dead - his lover and best friend, was dead. He did not fully know how or why...those answers would come in time he hoped, although he instinctively knew Stannis was behind it somehow. But right now the job at hand was to see that Renly was laid to rest in a place that nobody would ever find. And Loras was going to see to it himself that it was done properly.

Loras looked down at the lifeless body that had been carefully placed over the back of Nellie. It had been gently wrapped in burlap material and tied securely so that it would not move as they rode across the rough terrain. He was taking Renly to the one place on earth that had made him happy and that would serve as his final resting place. Loras knew it was where Renly would have wanted to be buried, if he had ever been given the choice to say so in life. With all the countless hours of deep discussions they had over the years, the topic of Renly’s death had somehow failed to come up. Upon being knighted, Loras’s death had always been the main topic of conversation as Renly had feared he could never live without him...but the thought of Renly dying first had just never entered either of their minds. Renly was a politician, not a soldier. This wasn’t supposed to have happened.

As the trees thinned, Loras entered onto the lush grassy area where the two had once spent happier days. Directly in front of him was Renly’s weirwood tree – still tall and beautiful with its strong branches filled with leaves of fiery red. Loras dismounted the horse and carefully untied Renly’s body from the mare before laying him gently down on the soft green grass. Loras secured Nellie to another nearby tree and proceeded to remove a large shovel that had been strapped to her side.

Loras took a long, mournful look at the lifeless cloth-covered body lying on the ground before turning his attention back to the job at hand. Placing his foot firmly on the blade of the shovel, he pushed down hard to remove the first clump of dirt. He began to dig at a frenzied pace, afraid that if he stopped for even a second he would fall apart at the seams and not be able to finish this last and most important task for his Lord. Not used to such hard physical labor, Loras’s hands soon began to blister and bleed as sweat poured from his brow causing his eyes to sting. Eventually, and after much effort, Loras took a step back to survey the hole that he had dug. It seemed sufficiently deep enough, as well as ample in length and width.

Loras looked up at the darkening sky. The sun would be setting soon and there was not much time to waste. He walked over to Renly’s body and gently carried it closer to the grave before setting it down once again on the grass. Loras then lowered himself down into the grave, reached over to pull the body in towards him, and then placed it within the freshly dug hole with the utmost care.

Loras knelt down beside the burlap-covered body. With a shaky hand, he pulled some of the material away so that he could look upon his lover’s face one more time. Even in death Renly was handsome. Loras ran his hand over the side of Renly’s face and then smoothed out the dark brown hair that had become out of place during the trip to Storm’s End. Loras removed a little more of the material until he could see Renly’s beautiful coat. He himself had dressed Renly that morning...dressing him in green and gold and even pinning a golden rose brooch onto his outer coat – the same brooch he had pinned on him the day he married Margaery. Wherever Renly was going, Loras wanted to make sure that a little piece of himself went with him. He then reached inside of his own coat pocket and removed a small wooden figurine in the shape of a knight. It was one from the collection that Loras had brought to Storm’s End as a child, and one that Renly had often admired the detailed craftsmanship of. He reached down and slid the figurine tenderly inside Renly’s hand.

Loras choked back a sob in his throat as he took a moment to look at his beloved for the final time. He leaned over to kiss his lips...lips that were cold and that did not respond back. Never again would Renly’s arms hold him close...never again would he hear his soothing voice...never again would he stare into his dark brown eyes...never.

“I’m so sorry,” Loras cried under his breath. “I am so, _SO_ sorry. I didn’t protect you as I should have. Please forgive me.” He repositioned the burlap across Renly’s face for the final time and wearily pulled himself out of the hole. Picking up the shovel once more, Loras began to toss large shovelfuls of dirt upon his lover and best friend’s body until the entire grave had been filled in. Loras patted the dirt down to ensure that it was level. Before long the grass would fill in and there would be no evidence to the naked eye that anybody was buried here...only Loras would know the secret burial place.

Loras knelt down on the finished grave to say his final goodbye. “I hope you’re happy that I brought you here, Renly. I know how much you loved to come out here as a child. I wanted to bury you beneath your tree so that you can always find peace and happiness.”

Suddenly realizing that his task was complete, Loras unexpectedly burst into a loud wail and wept with such force that he fell forward on the grave, his hands and forehead pressed deep into the dirt and being unable to control his body from heaving and wrenching. For several minutes he cried out loud, with only Nellie and the woodland creatures to hear his sorrow, until eventually his wracked body began to slowly calm itself. With much effort, he took some deep breaths before rising from his knees and to his feet.

Loras retrieved Nellie and climbed upon her. He took one final look at the weirwood tree and could almost see Renly as a child sitting in the branches as he had heard his Lord recount the story from his youth so many times. His eyes then traveled to scan the pinkish-blue skyline. The sun was just about to set over the horizon. It was a poignant moment for Loras as he watched it lower slowly in the sky.

“When the sun has set, no candle can replace it,” Loras stated sadly. “I will always love you, My Lord...I will never forget you. Until we meet again.” His heart was painfully heavy and he knew that the enormous sadness he felt today would remain with him for the rest of his life.

“Come on, girl,” Loras stated as he turned the mare around and made his way back down the familiar path of woods…only this time he was traveling it alone. The path would eventually bring him out onto the grounds of Storm’s End, but he would not be stopping there. He would instead be riding onward to Highgarden tonight. Never again would he step inside the castle of Storm’s End. That chapter of his life had been closed. Right now, Loras needed the comfort of his family and there was no place else he wanted to be but home.


	25. Eternal Happines

Loras opened his eyes, but he could see nothing. He sensed he was laying on the floor, but he was not sure of anything else. Everything was pitch black and a heavy smoke seemed to hang in the air. And the smell…it was a terrible, horrible smell...the smell of burning flesh. Loras was trying to recollect what happened and put all the pieces together, but he was having difficulty doing so. Everything had happened so fast. The last thing he recalled was that he had been standing trial for a host of moral sins, including buggery, depravity and profligacy, after the Faith of the Seven had seized power and discovered his sexual orientation. Homosexuality was a sin in their eyes and Loras was being used as an example. He recalled confessing his “sins” before the High Sparrow, hoping that by doing so he would be released back to his family in Highgarden, but from that point on he could remember nothing.

Loras was so weak he could barely turn his head, but as he struggled to do so he was eventually able to see part of his upper body. As he looked down upon his arm he could see bones showing through charred skin…and yet he felt no pain. _“How can this be? Am I still alive?”_ he thought to himself. Out of the corner of his eye he could see another body partially laying on top of his own. It was so badly burned it was beyond recognition, but there was a small amount of long, strawberry-blond hair still surrounding the head. “Margaery,” Loras whispered, his voice hoarse and weak. “Oh gods…No! Not Margaery!” he cried. Little bits and pieces of the day were starting to come back to him and he recalled that he had last been clinging to Margaery for comfort as she was speaking to the High Sparrow. And then...out of nowhere…wildfire. Yes...Loras recalled now, it had been wildfire. It had raged through the sept too fast for anybody to react. He remembered everything now.

 _“I must be dead,”_ Loras thought to himself. Nobody could survive the amount of wildfire that had torn through the Great Sept. As Loras continued to lay on the floor waiting for death to finally claim him, he began to notice a small, bright light in the distance. It gradually came closer and got brighter. _‘Rescuers”_ he thought to himself. _“But they’re too late.”_ As the light came closer still, Loras could make out the silhouette of a man in the center of it. As he continued to stare, he realized that he recognized the outline as someone he once knew.

“Renly? No...it couldn’t be. Renly?!” Loras cried weakly, his hoarse voice barely louder than a whisper. He tried to muster up the last bit of strength he had because if it was truly Renly, he had to find a way to reach him. Ever so gently he removed Margaery’s body off of his own and attempted to stand. As he looked down at his legs he could see that they too revealed his bones with just a bit of charred, blackened skin in a few places. But somehow Loras managed to stand up on those mangled legs and take a few wobbly steps in the direction of the light.

As he approached, Loras could see the transparent silhouette began to fill in with more solid features. It WAS Renly! Loras could barely believe his eyes and was not completely sure if he was dreaming or simply hallucinating from the trauma that had occurred. Renly was wearing the same green and gold coat that Loras himself had buried him in several years earlier. And on Renly’s left chest was the shiny golden rose brooch that he had pinned to his coat.

Loras stood with his mouth agape, unable to speak. His eyes filled with tears at the image before him. If this was a dream, he never wanted to awaken from it.

“It’s okay Loras. You’re safe now,” the image stated softly.

Finally finding his voice, Loras attempted to speak. “Renly? Is…is it really you?” he croaked softly in disbelief, his raspy voice barely above a whisper.

Renly smiled and nodded. He looked as handsome and as young as the day he died. It was like time had stood still and Loras had stepped back into the past...the beautiful, wonderful past when Renly was alive and they were together. But that was impossible...Renly was dead. Unless...

“Am…am I dead too?” Loras questioned, clearly confused with what was unfolding.

“Yes, Loras. You are.”

An overwhelming feeling of rage and fury began to boil up inside of Loras. He was so young...he had so many more things he had wanted to accomplish in his life. Why? Why did this happen? _How_ did this happen? None of it was fair. Loras was angry and confused and his emotions were being pulled in a dozen different directions.

“There’s nothing to worry about anymore, Loras,” Renly stated calmly. “I didn’t expect you here so soon…but I’m so very glad to see you. I’ve missed you very much.”

The events of Renly’s death suddenly flooded Loras’s head and heart like a tidal wave. His frantic words fell out of his mouth with barely a breath in between - “It’s my fault you died! I put the idea in your head and then I failed to protect you! And...and I called you a traitor and denounced you at my trial!” Loras covered his face with his hands, ashamed to have Renly look upon him after what he had been forced to say about him at the trial.

“None of it was your fault, Loras,” Renly said calmly. “I don’t blame you for anything you did…or said…in life. You did what you had to do. I have never once doubted your love or loyalty.”

“But there were times when I...after you were gone...I...I...” Loras’s voice quivered as he recollected his moments of weakness and loneliness when he had fallen into the beds of other men. Never once did he have the slightest of feelings for any of them – they were simply coping mechanisms to get him through the heartache of losing Renly. But the guilt of his own weakness in succumbing to it weighed heavily on him.

“I know, Loras...and I understand. I know your love for me was undying...and whatever meaningless activities you did to get through the pain of it – I understand. I’m sure I would have done the same thing.” Renly eyes revealed pity and his voice displayed mercy as he looked upon his Knight of Flowers, clearly tormented by anguish. “I forgive you, Loras.”

Loras cried out loud while heaving a sigh of relief at the enormous burden that was just lifted from his shoulders. He had spent the last several years living with the guilt that not only was Renly’s death his fault, but also the remorse that always came after a one-night stand. As he brought his hands up toward his face again to brush away a few tears, Loras noticed that the flesh was completely intact. It was no longer charred and blackened and the bones were not visible as they had been before. He stared at his hands in amazement...how could this be? He looked down at the rest of his body and to his shock, he was no longer wearing the dirty rags that he had been forced to wear while imprisoned. He was wearing one of his beautiful handmade suits made of green and gold silk, with intricately detailed sleeves and a decorative high collar. He had not worn anything this elegant since being imprisoned several months earlier.

Renly held his hands out, gesturing for Loras to come closer. “Come, Loras. I have a great many things to show you.”

“But...Margaery...and my father.” Loras looked over his shoulder and back toward the smoke-filled sept that once stood.

“They’ll have to find their own path across. Everybody does. But I promise you, you WILL see them again. But for now, come with me.”

“Where are we going?” Loras asked.

“To Storm’s End. You need to rest tonight. You’ve been through quite an ordeal today. Tomorrow I will explain everything you need to know. From this point on, everything will be fine…I promise you.”

Loras looked back once more at the smoke and rubble, knowing there was nothing further he could do for his father and sister. He turned back around to see that Renly had already begun to walk away. Loras ran a few steps to catch up to him.

“There’s a storm rolling in tonight, Loras. But don’t worry. You can climb into bed with me...just like when you were little and had first arrived at Storm’s End.”

Renly reached out his hand and grasped Loras’s as the two walked further into the light. Loras had so many questions and in time they would all be answered. But all he needed to know at this moment was that he was with Renly again...this time for eternity...and nothing beyond that mattered anymore.

_~Finis~_


	26. Alternative Ending

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Renly and Loras’s deaths were so sad and I think they both got a pretty raw deal with death by shadow baby and wildfire, so this is a “What if” alternative ending. What if Renly could have sensed the fatal ending that was to be by going up against Stannis? What if he had saw the warning signs and stepped aside? How might things have been different if he had made a different choice?

Timeframe: Nine months after Chapter 23 - “Pray With Me” takes place.

Renly paced back and forth in the large dining room at Highgarden, waiting for any news to come about either Loras or Margaery. Each were in separate bedroom chambers, each with their own measter who was tending to them. Renly had been pushed out of each room multiple times due to “being in the way” by Lady Olenna and had been banished to the dining hall to wait nervously for word on either one of them.

At one end of the hallway, Loras was recovering from a nasty gash to the side from a miscalculation during a tourney the day prior. It was bound to happen eventually with Loras’s cocky demeanor as of late. At the opposite end of the hallway, Margaery was in her tenth hour of labor with her and Renly’s first child. Renly was beside himself not knowing the fate of either of them. If a wound was not disinfected and closed up properly, it could be fatal. Childbirth was often fatal as well. If he was back in Storm’s End he would have demanded entrance into each room and insisted upon being given the latest information on each Tyrell…but he was at Highgarden and Lady Olenna was very much in charge of the situation. The only thing he could do was wait…and pray. Pray for Loras…pray for Margaery…pray for his unborn child.

Renly sat down in a chair and took some deep breaths while nervously ringing his hands. The last nine months had been a whirlwind of events. It was in this very room that he had called all the Tyrell’s in to inform them that he had some extremely important news to relay to them. After much thought, he had decided to forego his claim against Stannis and would no longer be fighting for the Iron Throne.

Renly had explained to the Tyrell’s in great detail the foreshadowing nightmares and visions he had been plagued with for weeks. Night after night, images of his own death - as well as Loras’s - were shown to him as a warning sign. The premonitions had even begun to flash in front of his eyes while wide awake and in broad daylight, and not just simply during sleep. Premonitions of stabbings, blood, a ghost-like creature, and wildfire. He only saw bits and pieces and could not fully put them all together, but he knew that the gods were sending him warming signs that he was about to make a fatal mistake.

Once the visions had risen to the level where Renly could not longer ignore them, and after many sleepless and agonizing nights, he himself even had to agree that they could not be ignored. No Iron Throne or title of king was worth losing his or Loras’s life over…and so he decided to secede and step down.

Olenna Tyrell had been furious, as Renly had expected, but as soon as word came that he had kept his promise of impregnating Margaery, the Queen of Thorns had softened…somewhat. But it was Loras who had been the most upset at the calling off of the battle. Loras had taken it almost as a personal insult. He had sworn himself to be Renly’s sword and shield, to protect him at all costs, and he took his position as Lord Commander of the Rainbow Guard very seriously. Loras had presumed that Renly had gotten cold feet or perhaps lacked confidence in his Rainbow Guard…but that could not have been further from the truth. Renly had tried to explain his reasons, but Loras was having none of it. The past nine months had certainly been rocky for them.

Renly shook his head as he looked down at the ground and recalled the look on Loras’s face when he told him he was seceding to Stannis. Loras would get over the disappointment eventually…he hoped. And hopefully in time he would also understand why Renly had made the decision that he did.

But aside from Loras’s disappointment, things were actually beginning to fall into place these past few months for Renly. He was happily dividing his time between Storm’s End and Highgarden and keeping busy with his political career. He had remained active in the political world and was currently working toward getting a law passed that would restrict the ability of the Faith of the Seven to impose their moral will upon those who chose not to accept their teachings. He had quite a bit of support from the commoners on the issue, to which he was initially surprised at, but the common people liked and trusted Renly. Many still continued to refer to him as “The king that should have been.”

Renly ran his fingers through his hair as he nervously shook his leg up and down. “What is taking so fucking long?!” he shouted to himself as he threw his arms up in the air, his voice echoing in the large, empty room. If he didn’t get word on either Loras or Margaery’s conditions soon, he was going to go mad.

In an attempt to try and pass the tediously slow moving time, he sat back in his chair and began to recall the night he and Margaery had finally consummated their marriage. It hadn’t happened without a little help from Loras, of course, but it happened – and that was all that mattered. Renly recalled how Loras had come to his chamber that evening and had brought with him three strips of cloth material. He had immediately used two of them to tie each of Renly’s wrists to the headboard, and used the third and final piece to blindfold him. Initially Renly had assumed it was just going to be another amazing episode of sex with Loras taking charge, but as soon as his partner spoke to him, he understood what was about to happen:

_“I’m not going to say anything to you tonight, Renly…not one word. If you speak to me, I am not going to answer you. You can’t see or touch me tonight…and if something feels different, don’t question it - just accept it and allow it to happen. Picture me in your imagination the entire time – the way we did a few weeks ago.”_

And from that moment on, Renly fully understood what was about to happen. He recalled after being bound and blindfolded the sensation of Loras’s hands and mouth on his body, as usual, and then somewhere along the line things had changed slightly. He could hear what sounded like the bustle of a dress…he smelled the fragrance of perfume…and felt the softness of skin that wasn’t exactly Loras’s. Yet he was blindfolded and could not see anything, and with his hands tied he could not reach out to feel who was really there. Renly had simply allowed the event to unfold while keeping a mental image of Loras in his head and within time, he had felt himself completely aroused and on the verge of coming. He recalled that being the only time Loras spoke to him during the act. Loras’s voice was close to his ear as he began to encourage him with dirty talk to make sure he came to completion, which Renly did. Then, after some shuffling and rustling sounds within the room, Loras untied his wrists and removed the blindfold. Renly remembered looking around the room that contained only the two of them, but knowing full well that a third person had just taken her exit moments before.

Renly shook the memory of that night nine months ago from his head as he rose from the chair. He headed down the hall, having waited long enough, determined to find out the status of both his wife and his lover. Coming upon Loras’s room first, he entered without knocking. The measter that had been taking care of Loras was just packing up his supplies and preparing to leave.

“Will he be all right?” Renly asked worriedly.

The measter smiled and patted him on the shoulder. “Yes. He’s going to be just fine. I had to sew up that wound, but it will heal just fine as long as it’s kept clean. And he’ll need to rest for a few days.”

Renly thanked the maester as he exited and let out a huge sigh of relief as he sat down on the edge of Loras’s bed. Loras was groggy from whatever the maester had given him and was just starting to stir. Renly took his hand and placed it on the side of Loras’s face, gently stroking his cheek with his thumb. ‘Gods, I love him so much,” he thought silently to himself.

Loras partially opened his heavy eyes and required a few moments to focus in on Renly’s face. Upon doing so, he smiled weakly and then grimaced in pain as he tried to shift his position.

“Don’t move,” Renly ordered. “The measter said you’re going to be fine, but you need to stay in bed and rest.”

Loras nodded his head and before long he was nodding off to sleep again. Renly continued to stare at the face of his sleeping lover. It was in these quiet moments that he knew without a doubt he had made the right decision to step down from the war, even if Loras did not. A wound at a tourney could often be mended, but not so when it was obtained on the battlefield.

Now fully assured that Loras was going to be okay, Renly decided to see how Margaery was faring. As he stepped out of Loras’s chamber and quietly closed the door, he saw Mace Tyrell scurrying quickly down the hall. “I was just sent to get you, Lord Renly – the baby is here!” he proclaimed happily.

Renly felt his heart rise into his throat as he made a mad dash down the hall to Margeary’s room. As he stepped in, he noticed Margaery half-sitting up against a great many pillows and holding a tiny, squirming bundle against her breast the she was nursing. For a moment Renly was frozen still and not sure how to handle the situation. He and Margaery’s marriage was far from typical and what role she wanted him to play right now was very unclear to him.

Margaery looked up and, upon noticing him in the doorway, smiled tiredly at him. “Please come in…come and meet your son.”

“My…my son? It’s a boy?!” Renly asked while trying to hold back a choke of emotion. He quickly moved toward Margaery’s bed and sat on the edge beside her. He reached over to move away the blanket a bit so he could look upon the newborn’s tiny pink face. He watched in amazement as the infant instinctively knew how to feed and soothe itself by latching on to his mother’s breast. It was probably the most beautiful thing Renly had ever seen in his life.

Once the child had finished nursing, Margaery extended her arms. “Here…hold him,” she offered. Renly paused, having never held an infant in his life. But this wasn’t just any baby – this was HIS son. He reached out to gingerly take the tiny package in his arms. He stared down in wonder at this tiny creature that he had helped bring into the world. Suddenly, an overwhelming feeling of parental protection and unconditional love washed over him. Never in his wildest dreams had he thought he would ever be somebody’s father, but yet here he was – a father. A father to a beautifully perfect and healthy baby boy. His eyes filled up at this new and strange feeling. “Gods, he’s so beautiful. I will always love you…I will always protect you…my son,” he whispered to the tiny infant as Margaery looked on, smiling at the sincerity of his words.

“What’s his name?” Renly asked.

“Loren,” she replied. “Well, unless you have any objections of course.”

Renly locked eyes with his son for the first time as the infant began to try and open them. He could not help but recognize that the name was a blend of Loras and Renly. “Loren,” he repeated to himself. “It’s perfect. I love it. He looks like a Loren!”

“He does, doesn’t he?” the new mother laughed weakly. “I’m so happy you like it.”

Renly slid himself up the bed a bit closer to Margaery and carefully leaned over to kiss her on her damp forehead. “I want you to know that I DO love you. I love you for giving me my son and for being so understanding of our…our unusual marriage. You are very, _very_ special to me, Margaery.”

Margaery reached up and touched Renly’s cheek. Her own feelings were very much the same toward him. He was a good and kind man, and that was often difficult to find in Westeros. And while it was true their marriage was unconventional, they were each doing their best to make it work. To those outside of the family, they made sure that things appeared quite normal, but behind closed doors both were free to find love elsewhere, albeit discreetly.

The sound of the chamber door opening took Renly’s attention away from his wife and new son. “Loras! You’re not supposed to be out of bed,” he scolded.

“Father told me the baby was here and I wanted to see him…I’ll go right back to bed, I promise. Just let me see him…please.” Loras held his side as he slowly shuffled over to a chair close to the bed, wincing a bit as he sat down.

Renly stood and brought the now sleeping baby over to him, placing him carefully in Loras’s arms. Loras held the bundle rather awkwardly, not exactly used to holding babies either. He smiled at Margaery and Renly. The uniqueness of this unusual arrangement between the three was not lost on any them. While most infants were brought into the world by only two people, this special child was essentially created by three people.

As baby Loren squirmed in his sleep, he threw his left arm up and out of the blanket, complete with a tiny clenched fist. “Whoa – did you see that?” Loras exclaimed excitedly. “He’s going to be a knight one day – I know it! I can’t wait to show him how to hold a sword!”

“Let’s focus on seeing that he learns to walk first, shall we, dear brother?” Margaery laughed.

Renly’s gaze shifted back and forth from Loras to Margeary. His life may not be conventional in the traditional sense of the word, but it was absolutely perfect - Iron Throne or not. His son would not only be the heir to Highgarden, but to Storm’s End as well. He would have every advantage in life that Renly could manage to provide. But more important then any wealth or property that would be bestowed upon the infant, Loren would be a child who was accepted for who he was…whatever that might be. Only time would tell the kind of man that Loren would grow up to be, but the three people in the room with him at this moment would go to the ends of the earth to love, accept and protect him, no matter who he chose to love or what path in life he decided to take.

****************************************************************************

Renly looked past the weirwood tree and toward the grassy field where 5–year-old Loren was wildly swinging around the nameday sword that his Uncle Loras had just gifted him. Loras was jumping out of the way of the blade, trying to hold the young boy’s arm to demonstrate the proper technique. Renly laughed at the display, not knowing who was enjoying the lesson more – Loren or Loras.

From behind him he heard a high pitched squeal and he turned to see his 18-month old daughter toddling through the high grass as she picked wild flowers, running a few paces in front of Margaery. He crouched down, extended his arms, and waited patiently for her little legs to carry her to him. Upon doing so, he picked her up and tossed her gently into the air before bringing her in for a tight hug. From the moment he became a father he vowed that his children would never once question whether they were loved or accepted…and Renly made sure he demonstrated that daily to each of them.

“Those are beautiful flowers, Cassana! Did you pick them for your great-grandmother?” Renly smiled as his daughter, named after his late mother, giggled and nodded her head while extending the flowers forcefully in the air and waving them about furiously. Lady Olenna would be lucky if one flower was still intact by the time they were able to present them to her. He turned to look over his shoulder and shouted down to the two “knights” who were still engaged in their lesson. “Loren…Loras…come inside now. It’s supper time!”

Young Loren made a mad dash past the weirwood tree and ran down the trail toward Storm’s End, clearly not about to allow his supper to get cold. Renly waited for Margaery to catch up to him and they, along with Cassana in his arms, began to head back as well. Margaery grasped onto Renly’s one free arm as he helped escort her toward the wooded trail.

Renly’s weirwood tree had become a favorite place for both his children whenever the family came to spend time at Storm’s End. Loren spent hours climbing its strong branches, while Cassana enjoyed running through the tall grass, picking flowers and watching the birds. It was a gift of no monetary value, and yet priceless nonetheless to see the smiles on his children’s faces, knowing that they too loved this special gift of nature as much as he did when he was their age.

Renly turned around to see if Loras was following. Loras was standing motionless beneath the weirwood tree, looking down at the ground beneath his feet as if studying it. His face had become solemn and he appeared to be deep in thought.

“What’s wrong, Loras?” Renly asked.

Loras looked up suddenly, startled by Renly’s question. “Nothing…nothing at all,” he replied a bit too quickly. He caught up to them and the three adults and one toddler made their way down the wooded path, leaving the weirwood tree to visit another day.

Later on that evening, after supper and bathtime, Renly entered his children’s chamber. And while there was no Iron Throne to sit upon, there was a large, comfortable chair in the center of the room. It is where he would sit each evening, with Cassana on his lap and Loren tucked under his right arm as he read to them before bedtime. Some nights, such as this one, the children could beg hard enough to persuade Uncle Loras to come in as well. At these times, Loras would lie on the floor in front the crackling fire blazing in the hearth, and would occasionally cut Renly off during his reading in order to change the words or endings of the story, thus causing loud belly laughs from his niece and nephew.

With the evening’s reading now complete and the children tucked in for the night, Renly and Loras retired to their chamber as usual. Margaery was discreetly receiving a visit from her gentleman friend at the opposite end of the home this evening. As the two men crawled into bed, Renly let out a loud, weary sigh as he rubbed his eyes.

“You look exhausted,” Loras proclaimed. “I think your age is catching up to you.”

“I’m only 28, Loras. I’m not old yet!” he laughed. “I just don’t have the energy that my children have anymore.” Loras grinned and slid in close beside his partner, moving Renly’s arm so that it was now around his own shoulders.

“Loras, what happened today…out at the weirwood tree? You sensed something, didn’t you?” Renly asked.

Loras paused for a moment before speaking, then rose up on one elbow so he could look Renly directly in the eye. “I don’t know exactly what I saw or felt, but…it was the strangest feeling that I got. I sensed your death…I saw your burial…right there under that tree. I felt myself digging the grave and…” Loras took a breath in order to hold his emotions in check. “…and then I realized that you were right all along. I know it now…you made the right decision to not lay claim to the Iron Throne. If you had carried on and gone up against Stannis’ army, I know that not one of us would still be here today…including the little ones.”

“I’ve waited for over five years to hear you say that. I’m so glad you finally understand why I made that decision,” Renly stated. “It wasn’t an easy one to make, but I knew it had to be done…for all of our sakes. It’s far better to be called ‘the king that should have been’ than to be dead.”

Loras nodded and settled himself back down, his face resting on Renly’s chest, just as he had done for years. He decided to change the subject away from death and to something more pleasant. “So…your 29th nameday is coming up soon.”

“Hmm mmm,” Renly replied. “I’ve been thinking about that as a matter of fact. Do you remember what you gave me on my 21st?”

Loras thought for a moment, trying to backtrack through the years to Renly’s 21st nameday. Eventually he recalled it and turned his head around to flash a large, knowing smile at his paramour. “Yes…I remember! Is that what you want?”

Renly shifted his position and rolled over on top of Loras, pinning his wrists down against the bed as he stared longingly into his eyes. “Yes Loras…that’s what I want.”

“Fine,” Loras said seductively under his breath. “Whatever you want, My Lord. But you’ll have to wait for your nameday. So in the meantime, let me give you something else while you wait.” Renly happily accepted the offer and once they were both satisfied and completely fatigued from their lovemaking, they fell asleep in each others arms.

The race for the Iron Throne had carried on in Renly’s absence. How it would end, and who would be victorious when all was said and done, nobody knew. Only time would tell. But here, tucked away in the comfort and safety of Storm’s End and alternatively Highgarden, Renly Baratheon and Loras Tyrell would carry on very much as they had before. In a world that seemed determined to eliminate happiness and joy, Renly and Loras would take their combined worlds of politics and knighthood, interwoven with the love they had for each other and the two Baratheon offspring, and would see to it that they created their own little place in the world to be filled with happiness and comfort for as long as the gods allowed them to have breath in their lungs.

_~Finis~_

____

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that wraps it up! Thank you to those of you have been reading along since Chapter 1. I hadn't planned on taking it through all the way to "the end", but once I got writing I really enjoyed it. I'll have to find something to do with my free time now that this is done. :/


End file.
